Why Do We Love Villains? A Deep Dive into Our Shadow Selves

[Olga]

As children, you likely idolised the perfectly good heroes. Icons like Superman, Batman, or Rocky. However, as you approached adolescence, something changed. You began to be drawn to more complex characters.

This shift is quite simple to explain: you are, to some extent, a negative hero yourself. You have a part of you that is villainous, whether you acknowledge it or not. Today, you will meet this part of yourself, although you might not like it.

A well-written, complex antagonist evokes a wide range of emotions. You can't view them in black and white. Often, sympathy emerges as the dominant feeling. Usually, a tragic backstory stands behind a complex villain. They were ordinary people once but were rejected, deprived of what they loved, or inflicted with lifelong pain. Sometimes, villains bear physical scars as symbols of their suffering. By delving into their psychology and philosophy, we can't help but empathize with them.

Moreover, as we watch them defy social norms and confront the hypocritical faces of polished heroes, we briefly glimpse our true selves. We see our shadow, the part of us that is hidden from our conscious perception.

Good and evil are subjective constructs. What is considered good or evil is determined by cultural and societal norms absorbed from early childhood through familial and societal influences. Some behaviors deemed bad are universally condemned, like causing pain or taking a life. Others are more debatable and change over time.

As a child, you learned what behaviors were considered bad and which ones earned approval. This shaped your self-image, your ego, what you refer to as "I". However, not all your traits are socially acceptable. As you grow older, you might discover aggressive tendencies or other qualities that weren't encouraged in your family. For instance, Victor might find he is not the sweet, gentle person his family wanted him to be but is often aggressive. Or Christina might realize she is not the quiet, modest girl she was expected to be and finds herself wanting to be a "bad girl."

This is frightening because it conflicts with the safe self-image fostered by your puritan upbringing. You then reject parts of yourself that are genuine, spontaneous, and authentic, labeling them as mistakes or unacceptable. This rejection gives birth to your shadow.

Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, introduced the concept of the shadow. It encompasses all aspects of your personality that are pushed into the unconscious because your conscious self, your ego, doesn't want to acknowledge them. The ego feels ashamed and fearful, pretending these aspects don't exist. Everyone has a shadow, an aspect of their personality they would rather not recognize.

Traits that are socially undesirable or threaten social ostracism, such as aggressiveness, cruelty, envy, greed, femininity in men, or masculinity in women, are prime candidates for the shadow. The less aware you are of your shadow, the darker and more destructive it becomes. It also harbors fears, traumatic memories, and taboo subjects like sex, injury, and death.

As you grow, your internal prison becomes more crowded. Eventually, the dam breaks, releasing your shadow in a flood of suppressed emotions and impulses.

Proving the Existence of the Shadow

To understand your shadow, consider cognitive psychology's concept of devaluing unchosen alternatives. Every choice you make involves an active mental process of rejecting other options. This devaluation process affects all subsequent decisions, making it hard to consider rejected alternatives seriously. This pattern creates a cluster of unchosen decisions, making it nearly impossible to choose them in the future.

Recognizing that you have a shadow is already half the battle. Many people are reluctant to believe they harbor qualities and impulses that contradict their self-image. But not having a shadow is impossible. It is physically impossible because even the most realistic portrait does not capture all the countless facets of a person.

Why Reconcile with Your Shadow?

1. Energy Drain: Suppressing your shadow is an active process requiring constant energy. Acknowledging your shadow can free up immense creative and personal resources.
   
2. Contain Valuable Traits: Your shadow includes traits that society might deem unacceptable, but they can be integral parts of a healthy personality. For example, aggression in moderation can be assertiveness and decisiveness.
   
3. Involuntary Escapes: Suppressed shadow traits often escape in the form of neuroses or self-sabotage when you are stressed or intoxicated.
   
4. Inevitability: Suppression can't last forever. Eventually, the shadow will break free, often during midlife crises, causing impulsive and destructive behavior.
   
5. Potential for Wholeness: Integrating your shadow allows you to live out unchosen aspects of your life and improves relationships with others by reconciling with yourself.

In conclusion, integrating your shadow is about uniting light and dark for a more balanced and authentic life. This process involves acknowledging and understanding these hidden aspects of yourself, allowing you to harness their energy constructively rather than destructively.

FInal Thoughts:

Understanding and integrating our shadow is a crucial step toward personal growth and self-acceptance. It allows us to embrace our true selves, warts and all, and prevents the unconscious elements of our psyche from wreaking havoc on our lives. This journey towards wholeness is not just about accepting our darker traits but recognizing their potential to contribute positively to our lives. By reconciling with our shadow, we gain deeper self-awareness, improved relationships, and greater inner peace.