Developing Charisma: How to Attract the Attention of Others

[Olga]

You've probably met people who attract others like a magnet. Such people are charming and attractive, open and sociable, confident and persuasive. They capture public attention, often become leaders, and inspire others with their ideas. These individuals can influence and get what they want from people. In other words, they are charismatic.

Charismatic people are confident and possess an inner strength that helps them cope with external pressure. They don't let others violate their personal boundaries, know how to defend their point of view, and earn respect. Charismatic individuals are persuasive, influencing those around them with their speech and behavior. Charisma provides a competitive advantage at work but can also be beneficial outside the professional realm, such as in interpersonal communication and relationship building.

Plato believed that charisma is a divine gift. However, modern psychological and sociological research shows that charisma is a skill that can be developed by improving personal characteristics. It might seem that a charismatic person is born with distinctive personality traits and that those who are not born with them cannot be considered charismatic, but this is not the case. Just as a person learns their native language and refines their speech, they can also develop social skills, and as a result, charisma.

Here we will define the traits common to charismatic people. We will analyze the behavior of various charismatic personalities from media, movies, and TV shows to see the multifaceted nature of charisma. Charisma should not be viewed as unequivocally positive; every coin has two sides. Therefore, we will look at both the positive and negative aspects of possessing charisma.

Let's begin. Charisma as a social skill is not uncommon. Many people, both from the media field and from personal circles, can be called charismatic. At the beginning, I mentioned that charisma is a skill. But are there criteria by which this skill can be measured? American psychologist Bernard Bass developed a multifactor leadership questionnaire, where one of the criteria for leadership is charisma. Charisma, in turn, is measured by several elements.

The first element of measuring charisma is creating a vision for the future. This means goals, results, and expectations that unite group members around a charismatic leader. The second element is a sense of calling—a belief in one's special purpose. The third is contagious pride or demonstrating a sense of self-worth. Finally, the fourth is the trust and respect of followers. By evaluating each element on a ten-point scale, one can measure a person's approximate level of charisma.

This is far from the only questionnaire used to measure charisma. Other researchers have developed similar questionnaires. Following the logic of measurement scales, it appears that one can assess the presence of certain charismatic traits and draw conclusions about someone's level of charisma. Let's try to follow this logic and evaluate whether a bright, expressive person like Quentin Tarantino possesses the aforementioned qualities.

Tarantino has always been known for his bluntness and straightforwardness, not only in his films but also in real life. Early in his career, he became an innovator, a person who used new narrative techniques in cinema, for which he received numerous awards. Tarantino attracts people with his unique speech, expressiveness, persuasiveness, and ability to defend his own interests. He inspires not only the people he works with but also his viewers and fans. Evaluating Tarantino on these qualities, one can conclude that he is a charismatic personality. 

But does this mean that charisma measurement scales provide accurate results? Let's evaluate a media person entirely different from Tarantino and try to understand whether, according to the questionnaire, they can also be called charismatic. Bill Gates does not display the same high level of expressiveness as Tarantino. In public, he remains modest and restrained. However, Gates, like Tarantino, is a leader in his field and has many followers. Gates has a unique vision of how the world will be structured in the future, the challenges humanity will face, and how to overcome them. He attracts people with his expertise, experience, and confidence. His speeches sound convincing.

When evaluating Tarantino and Gates for the mentioned qualities, they can both be called charismatic since each possesses the characteristics of a charismatic person to some extent. However, after comparing them, it becomes clear that charisma manifests differently in each of them. The list of qualities a charismatic person possesses is quite extensive and is not limited to the traits listed in the questionnaire. To be called charismatic, it is not necessary to have all these skills. As we've seen, charisma manifests differently in each charismatic person, with their unique set of personal characteristics.

 

[Olga]

Charisma measurement scales and other questionnaires can be used to better understand oneself, highlight strengths and weaknesses, but they should not be seen as the definitive answer to whether one has charisma or not. Charisma has no precise formula and consists of a person's unique qualities. However, charisma is not defined only by these qualities; there are also external factors that determine charisma, which we will discuss further.

Perception and charisma go deeper. To be considered charismatic, it is not enough to possess certain personal characteristics. In the manifestation of charisma, it is important not only to have certain qualities but also how others perceive these qualities. To be called charismatic, a person's combination of personal qualities should appear unique, attractive, and even magnetic to others.

Jordan Belfort, better known as the Wolf of Wall Street, would not have been considered such a charismatic and bright personality if his subordinates, instead of supporting him, had not responded emotionally to his words. Moreover, there would have been people who not only would not have considered him charismatic but also found him unpleasant.

If we return to comparing Bill Gates and Quentin Tarantino, we can see that neither of them possesses the mysterious magnetism inherent to charismatic people. Their appeal comes not from their qualities but rather from their achievements and status in society. Knowing their status and the products they created, they appear more attractive and authoritative in our eyes. Consequently, any action they take or words they speak seem interesting, unusual, and vivid to us. Without considering their social status and achievements, they are just people doing what they love. At some point, they managed to show themselves publicly, create something unique, and gain recognition and popularity. This is explained by their hard work and perseverance, possibly talent, but not necessarily charisma. Often, we ourselves attribute charismatic traits to a person who essentially does not possess them.

It is not entirely correct to try to develop charisma by looking up to famous media personalities. Their openness and behavior result from their fame. They understand in advance that if they are popular, they are significant and accepted by many people, which is why they behave confidently. Most importantly, self-confidence leads to further success. But why do some people strive to attribute charisma to others? There are several reasons for this.

First, it is emotional exchange. A charismatic person builds relationships with others not just through agreements but primarily emotionally. A charismatic person gives people positive emotions, making them feel important. In turn, others reinforce the charismatic person's confidence and also give them positive emotions.

Second, by attributing charisma to someone, people also seek to pass on conditional power and responsibility for decision-making. It is the followers of the leader, not the leader themselves, who often believe in the leader's mission, purpose, and unusual calling. The appeal of a charismatic person is explained not only by their behavior but also by their image. Often, in the image of a charismatic person, such contradictory things as leadership and sacrifice are combined. Charismatics may share stories of overcoming difficulties or making significant sacrifices.

The leadership aspect makes people perceive the charismatic person as a fighter, uniting them around the ideas the charismatic person promotes. They see strength and inspiration in them. The sacrificial part also unites people on an emotional level; others empathize with the charismatic person because they have experienced similar emotions or situations. This explains why sometimes movie villains attract us more than positive characters. To achieve their goals, antagonists perform actions that seem immoral or cruel, but knowing their true motivation and the sacrifices they had to make, we empathize with them and want to watch them.

A charismatic person does not exist in isolation; they are supported by the people around them. If we imagine charisma as a light source emanating from a person, it shines much brighter if reflected from a mirror-like surface. In this case, the mirror represents the people surrounding the light source, and the light itself is positive emotions.

Moving on to some myths about charisma, from what has been said earlier, you might have some questions. Does being charismatic require being attractive or successful? Do you need to have an innate gift for communication or a complex life story? Not necessarily. The level of a person's charisma can be somewhat altered through conscious practice. To manifest charisma, it is important not only to show people your own significance but also to convince them that they are significant to you.

Some comedian, during his performances, not only delivers a monologue but also engages in improvised dialogue with the audience. This way, he shows respect to the audience and emphasizes that they are important to him. The stories Romanov shares through stand-up allow the audience to emotionally connect with him and start the process of exchanging positive emotions. The comedian does not try to do what is not natural for him; he does not build an ideal image or imitate someone else. He remains himself in relation to the audience, showing goodwill, which also enhances his charisma. He endears people to him, and they respond with trust. According to Romanov, he is not an extrovert and describes himself as a modest person. "I have always been a closed, shy person, but you can't ride far on intellect alone." 

The logical conclusion from this is that to manifest charisma, it is not necessary to have a bright, attractive appearance. History knows examples of outwardly ordinary people becoming charismatic in the eyes of others. It is not necessary to possess pronounced openness and sociability. Introverts have no less, if not more, chances to become charismatic than extroverts.

The ability to connect with people on a personal level. One's charisma lies in his authenticity and the way he shares personal stories that resonate with his audience. 

Understanding the techniques these individuals use can help anyone learn to draw attention in a positive way. Here are some key strategies:

Be Authentic: Authenticity creates trust. When people see that you are genuine, they are more likely to be drawn to you.
Communicate Effectively: Good communication involves not just speaking well but also listening actively. Show interest in others and respond thoughtfully.
Develop a Strong Presence: This includes body language, eye contact, and how you carry yourself. A confident posture and a warm smile can make a big difference.
Tell Stories: People are naturally drawn to stories. Sharing personal anecdotes or experiences can make you more relatable and interesting.
Be Passionate: Passion is infectious. When you speak about something you care deeply about, it shows, and it can captivate others.
Show Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others can create a strong emotional connection.

By applying these strategies, anyone can enhance their ability to attract and maintain the attention of those around them, just like the successful figures in the entertainment industry.

[Anderson]

I also would like to mention an interesting post about Charisma which give a thought around it as a gift or a skill - Have a look

and one more, which describes principles and methods how Matthew McConaughey made himself a charismatic person: