Marriage and Calories | How Relationships Influence Weight Gain

[Anderson]

Living together isn't just about sharing joys; it's also about sharing calories.

I recently came across a fascinating study that explores the connection between relationship milestones and changes in a person’s weight. The article is so insightful and relevant that I felt compelled to share its key findings with you. It delves into how life events like marriage and divorce affect our weight and Body Mass Index (BMI). 

What Happens to Our Weight When We Get Married?

One of the standout findings from the research is that many people experience weight gain after getting married. This is influenced by several factors:

1. Shifting Priorities: When someone gets married, their priorities often change. Family obligations, spending time together, caring for the partner, and possibly children become more important. As a result, time spent on exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle tends to decrease. When free time and energy are devoted to the family, fitness often takes a back seat.

2. Changed Eating Habits: Living with a partner significantly alters our eating habits. Couples tend to cook and eat together more often, making shared meals like dinners and breakfasts an integral part of family life. However, these meals are not always healthy or balanced. Shared snacks, dining out, and indulging in desserts while watching TV add extra calories. Moreover, according to research, partners often adjust to each other’s eating habits. For instance, if one partner prefers hearty and calorie-dense meals, the other might start eating more to keep up, which is especially common for women who might adopt their husband's higher-calorie habits.

3. Emotional Stability: Marriage typically brings a sense of stability and security. We feel comfortable in our relationship and worry less about our appearance. While this is beneficial for emotional health, it can lead to a decrease in motivation to maintain a healthy weight.

How Were These Causes Identified?

Researchers sought to understand how weight changes after marriage and the timeline for these changes. They observed a group of over 10,000 people over several years. These individuals were surveyed about their weight, marital status, physical activity, and eating habits at different stages of life. The participants regularly filled out questionnaires where they recorded their weight and provided information about their family circumstances, such as marriage, divorce, or the birth of children.

Key Findings

The results showed that the first few years after marriage are indeed associated with weight gain, with the most significant changes occurring within the first two years. Interestingly, the study found that women tended to gain more weight than men, and this process was often accompanied by decreased physical activity and increased calorie intake.

An intriguing detail from the research was that couples who spent a lot of time together eating or cooking gained more weight than those who maintained more individual eating routines. This supports the idea that shared eating habits in marriage play a significant role in weight gain.

Weight gain after marriage is not simply the result of one aspect of life changing; it’s a complex phenomenon influenced by various factors, such as shared eating habits, lifestyle changes, and psychological comfort. Studies like this help us better understand what affects our weight in such situations and how we can manage these changes. Understanding these mechanisms allows us to be more mindful of our health and take steps to avoid negative consequences for our body and overall well-being.

My Takeaways and Advice for Avoiding Unhealthy Partner Habits

We all know how easy it is to adopt our partner’s eating habits, especially if they involve favorite (but not always healthy) dishes. It’s important to remember that your habits are your choice, and by keeping them healthy, you not only take care of yourself but can also inspire your partner to follow your lead. Here are some recommendations to resist temptation and encourage your spouse to adopt healthier eating habits:

1. Respect Your Boundaries: It’s important to stick to your habits. If you prefer healthy food, don’t hesitate to communicate that. Let your partner understand that this is not just a whim, but a commitment to health. After all, each of you has the right to your preferences.

2. Make Healthy Food Tasty and Appealing: Show your partner that healthy food can be both nutritious and delicious! Experiment with recipes, add more vegetables, spices, and herbs. Invite your spouse to a cooking evening where you both prepare something new together. This not only strengthens your relationship but also demonstrates that healthy food can be exciting and tasty.

   - Tip: Try organizing a cooking night where you prepare a meal together. You can suggest a healthy recipe for your partner to choose, and then cook it together. This will not only strengthen your bond but also give your spouse a new perspective on healthy eating.

3. Lead by Example: Actions speak louder than words. If your partner sees that you’re feeling great and looking amazing because of your healthy eating habits, they’re more likely to want to follow your example. Don’t push your views, just demonstrate how healthy eating positively impacts your life.

4. Create Positive Associations: Offer your partner healthy alternatives to their favorite dishes. For example, instead of fried potatoes, try baked vegetables; instead of store-bought sweets, offer fruits with yogurt. The key is not to criticize but gently suggest substitutes.

5. Plan Menus Together: Planning the week’s menu together is a great way to find a compromise. Discuss what will be healthy and tasty for both of you and create a shopping list together. This way, your partner will feel involved and heard.

6. Agree on a "Cheat Day": There’s no need to completely give up favorite dishes. Agree that one day a week will be your "cheat day," where you both can indulge in something less healthy. This helps prevent the feeling that healthy eating is all about restrictions.

7. Support Each Other: Changing habits is a slow process. Support your partner in their efforts towards healthy eating, don’t pressure or criticize them. Praise each step they take towards better health.

Encouraging your partner to embrace healthy eating is possible with respect and patience. Respect your boundaries, cook delicious and nutritious meals, lead by example, and support each other on this journey. After all, caring about your health is caring about the quality of your life together. Good luck on this journey!

Final Thoughts:

This topic touches on a significant aspect of relationships that’s often overlooked. The research highlights the importance of awareness and intentionality in how we approach our health, especially when living with a partner. While it's natural to relax a bit when you feel secure in a relationship, it's crucial to maintain a balance that prioritizes both emotional and physical well-being. The key takeaway here is that shared habits can shape our health outcomes, for better or worse. By staying mindful and supportive, couples can navigate these changes together, fostering not just a healthy relationship, but a healthy life as well.

[Anri]

So insightful! 
In my experience, I have noticed that being married has profoundly influenced my approach to health and wellness. 
I have been married for 5 years and my daily routine is so intertwined with my husband’s.

With our busy lifestyles we didn't prioritise healthy eating until it started affecting our weight... We had to make the change! Cooking healthy meals together has not only made mealtime more enjoyable but also kept us both accountable. We also now love the occasional hikes and try to walk our dog on a daily basis. We even at one stage created motivational playlists for home workouts but I must admit, our “motivational” playlist often included some questionable dance moves!
I think the most important thing is to really just support one another. There is a saying that says “where the one is weak the other is strong” so when he doesn't feel like it it's up to me to be the optimistic one.

I really strongly believe that open communication and support is the ultimate ingredient to a healthy, happy marriage!
 

[Anderson]

Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to hear how you and your husband have navigated these changes together. It sounds like you've found a great balance by making healthy living a joint effort, which is such a powerful way to strengthen both your relationship and your well-being. Cooking together, enjoying hikes, and even those playful home workout sessions—these are all fantastic ways to stay connected and motivated.

I completely agree with you on the importance of support and communication. When both partners are invested in each other’s well-being, it creates a positive cycle where one person's motivation can uplift the other. It’s also wonderful how you’ve embraced the idea of taking turns being the optimistic one—it really highlights the teamwork aspect of a healthy relationship.

Keep up the great work, and keep enjoying those questionable dance moves—sometimes they’re the best kind of motivation!

[Peter]

I’ve seen the opposite happen in some relationships where fast food became a quick fix for both time constraints and the need for a dopamine boost, especially during stressful periods.

One couple I know fell into the habit of grabbing fast food on their way home from work. It was an easy way to relax after a long day—no cooking, no dishes, just quick satisfaction. The problem was that it became their go-to solution for stress, comfort, and even celebration. Over time, this habit led to weight gain and health issues for both of them, but it also created a cycle that was hard to break. The fast food gave them an instant dopamine hit, but it left them feeling sluggish and even more stressed later.

The weight gain and lack of energy have led to a cycle of feeling bad about themselves, which then drives them to seek more comfort in food. They’ve talked about making changes, but the convenience and the temporary relief that fast food provides keep pulling them back. It’s become a point of tension between them because they both know it’s an issue, but they struggle to find the motivation and time to make a lasting change.