The Art of Not Giving a Damn | Stoicism and Buddhism Combined

[Olga]

The Parable of the Vase

Once upon a time in ancient China, there was a revered Buddhist teacher. This teacher possessed a magnificent vase made of exquisite porcelain, intricately inlaid with precious stones. It was a gift from his old friend, a renowned craftsman famous throughout China. Every guest who visited would be shown this beautiful vase, and all agreed it was a true masterpiece.

One day, a particularly clumsy guest visited the teacher. When the teacher returned to the room, he found the vase shattered into countless glittering shards on the floor. The guest braced himself for the worst, knowing the teacher had a reputation for a fierce temper and a readiness to wield a bamboo stick to discipline his students.

But instead of expressing anger, the teacher calmly picked up a broom and began sweeping up the pieces while humming a cheerful tune. The astonished guest asked, "Master, aren't you upset that I just broke your favorite vase? Didn't it mean a lot to you?"

The teacher looked up with a kind smile and said, "Of course I loved that vase. Every morning, as the first rays of sunlight entered the room, I would delight in the play of light on its stones, and I would think gratefully of my friend and his craftsmanship. In the summer, I would fill it with wildflowers, and their fragrance suited the vase perfectly. Looking at it inspired me to create something equally beautiful and harmonious."

"But," he continued, "from the very first day I received it, in my mind, the vase was already broken."

Bridging to Modern Times

In our modern world, an epidemic of anxiety disorders is raging. According to the World Health Organization, as of 2019, 301 million people worldwide suffer from anxiety. This number has only grown, especially in light of recent global events. Anxiety disorders now top the list of common mental illnesses. They come in various forms, but they all share a common thread: excessive worry or fear that disrupts daily life.

Many people today experience a milder form of anxiety that has become almost a norm. Have you ever felt inexplicable anxiety, even when everything seems fine? If so, you're not alone. Share your experiences in the comments, and let's find comfort in our shared struggles.

On some days, a sense of internal unease can settle in, prompting us to seek explanations. We might find minor inconveniences, like pebbles in our shoes, that we rush to fix. But even after addressing these issues, the anxiety remains. This leads us to wonder if the anxiety exists independently, with our explanations merely being afterthoughts. The true cause might be deeper and less obvious.

The Philosophy of Stoicism

To navigate life's challenges, we can learn from the Stoics of ancient Greece and Rome. Stoicism isn't about being emotionless but about analyzing situations correctly. The Stoic principle of the Dichotomy of Control, as explained by Epictetus, teaches that some things are within our control, while others are not. We can control our opinions, desires, and actions, but not external outcomes.

This principle reminds us not to worry about what we can't change. For instance, you can prepare for a job interview by researching the company and presenting yourself well, but the final decision is out of your hands. Therefore, fretting over the result is unproductive.

A similar approach can be applied to other life challenges. Focus on what you can control at the moment and leave tomorrow's worries for tomorrow's you, who will be more experienced and prepared.

Embracing Mindfulness and Acceptance

The ancient practice of mindfulness, as taught by Buddhists, helps us avoid unnecessary suffering. Life's inevitable pains are like the first arrow that strikes us. However, our reactions to these pains often add a second, more painful arrow. By practicing mindfulness, we learn to observe our thoughts and emotions without letting them control us, thus avoiding the self-inflicted suffering of the second arrow.

Even pleasures, according to Buddhism, are intertwined with suffering because of our fear of losing them. This is known as the suffering of change. Our tendency to cling to possessions, status, and relationships creates anxiety, as we fear their inevitable loss. 

Conclusion

Back in ancient China, the teacher's response to the broken vase embodies the essence of acceptance and impermanence. He cherished the vase but was always aware of its fragility and the possibility of its loss. By accepting this reality, he freed himself from the suffering of attachment. 

In our own lives, we can learn to appreciate the beauty and joy we have while accepting that change and loss are natural parts of life. Embracing this mindset can help us live more peacefully, free from the constant grip of anxiety.

My Final Thoughts

The parable of the vase beautifully illustrates the importance of acceptance and the inevitability of change. It reminds us that while it's natural to value and cherish the things and people in our lives, we must also be prepared for their impermanence. This mindset not only reduces anxiety but also allows us to fully appreciate the present moment. By focusing on what we can control and accepting what we cannot, we can lead more fulfilling and resilient lives.