Setting up goals: What is an efficient motivator?

[Anderson]

Yesterday, I made a million dollars. But to make a billion, you have to create a religion. Just think about the responsibility of someone who has ten billion dollars. Money is owned by the central bank; you use it to move forward, but setting goals in terms of money isn't the way to go.

Today, let's talk about why setting goals in terms of money isn't effective. Firstly, we need to agree that setting goals solely in monetary terms is not beneficial. I've often cited an example from one of my clients who called me and asked if I'd take him on as a coaching client. When I asked if he had worked with a coach before, he said yes, but it was a bad experience because the coach misled him.

Five years ago, his coach advised him to set a goal in terms of money, so he aimed to make a million dollars. He achieved this goal yesterday, but now he has no one to celebrate with - his family left him, his friends are gone, and he has health problems due to the stress and sacrifices he made. He feels betrayed by his coach because achieving his financial goal came at the cost of his personal well-being and relationships.

Our subconscious mind doesn't process money as a motivator effectively. Whether it's 5,000, 5 million, or 5 billion, these numbers don't resonate with our deeper instincts. Money should be seen as a measure of the value you provide to others. There was an American book that suggested finding a need of millions and fulfilling it to earn a million. To earn a billion, you need to create a way of life, a new meaning—essentially, a religion. Major global brands do this by creating new meanings.

Imagine you're rowing a boat. The oar represents your skills, and the water represents money. You use money to move, but it's not the goal itself. You should set your goals on the shore, which represents your desired way of life. This could be a home by the sea, where your family and friends are happy, and you wake up to a beautiful sunrise. This vision is motivating and fulfilling.

It's crucial to remember that money isn't yours; it belongs to the central bank. You use it like water, but your goals should be grounded in what truly matters—your life, relationships, and happiness. Having too much money in your boat makes it unstable and harder to steer. Similarly, managing vast amounts of money can become a burden rather than a benefit.

There are also life currents, or flows, that we should aim to be part of. Moving against the current is exhausting and unproductive. You should find a flow that aligns with your skills and values, adding to your strength and helping you move faster. This could be a national trend, a technological wave, or an economic condition.

For instance, we are currently experiencing significant momentum, and technological advancements like artificial intelligence and virtual reality are powerful currents to navigate. Surround yourself with people who share your values and vision, as this social layer can help you change the world.

Consider joining communities, clubs and networks that align with your goals. These groups can provide support, inspiration, and opportunities to grow. For example, I've been involved in various meaningful projects and met incredible people through these networks.

Money is just a tool. Never set it as your goal. Focus on your desired outcomes, and let your subconscious mind optimize your resources to achieve them. Look at where you want to go, not at the tools you use. When you keep your eyes on the goal, everything else falls into place.

In conclusion, set meaningful goals that inspire you and align with your deeper values. Money will follow naturally when you're on the right path. Surround yourself with supportive people and immerse yourself in flows that propel you forward. This way, you'll achieve true fulfillment and success.

[Peter]

I would like to tell a story about my experience of setting up goals inspired by the narrative about the coach who said to make goals in money...

When I first started setting goals, it was all about the numbers. I had this vision—hit a certain salary by 30, land a specific job title, and collect a string of achievements that would make me look like a success on paper. I thought if I could just reach these milestones, everything would fall into place. I’d be fulfilled, happy, and at peace.

There was that one question everyone asked: Where do you see yourself in five years? The answer was always expected to be ambitious, almost scripted. I had my lines ready—confidence, drive, the whole package. I knew how to impress.

For a while, it worked. Promotions came, the paychecks grew, and I was checking off my goals one by one. But after each win, I felt an emptiness that lingered. The satisfaction I expected didn’t last. Instead, the stress grew, the late nights piled up, and I started to feel disconnected from the life I was building. I realized I was caught in the "rat race"—endlessly chasing the next big thing, convinced that the next promotion or paycheck would finally bring me the happiness I was seeking.

But as much as I wanted to step back, I knew life wasn’t black and white. It’s easy to talk about finding balance when you’re comfortable, but for most people, the need to grow, to provide, and to build a career is very real. Quitting the rat race altogether wasn’t an option - I still needed that job, I still wanted to advance. But I started to see that it wasn’t just about the numbers; it was about finding a way to balance ambition with well-being.

So, I began to shift my approach. Instead of letting the rat race dictate my life, I decided to find a middle ground. I started setting goals that didn’t just look good on paper but also felt good in my heart. That’s what people call Emotional ROI - the return you get from a goal in terms of your happiness, fulfillment, and overall well-being, rather than just financial or material gain.

I asked myself, How can I grow in my career without sacrificing my health or my relationships? It wasn’t about giving up on success; it was about redefining what success looked like. I made small changes - setting boundaries at work, making time for the people and activities that brought me joy, and choosing opportunities that aligned with my values, even if they didn’t come with the biggest paycheck. 

I realized that I could still be ambitious, still strive for more, but in a way that didn’t drain me. That balance—finding goals that delivered both tangible rewards and emotional well-being—was my new measure of success.

The balance didn’t come overnight, and it’s something I’m still working on. But I’ve learned that it’s possible to grow in your career while also nurturing the parts of life that truly matter. It’s about finding a way to keep moving forward without losing yourself in the process.

Now, when I think about where I want to be in five years, it’s not just about the title or the salary. It’s about how I want to feel—fulfilled, balanced, and at peace. It’s about finding success on my own terms, even while I keep pushing forward. Life isn’t black and white, but with a little balance and a focus on Emotional ROI, it’s possible to navigate the grey areas and find a path that truly works.

By the way, it perfectly coexist with the ideas described in this post: