The Paradox of Free Time: Finding True Rest in a Busy World

[Anderson]

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What Counts as Free Time?

On the surface, the idea seems straightforward: free time is when you're not working and doing whatever you want. However, for someone living in the 21st century, the concept of free time is more complex. When are you truly not working, and how can you allow yourself to relax when competitors are out there earning fame and fortune while you're watching TV shows?

If you decide to rest, make it worthwhile. Listen to podcasts, enroll in online courses, visit exhibitions, museums, gyms, or attend a workshop. Clean your home or cook an exotic meal. Wait, is that really rest? Let's break it down.

Defining Free Time

Let's take 24 hours and subtract work - 8 hours, which includes both paid and unpaid labor, such as household chores and childcare. Then subtract sleep - 8 hours, hygiene and getting ready - 1 hour (though for some, it might take twice as long), cooking - 1 hour if you don't rely on deliveries, and commuting - 1 hour, unless you work from home and use this time for extra sleep. This leaves us with about 5 hours, assuming you operate like a robot and never waste time on trivialities. Adding meal times - 30 minutes for breakfast, an hour for lunch, and an hour for dinner—your remaining free time shrinks to 2.5 hours. Not much, right?

What Is Rest?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, rest is a period of sleep or inactivity after exertion. While Oxford views sleep as rest, people generally consider rest as time away from work to recharge. The Ozhigov Dictionary aligns more with this understanding, defining rest as spending time away from usual activities to restore energy. Wikipedia adds that rest is a state of calm, free from work, making it logical to see rest as the opposite of work. However, this system of rest and work often fails.

Examples of Misguided Rest

Imagine you’ve saved up all year for a beach vacation, denying yourself comforts. You finally get those coveted two weeks at an all-inclusive resort and try to maximize every moment - going on every excursion, eating everything at the buffet, swimming, and sunbathing from dawn to dusk. You wake up at 6 a.m. to be the first on the beach, unwilling to miss a single opportunity. This turns your passive vacation into a race, leaving you exhausted. Hence the joke about needing a vacation after your vacation. If this sounds familiar, reconsider if it was truly rest or just leisure.

In another scenario, you visit Paris with only five days to see everything - museums, theaters, galleries. You wake up early to cram in as many sites as possible, walking 40,000 steps a day. By the end, you might find Paris less charming, experiencing what’s known as "Paris Syndrome." You leave overwhelmed and unable to recall details. This over-saturation with activities leads to a fear of missing out (FOMO).

Conversely, you might spend your vacation at home, barely leaving the bed, eating takeout, and binge-watching shows. This can feel like rest but might leave you with a strange aftertaste—perhaps encountering what’s called the "weekend neurosis." This stems from a culture of productivity, making it hard to relax without feeling guilty or unproductive.

Am I Worthy of Rest?

The modern work-life balance concept often makes us view leisure as a luxury for the privileged or lazy. If you haven’t achieved significant success, do you deserve rest? The theoretical boundaries of achievement are limitless, implying one could never truly earn rest, leading to burnout, health issues, or even death. This issue isn’t limited to work but extends to education, particularly in fields like IT, where endless learning paths can be overwhelming without a structured plan.

The Evolution of Leisure

Historically, ancient societies, especially hunter-gatherers, spent less time on survival than previously thought, enjoying more leisure. The Neolithic era brought agriculture, requiring more discipline and reducing free time. Over centuries, societal structures and work ethics evolved, culminating in the Industrial Revolution, where work hours became rigid and rest essential for survival. By the 19th century, labor unions fought for reasonable work hours and paid vacations.

The 20th century saw a shift towards recognizing leisure's importance, with declarations like the Universal Declaration of Human Rights affirming the right to rest and leisure. The post-industrial society saw an increase in free time, with services and entertainment industries blossoming. Today, leisure is no longer a gap filler but a self-sufficient aspect of life, albeit still influenced by productivity and economic value.

Conclusion

Balancing work and leisure remains a challenge, influenced by historical, cultural, and economic factors. Understanding and redefining what counts as rest is crucial for maintaining mental and physical well-being in our fast-paced world.

 

[Monk]

That's super interesting!

Do you guys ever feel guilty for taking time off? My team always needs help, and I end up feeling bad about stepping away. How do you manage that feeling?

I feel it all the time! To remind myself that rest is essential for productivity, I started tracking my breaks and their impact on my work and mood. I keep it simple with a journal, noting how each break makes me feel and how it affects my focus. It’s become a small habit, nothing fancy, just short notes. Plus, I treat myself with small rewards like a piece of chocolate or a walk in the park - even short one, it helps me to relax. It’s made a huge difference!

[Super]

Oh man, I totally get you! The guilt can be real. What helps me is setting clear boundaries. I’ve told my team when I’m off the clock, I’m really off the clock. No emails, no work chat, even no Facebook, TikTok and other social media. It took some time, but now they respect it. I also try to remind myself that taking breaks makes me more effective when I’m back. And honestly, I love treating myself to a good movie or some ice cream during my downtime. It makes the rest feel worth it.

[Nancy]

Seems like you're super people. I'm struggling to switch off even when I take a small brake...what I find helps is using essential oils like lavender or eucalyptus – they really set a calming mood. I also make a point to brew some herbal teas, like chamomile or peppermint, which are super soothing. I’ll do some deep breathing exercises or gentle yoga to unwind physically. I also control my screen time and turn off my phone an hour before bed.

[Alisa]

It's frustrating when you set aside time to relax, but your mind keeps racing. I've found that engaging in creative activities really helps. For instance, I love painting and drawing. It doesn't matter if I'm good at it; the process itself is therapeutic. I also use guided meditations and mindfulness apps, which provide structure and help calm my thoughts. Sometimes even 5 minutes is enough.

On particularly stressful days, I indulge in a warm bath with Epsom salts and light some scented candles. The combination of creative expression and sensory relaxation techniques makes a big difference.

[Peter]

I love the picture in the first post! It reminds me about the most relaxing trip I ever had. I once spent a week in a cozy cabin by the lake with no Wi-Fi. The peace and quiet, combined with nature walks and reading, made it the most restful vacation ever. We even had nights by the fireplace with hot cocoa and board games. Disconnecting from the digital world was key for me.

[Anderson]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. No matter at work or at home (you know, sometimes you can very tired there...) I found that having a hobby helps. For me, it’s playing guitar. It’s a nice distraction and helps me unwind. Also, I’ve set up a rule for myself – no work emails, no chats in messangers after 7 PM. It was tough at first, but now it’s my time to chill. A good podcast or audiobook also helps me relax and forget about work for a bit. Little things like this have made a big difference.

[Olga]

You know that feeling when you’re scrolling through Instagram and it seems like everyone is having an amazing time without you? Yeah, that’s FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. I used to experience it all the time. 

One weekend, I decided to stay in and relax, but as I was lying on my couch, I opened up social media. Big mistake. My feed was full of friends at a cool rooftop party, someone else was at a concert, and another friend was on a spontaneous road trip. Suddenly, my cozy night in felt like a terrible decision. I kept thinking, “What if something incredible happens and I’m not there?” That anxious feeling kept bubbling up, making me regret not going out.

After a while, I realized that this constant comparison was making me unhappy. So, I decided to make a change. First, I started limiting my time on social media. It was hard at first, but I found that the less I checked, the less I worried about what everyone else was doing. 

I also started focusing more on the present moment. Instead of feeling bad about missing out on a party, I began appreciating the little things about my night in – like binge-watching my favorite show, reading a good book, or just enjoying some peace and quiet. 

Another thing that helped was setting realistic expectations. I reminded myself that social media is a highlight reel, and not everyone is having the perfect life they portray online. Everyone has down days and boring moments, even if they don’t post about them.

Finally, I began practicing gratitude. Each night, I’d write down a few things I was thankful for. This simple habit shifted my focus from what I didn’t have to what I did, making me appreciate my own experiences more.

Dealing with FOMO is an ongoing process, but these changes have made a huge difference for me. Now, I enjoy my downtime without feeling like I’m missing out on something better.