I Want Nothing: A Guide to Combating Apathy

[Anderson]

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Have you ever caught yourself feeling like you don't want or expect anything? How often have you wished everyone would just leave you alone to lie in silence? Every one of us has experienced such exhaustion at least once in our lives, to the point where we didn't want anything. However, this state can persist, and we can truly lose touch with what we need.

Understanding the Condition
Sometimes, this feeling can be a symptom of a disorder, but don't panic prematurely. There are many reasons for this state, and today we will explore them.

Stress
The first reason we may not want anything is stress. Stress is the body's reaction to various external irritants or stressors. They can be perceived as threats and cause tension. Stress is not inherently harmful; in fact, it is impossible to completely eliminate it. The morning alarm, news notifications, all of these are stressors for a person. Stress becomes harmful when it turns chronic. For example, if conflicts and difficulties at work haunt us every day, such stress will negatively affect us.

Stress can lead to physical exhaustion, activating the stress system, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This results in increased blood pressure, a faster heart rate, and affects metabolism and the immune system. Prolonged periods of stress can lead to chronic fatigue, insomnia, and a higher risk of various diseases, such as anxiety and depressive disorders. Chronic stress can also lead to emotional exhaustion, characterised by prolonged feelings of fatigue, apathy, and lack of energy. A person living in a state of chronic stress feels discomfort and often wants nothing.

To get rid of chronic stress, a comprehensive approach is required. This includes lifestyle changes, stress management techniques, and professional help if needed. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Regular Physical Activity: Exercise helps reduce stress hormone levels and improve mood. This can be anything from yoga to running.
2. Healthy Diet: A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and proteins improves overall well-being and resistance to stress.
3. Sufficient Sleep: Quality sleep is crucial for reducing stress and fully recovering. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
4. Time Management: Effective time management, prioritising tasks, and setting realistic expectations can reduce stress.
5. Hobbies and Interests: Engaging in favorite activities distracts from stress and brings joy.
6. Professional Help: If stress becomes uncontrollable, a psychologist or psychotherapist can help. Each person is unique, so it is important to find the method that works best for you. Managing stress is a process that requires time and patience.

Procrastination
The next reason we may not understand our true desires and needs is procrastination. Procrastination is the behaviour where a person avoids important tasks and prefers to engage in less useful or more enjoyable activities, despite potential consequences. Procrastination is often associated with avoiding stress and discomfort, as well as problems in self-regulation, time management, and motivation.

Procrastination is often observed in people working remotely. The balance between work and personal life is harder to maintain, and as a result, work extends beyond regular hours and infiltrates all aspects of life, leading to constant stress and anxiety. To escape unpleasant feelings, a person procrastinates, putting off not only important tasks but also enjoyable ones, sometimes spending hours scrolling through social media due to high anxiety.

Dealing with procrastination can be challenging, but effective strategies exist to improve self-control and time management. Here are some of them:

1. Maintain Work-Life Balance: Work during designated hours and disconnect from work-related chats and tasks in the evening.
2. Use the Pomodoro Technique: Work for 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break. This helps maintain focus and avoid fatigue.
3. Time Management Tools: Use planners, apps, or reminders to stay organized and follow a schedule.
4. Seek Help When Needed: Recognize when you need help and delegate tasks if necessary.

Laziness
Laziness is another state where a person finds it hard to understand what they truly want, but it is more complex than it seems. Laziness is the unwillingness to engage in activities or work despite the ability to do so. It is often considered normal behavior, but it can become problematic if it leads to chronic avoidance of responsibilities or tasks.

Laziness can manifest in different ways:
- Physical Laziness: Lack of desire to engage in physical activity or work, leading to passive behavior like sitting or lying down.
- Mental Laziness: Unwillingness to learn new material, solve problems, or make decisions.
- Emotional Laziness: Avoiding emotional efforts, reducing social interactions, and neglecting personal relationships.

Laziness is not always negative; it can be a protective mechanism to avoid overexertion or stress. Often, laziness indicates what a person does not want to do, as we tend to avoid tasks we find unimportant or uninteresting. However, if laziness becomes chronic and interferes with daily life, work, or personal growth, it may indicate depressive disorders.

Depression
A severe situation where a person has no desires or interests is a depressive state. Depression is a serious mental disorder that affects mood, thinking, and behaviour. It is not just a temporary feeling of sadness or melancholy but a condition that can significantly disrupt daily life and cause substantial discomfort.

Depression is characterised by the "depressive triad," a concept in psychology that describes three key symptoms often found in depression:

1. Persistent Low Mood: A person feels down most of the time, often accompanied by negative thoughts and self-criticism.
2. Reduced Physical Activity: Any activity becomes burdensome, and the person may neglect personal hygiene due to lack of energy.
3. Decreased Cognitive Activity: People with depression often report difficulty thinking, which aptly describes the condition.

These three aspects of the depressive triad are interconnected and can reinforce each other, creating a vicious cycle of negative thinking and emotions. Breaking this cycle is often crucial in treating depression. Cognitive-behavioural therapy aims to change negative thoughts and behaviours. Other symptoms include loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable, significant weight changes, sleep problems, constant fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and thoughts of death or suicide. When lack of interest is accompanied by low mood and frequent fatigue, specialists might consider depression and refer the person to a psychiatrist for further diagnosis.

Depression can result from various factors, including genetic, biological, social, and psychological. Treatment typically involves psychotherapy, medication, or a combination of both. It is important to understand that depression is treatable, and with the right approach, most people can recover from it.

Conclusion
What's the difference between you and someone who didn't watch this video? For you, help and support are not just empty words. Let's discuss how to support those facing apathy and anxiety, how to acquire new skills.

Practical Tips
So what should you do if you categorically don't want to do anything? 

1. Check Your Rest: Make sure you are resting properly. Remember the three main rules of complete rest: absence of novelty, competition, and responsibility. Maybe your last vacation was a trip after which you needed another vacation. If so, share in the comments.

2. Take the Beck Depression Inventory: It's a quick and effective way to check for depression. If the test results show moderate to severe symptoms, consider seeking help. Addressing these symptoms early can lead to a quicker recovery. It is a widely-used diagnostic tool.

3. Look Outside: If the weather is gloomy, the lack of sunlight might be contributing to your apathy. Bright colours can help improve mood, so consider buying the brightest yellow sweater you can find.

4. Check Your Motivation: Determine if you have any reasons to do anything. Motivation can be external (environment and stimuli around us) or internal (personal reasons and values). Reflecting on your reasons can provide excellent internal motivation. How to find motivation when goals feel meaningless

5. Visit a Doctor: Depression can sometimes be caused by physical health issues like iron deficiency or vitamin D deficiency.

6. Find a Friend: Having at least one friend who is also struggling can make it easier to accept your situation. Knowing you are not alone is the first step towards returning to your usual routine. By the way, here is an interesting post I recommend you to read about How we forgot to be friends.

[Anderson]

I have couple of questions related to the post and would be glad you share your experience.

1. What are your go-to activities when you feel overwhelmed by apathy?

2. What role does social interaction play in managing your feelings of apathy?

[Olga]

I would like to share my experience with dealing with apathy through walking and reading. On days when I feel a lack of motivation and everything seems overwhelming, I find that going for a walk outdoors can be incredibly revitalising. Just the act of moving, feeling the fresh air, and observing the natural or urban landscapes around me helps reset my mental state.

Similarly, when the weather isn't inviting or I just feel like staying inside, I turn to reading. Immersing myself in a good book allows me to escape from my current stresses and engage in a different world through the stories and insights of others. Both walking and reading are simple yet powerful ways to ground myself and find peace during turbulent times.

I'm wondering what activities help you regain your sense of balance and motivation?

Answering the second question, I would like to share how connecting with friends and family has been a game-changer for me during times of apathy. Even on days when I'm not particularly enthusiastic about socializing, just a brief phone call or a quick coffee meet-up can dramatically uplift my spirits. It's comforting to be reminded that I'm not alone in my feelings. These interactions provide a much-needed boost and a reminder that support is just a conversation away. How crucial is social interaction for you when you're feeling down?

[Monk]

Whenever I’m feeling down or unmotivated, I like to go for a run or just take a walk around the neighbourhood. It really helps clear my head and lift my mood. If I’m stuck in a mental rut, I’ll scribble some thoughts in a notebook or sketch something. It’s a simple way to get my feelings out and sort them out a bit. Knocking a few easy tasks off my to-do list also gives me a quick boost and gets me back on track.

[Super]

On those days when it feels impossible to get started, I focus on really small wins. Something as simple as making my bed or tidying up my desk can make a big difference. It’s about getting that first little burst of accomplishment to kick things into gear. Once I check off one small thing, it’s usually easier to tackle the next. How about you? What tricks do you use to get moving on days when your energy is at zero?

[Anderson]

Audio version of the post (you need to be a registered member for listening)

 

The end of the year often brings a sense of fatigue and a decline in energy. It's a crucial time to discuss self-replenishment. I want to share my five methods for recharging and my reflections on each, so let's dive deeper.

Allowing Yourself to Be Low on Resources

The most important method I start with is allowing myself to be low on resources. It's essential to comfort yourself, especially when things aren't going great, when you're low on energy, or just feeling tired as the year ends. I give myself permission to be in a simple routine without overextending myself—no creation, no demands, no self-coercion. When I lack resources, I allow myself to just be; I might wander around the city, enjoy a hot tea, and think personal thoughts. This works because it's about accepting that it's okay not to be okay. Recognizing that you are not your own enemy and that you see and help yourself even in down times helps you return to your safe point from which you might have strayed.

Trying New Things

Once you start feeling a bit recharged, even if it's just 5% or 20%, it's vital to take care of yourself, which can boost your energy significantly. This might involve getting a massage or a manicure, which can provide confidence and a sense of well-being. My advice here is to try something new in your personal or professional life. This is crucial because freshness, like a new colleague who brings a new perspective and ideas, can reinvigorate your environment. I suggest adding something novel to your routine; it could be a mini-project or a new collaboration. For instance, I added a strategic session to my projects, where I discussed the integration and direction of my projects over tea, which sparked new development ideas.

Daily Exploration of New Activities

I also advocate for trying new things in your daily activities. Just yesterday, I tried pottery for the first time. It was fascinating how quickly time flew as I shaped a piece of clay into a bowl or a plate. My husband tried making a vase, and the experience was incredibly refreshing and meditative. It's a wonderful form of meditation and a fresh experience that recharges your brain. I highly encourage you to try something new at least once a week, whether it's a new food item or a new craft like pottery. This new experience can bring new energy.

Paying Attention to Your Body

The fourth point involves paying attention to your body. After refreshing your activities and pampering yourself, it's important to turn inward and check on your physical state. Notice any pain, tension, or tiredness in your body and do something beneficial for it, like starting a yoga challenge or committing to a series of massages if you have leg pain. Taking care of your body is not just about alleviating pain but about showing love and respect to it, which in turn gives you more energy and warmth.

Allowing Yourself to Love and Be Loved

Finally, allow yourself to love and be loved, even when you're low on resources. Permit yourself to rest deeply, to be imperfect, and to relax without the pressure to achieve or be productive. Embrace the affection of your loved ones, allowing yourself to be supported and cared for during your low phases. This acceptance can significantly recharge your energy and reinforce your self-worth.

Conclusion

As the year ends, it's natural to feel a dip in energy after a challenging year. It's important to recognize that life has its ups and downs—times of high energy and low energy. I hope you enjoyed this home video where we discussed these personal strategies in a relaxed setting. If this video resonated with you, please let me know in the comments, leave a like, or just send a heart. Your feedback is valuable and appreciated. Also, please share your thoughts on when and how often you would like to see videos. What's the ideal schedule for you?