How to Find Motivation When Goals Feel Meaningless?

[Monk]

What to Do When You Feel Disconnected from Your Goals and Desire

Hello and welcome to another insightful coffee break with purpose. 🙂 Today, we’re diving into a pressing topic: what to do when you feel completely uninspired and even question the worth of your goals. This issue resonates with many, and understanding it can bring significant clarity and change.

The Question at Hand

A reader recently shared their story during a live broadcast: “Good day. For the past seven years, I’ve been feeling completely unmotivated and disconnected from my goals. Lately, I’ve noticed that I don’t even want to leave the house. My hobbies, fitness routine, work, and even shopping bring me less and less joy. With my 40th birthday approaching, I no longer see dreams or prospects for development. It feels like I've experienced everything life has to offer. How can I find the energy to continue growing? I keep asking myself: ‘Why do I need to achieve these goals? Why do I need to maintain a fit body?’ And I can’t find an answer. How do I escape this state?”

Thank you for this heartfelt question. Many people may find themselves in a similar situation, feeling stuck despite past achievements. Let's explore why this happens and how to navigate these feelings.

Understanding the Core Desire

At the heart of human motivation is a fundamental desire: to feel valued and fulfilled. This core need drives much of what we do, from childhood through adulthood. We crave acknowledgment and validation from others, often striving to be seen and valued.

When someone holds a deep-seated belief that they are not good enough - no matter their accomplishments—they may feel everything in life is meaningless. This belief can create a cycle where no matter how much they achieve, they feel empty and unsatisfied.

The Illusion of Fulfillment

Often, people are driven by the illusion that achieving certain milestones - such as financial success, physical fitness, or social accolades - will finally make them feel complete and fulfilled. However, reaching these goals can sometimes lead to an unexpected realization: nothing has truly changed.

Why does this happen? Because the fulfillment we seek is not always found in external achievements. If our sense of self-worth and happiness depends on external validation, we may find that even the most significant achievements fall short.

Revisiting Goals and Aspirations

Why might someone feel that their goals are no longer relevant or necessary? This feeling can stem from a deeper, unaddressed belief that they are unworthy or that their expectations of success are misaligned with their true desires.

It’s crucial to evaluate the kind of goals and aspirations you envision. Sometimes, the mental image of what success should be might not align with what you genuinely want or need. Reassess your expectations and desires to ensure they are realistic and fulfilling.

Creating a New Narrative

One reason you might not feel motivated is that you haven’t imagined your goals in a way that truly excites you. Furthermore, if you feel there’s no one to impress or seek validation from, it can sap your motivation.

It’s also possible that those around you have no particular expectations or are content with their lives as they are. They may not expect you to achieve extraordinary feats or embody a certain ideal. This realization can sometimes lead to the feeling that your goals are unattainable or meaningless.

Redefining Your Path

To overcome this, start by crafting your own life narrative. Reflect on who in your life may have lived unfulfilled or unhappy lives and consider if you’re unconsciously following a similar path. Break away from the default script and write your own.

Seek out new environments and communities, like our Flexian Community, where your goals are valued and where you can find the encouragement and recognition you need. Engage with people who share your ambitions and can support your journey.

Embracing Internal Fulfillment

Ultimately, every pursuit in life is driven by a search for certain feelings - joy, satisfaction, love, and acceptance. If you learn to cultivate these feelings within yourself, you’ll find success and fulfillment more readily.

Start by focusing on self-acceptance and happiness today. Look at your life and ask yourself: What emotions are you carrying? Whose path are you following? And how can you create your own fulfilling journey?

Final Thoughts

Reflect deeply on your current emotional state. Are you feeling anxious, dissatisfied, or overwhelmed? Identify these feelings and question their origins. Are they influenced by the life paths of those around you?

Understanding and addressing these aspects can help you create a more fulfilling and authentic life path. Explore resources and practices that support this journey and take proactive steps towards crafting your own unique and satisfying story.

Remember, your journey towards fulfillment starts with recognizing and embracing your own desires and needs. So, take this moment to reflect and start shaping your own path.

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[Olga]

Imagine you're climbing a mountain. At the base, there are crowds of people cheering you on, handing you supplies, and giving you all sorts of advice. Every time you reach a checkpoint, they applaud and offer more rewards. This is exciting, even motivating - at first. But as you climb higher, the crowds thin out, the cheers grow fainter, and you start to feel the weight of the journey. What happens when the summit is still far away, and there’s no one left to applaud your efforts? Do you keep climbing, or do you stop and wonder why you started in the first place?

This mountain is a metaphor for your goals, and the people cheering you on represent extrinsic motivation - the external rewards and validation that drive so much of what we do. But what happens when those external motivators fade away, or they no longer feel satisfying? That’s where intrinsic motivation comes into play, and it’s the kind of fuel that doesn’t run out.

The Allure of External Validation

Let’s follow the journey of someone who, like many of us, started climbing that mountain fueled by extrinsic motivation. Meet Maria. In her early twenties, Maria had a clear vision of what success looked like. She wanted the prestigious job, the impressive resume, the admiration of her peers, and the financial rewards that came with it. And for a while, that worked. She received promotions, accolades, and pay raises. Each one was a checkpoint on her climb, and every bit of recognition spurred her on.

But after years of climbing, something shifted. The promotions didn’t feel as thrilling, the accolades felt hollow, and the money, while nice, wasn’t bringing her the happiness she expected. Maria found herself standing on a ledge, halfway up the mountain, wondering why she was climbing at all. The cheers from below had faded, and she was left alone with her thoughts.

The Downside of Chasing External Rewards

Maria’s story is all too common. When we chase external rewards - whether it’s money, status, or recognition - we often lose sight of why we started in the first place. The initial excitement can carry us for a while, but it’s not sustainable in the long run. Why? Because extrinsic motivation relies on things outside of our control. What happens when the promotions stop coming, or the praise dries up? What if the goals we’re chasing aren’t aligned with what truly matters to us?

This is where the risk of burnout and disconnection comes in. Maria started to feel like her accomplishments were just items on a checklist, rather than meaningful milestones. She was no longer climbing for herself but for the approval of others. And when that approval no longer brought her joy, she felt lost.

Rediscovering Intrinsic Motivation

But Maria’s story doesn’t end there. She had a choice: she could keep climbing for the sake of it, or she could find a new reason to keep going - a reason that came from within. This is the heart of intrinsic motivation.

One day, while resting on that mountain ledge, Maria looked out at the view. For the first time in years, she wasn’t focused on the summit or on who might be watching her progress. She was simply present, enjoying the moment. In that quiet space, she remembered what had driven her before the world’s expectations took over. She recalled how much she loved solving problems, helping others grow, and learning new things - not because it would lead to a promotion, but because it genuinely excited her.

So, Maria made a shift. She started setting goals that aligned with her passions rather than external expectations. She took on projects that challenged her creatively, even if they didn’t come with a big reward. She started volunteering, mentoring others, and learning new skills, simply because it brought her joy. And as she did, something amazing happened: the climb became enjoyable again. She wasn’t driven by the distant summit, but by the journey itself.

The Power of Intrinsic Motivation

Maria’s story illustrates a powerful truth: Intrinsic motivation is what sustains us when the external rewards fade. It’s what keeps us going when the cheers have died down, and it’s the key to finding long-lasting fulfillment in our goals. Unlike extrinsic motivation, which is dependent on others, intrinsic motivation comes from within and is fueled by our passions, values, and the satisfaction of doing something we truly care about.

When you’re driven by intrinsic motivation, your goals become more than just checkpoints on a climb—they become expressions of who you are and what you love. And that kind of motivation doesn’t just help you reach the summit; it makes the entire journey worthwhile.

Finding Your Own Path

If you find yourself questioning the worth of your goals, like Maria did, take a moment to pause. Look around and ask yourself: Why am I climbing this mountain? What do I truly care about? Are my goals aligned with my passions, or am I chasing someone else’s definition of success?

By reconnecting with your intrinsic motivation, you can rediscover the joy in your journey. Whether it’s pursuing a passion project, learning for the sake of learning, or helping others without expecting anything in return, let your inner drive guide you. Because when your motivation comes from within, the climb becomes less about reaching the top and more about enjoying every step along the way.

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[Anderson]

Motivation is often overflowing, but it’s not the kind you think of—it’s the kind that destroys you from within. You know, people often talk about motivation as if it’s this endless fuel source that keeps you going no matter what. But let's be real: the only ones who think like that are those who refuse to see the truth.

If you take a hard look at reality, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We live in a time when facing the truth about ourselves and the world can be incredibly difficult. And here's the kicker—most of us do have motivation, but it's twisted. Instead of pushing us forward, it's tearing us apart. It sits inside us like a heavy weight, gnawing at us with feelings of emptiness, despair, and a sense that nothing really matters.

This kind of motivation doesn't inspire action; it breeds anxiety, restlessness, and a feeling of being stuck. It’s like having a car full of fuel but nowhere to go. The engine’s revving, but you’re not moving—just burning out.

And honestly, I don’t want that for you. I want you to feel the kind of motivation that propels you forward, not holds you back. I want your life to be driven by a sense of purpose, even if it feels like you're riding a rickety cart that’s barely holding together. Let it creak, let it groan, but keep moving. Hold on tight, because that’s where the thrill of life comes from. It’s not about having everything perfect; it’s about embracing the chaos and charging ahead regardless.

So here’s what I wish for you: not the illusion of smooth sailing, but the drive to keep going when things get tough, the courage to face the truth even when it’s uncomfortable, and the ability to turn that burning motivation into action that means something.

More Thoughts

This captures a very real struggle that many people face: having motivation but not knowing how to channel it in a way that’s productive. We all carry some form of inner drive, but if left unchecked, it can turn into a destructive force rather than a positive one. What’s key here is learning to harness that energy, even if it feels messy or uncertain. It’s about embracing life’s imperfections and using them as fuel, rather than letting them drain you. 

The message resonates because it shifts the focus from needing to have everything figured out to simply holding on and pushing forward, even when it’s tough. It reminds us that motivation isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about having the grit to keep going, and that’s where true strength lies.

[Monk]

9 Essential Steps to Boost Your Energy and Unlock Your Full Potential

These nine steps will open your eyes wider than the opening ceremony of the Olympics in France! But why am I so convinced of their importance? Because most of us rarely take the time to look within ourselves and understand how the most complex device on Earth—our own mind and body—actually works. We didn’t come with a manual at birth, and often, we’re so busy that when we finally have a moment of downtime, our brains immediately hit us with guilt: “You’re wasting time; you’re missing out; everyone else is already successful.” Sounds familiar?

My job involves helping people explore what’s happening inside them—why they feel drained, stuck, or not yet reached that elusive “next level.” My mission is to guide them toward that breakthrough. But this article isn’t for everyone—it’s for those with ambition, those who refuse to settle. Here, I share my insights, clients’ experiences, and scientific data that reveal how to boost personal energy and potential significantly.

Over the past month, I conducted 34 consultations with entrepreneurs, freelancers, and professionals across various fields, identifying patterns that dramatically improve energy and personal achievement. As someone with a strong calling to teach, I can’t help but share these insights. So, buckle up, engage your brain, and let’s dive in.

1. Think Differently, Not Just More

It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing more of the same. We often believe that hustling harder is the key to success, but this approach can lead to burnout rather than progress. This concept is known as a “paradigm shift”—a fundamental change in how problems are approached.

For example, I used to post hundreds of short videos (reels) on social media that consistently got around 2,000 views. I was working hard but did not see real growth. Then, a friend suggested collaborating with other creators to boost visibility. That simple shift in approach transformed my results. It wasn’t about doing more; it was about doing things differently. 

Another example: imagine you’re doing everything right—eating well, exercising, meditating, and still feeling drained. The missing piece might be as simple as low iron levels, as revealed through a blood test. Sometimes, the most impactful changes come from seeing the problem through a new lens.

2. Monitor Your Health Regularly

Avoiding medical tests because you’re afraid of what you might find is like sticking your head in the sand. Knowledge is power, and understanding your health is the first step to improving it. 

For instance, a simple blood test can reveal deficiencies or issues that are directly impacting your energy levels. I’ve seen it countless times: people who unknowingly struggle with nutrient deficiencies, allergies, or underlying health issues that sabotage their well-being. If you want to manage your energy effectively, make regular health check-ups a non-negotiable part of your routine.

3. Visualize the Right Picture

Your mind controls your body, and what you visualize can profoundly impact your physical performance. In 2016, I climbed Mount Elbrus, and during the ascent, I tricked my mind by visualizing myself walking on a flat road instead of a steep incline. By the time I reached the saddle point, I felt no fatigue. But when I saw the actual summit, my body suddenly felt the strain. The mind has an incredible ability to alter our physical experience based on what we believe.

This principle extends beyond physical challenges. If you constantly envision failure, you will feel defeated. But if you train your mind to see success, your body will follow suit. Studies on individuals with multiple personalities have shown that their physical and mental states can change drastically depending on which identity is active. What you believe shapes your reality.

4. Surround Yourself with the Right People

We often isolate ourselves when we face challenges, but surrounding yourself with those who have already solved the problems you’re grappling with can make a massive difference. 

Our brains contain mirror neurons, which allow us to mimic and internalize the behaviors, emotions, and attitudes of those around us. This is why spending time with energetic, successful individuals can elevate your own energy and mindset. I spent six months in Thailand with a friend who didn’t drink, and without even realizing it, I also stopped drinking and became more consistent in my fitness routine.

Your environment has a powerful influence on you, so make sure it’s filled with people who inspire and uplift you. Want to succeed in business? Hang out with entrepreneurs. Want to be more active? Spend time with people who value health.

5. Stay in Touch with Your Emotions

This might sound soft, but it’s crucial. Emotional awareness is not just about understanding your feelings; it’s about recognizing how they affect your decisions. After experiencing depression triggered by business failures and other personal losses, I realized that my inability to connect with my emotions had led me to that low point.

Understanding your emotions acts like an internal GPS, guiding you through life’s challenges. Without it, you can find yourself making decisions that lead to burnout, poor health, and unhappiness. Remember, emotions are not weaknesses; they are signals that guide you toward or away from certain paths.

6. Identify the Real Reasons Behind "I Can't"

When we say, “I can’t,” we often mean, “I won’t.” It’s a shield that protects us from facing fears like rejection, responsibility, or failure. 

Instead of settling for “I can’t,” ask yourself what fears or perceived benefits are keeping you stuck. Are you avoiding selling because you fear rejection? Are you stuck in a job you hate because you’re afraid of uncertainty? Breaking down the barriers behind “I can’t” will free up the energy you need to move forward.

7. Face Your Fears and Talk About Your Problems

What you avoid, you cannot change. Fear thrives in silence, and the only way to overcome it is by bringing it into the light. 

Talking openly about what scares you or where you feel stuck allows you to gain new insights, see different perspectives, and often find unexpected solutions. By avoiding these discussions, you’re only prolonging your discomfort and delaying your growth.

8. Practice Regular Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is not just about looking back on your day; it’s about understanding your behaviors, patterns, and thoughts. Keeping a journal is a powerful tool for self-awareness. Ask yourself: How did I feel today? What triggered those feelings? Am I spending my time on things that truly matter?

These questions help you course-correct and make conscious decisions that align with your long-term goals. Consistent self-reflection allows you to understand yourself better, which is the key to personal growth.

9. Stop Blaming Yourself

Self-blame is a vicious cycle that keeps you stuck. Mistakes are not a sign of failure; they’re learning opportunities. Every decision you make is the best you can do with the knowledge and resources you have at the time.

Shifting from self-blame to self-compassion will free you to try new things, make bolder moves, and grow from your experiences. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about learning and improving as you go.

Thoughts

Energy and potential are not mystical gifts reserved for a lucky few; they are cultivated through intentional actions, self-awareness, and a willingness to confront the uncomfortable truths about ourselves. The nine principles outlined here are more than just tips—they are a system. When you start paying attention to what’s happening inside and around you, you open the door to profound transformation. 

Living a fulfilled life requires you to take responsibility for your energy and mindset, surround yourself with the right influences, and continually adjust your course through reflection and conscious decision-making. Your potential is waiting to be unlocked; the question is, are you ready to take that step?

If you see yourself in any of these points and feel stuck, or if you know you’re capable of more but don’t know where to start, I invite you to take action. Book a free consultation with me, and together, we’ll pinpoint your obstacles, identify your growth areas, and create a clear strategy to get you moving toward your goals. 

Remember, no problem is truly unique, and every challenge has a solution—you just need the courage to confront it and the determination to follow through.