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Super

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  1. I receive letters from people, often with bizarre and desperate appeals. One such letter I got today, and it said something like this: “You often say you don't know what the brain is, how it functions, or what consciousness is. I have 168 definitions of consciousness for you; study them carefully before you die.” I often get these letters, particularly from engineers. They all seem to think they have cracked the mysteries of the mind, while the truth is that even the greatest scientists are still grasping at the edges of this profound enigma. Consciousness, as a concept, has always been shrouded in mystery, and our understanding remains incomplete. Throughout history, humans have tried to create ever more complex mechanisms to understand and simulate the world around them. Take, for example, the book wheel, an invention from centuries ago designed to allow scholars to read multiple texts simultaneously. It’s fascinating to think of how this medieval technology was a window into the vast expanse of knowledge available even back then. These inventions are often seen as extraordinary, not because they are inherently complex but because they broke new ground in human understanding. I often wonder about the simpler, seemingly mundane inventions that profoundly shaped human civilization—things like the spoon, the needle, or the knife. These everyday items were revolutionary at their inception, and they were crucial to the development of our culture and society. Leonardo da Vinci might have invented complex machines, but it’s these simple tools that represent the most significant leaps in human mental evolution. Our brain, with its complex structure and capacity for creativity, drives these innovations. However, creativity is not solely a human trait. For instance, certain animals, like crows, demonstrate remarkable problem-solving abilities. These birds have been observed using tools to raise the water level in a container to drink—a behavior akin to Archimedes’ principle, showing that the spark of invention is not uniquely human. Consider how our brain engages in activities like dance, which requires an intricate coordination of limbs, balance, and timing, all governed by a complex neural network. This coordination is not just physical but also deeply cognitive, involving nearly every region of the brain. Dancers defy gravity with movements that seem to break the natural laws of physics. It’s not just physical strength; it's a symphony of the brain’s control over the body. Art, too, showcases the remarkable capabilities of the human brain. I once attended a modern ballet performance in Oslo, led by a Czech choreographer renowned for his groundbreaking work. The dancers moved in ways that seemed impossible, defying gravity and twisting their bodies into shapes that were both beautiful and surreal. It felt as if they had reached the limits of what the human body could achieve. Moments like these remind us of how far human evolution, both physical and mental, has come. Art isn't just a frivolous pastime; it’s a vital part of human culture that influences our reality, sometimes more than the real world itself. It creates second realities, as described by Yuri Lotman. Art doesn't just depict life; it often precedes and shapes it. Before Turgenev wrote about his delicate heroines, they didn't exist. Art invents, and then life follows. Our relationship with art and creativity speaks to a deep, inherent need to explore and define new realms of existence. The brain is not just a tool for survival; it’s a canvas for imagination. This drive to create second realities, whether through literature, dance, or visual arts, sets humans apart from other species. Interestingly, the creative process is not only about making things but also involves a state of mind known as "flow." In this state, artists, scientists, and thinkers often find themselves deeply immersed in their work, losing track of time and external concerns. This mental state is not something that can be planned; it emerges when the brain is allowed to wander and explore without the constraints of rigid schedules or predefined goals. Creative minds often face unique challenges, including mental health issues. The same neural complexity that enables genius can also predispose individuals to depression, anxiety, and other psychological struggles. The connection between creativity and mental illness has been observed throughout history, from the tortured genius of Van Gogh to modern-day artists and scientists. It’s a double-edged sword that cuts both ways, driving incredible achievements but also carrying a heavy emotional toll. One particularly troubling notion that has emerged in modern neuroscience is the idea of identifying criminal tendencies or other behavioral traits purely through brain scans. While there are areas of the brain that correlate with certain behaviors, this approach risks undermining fundamental human rights, such as the presumption of innocence. The mind cannot be reduced to just neural circuits; it’s shaped by experience, environment, and choices. The truth is, our brains are far more adaptable and plastic than previously thought. They can change, grow, and rewire themselves in response to new experiences and challenges, even in older age. This neuroplasticity is what allows us to keep learning and adapting throughout our lives. Thoughts: This exploration of consciousness, creativity, and the human brain highlights the incredible complexity and potential within all of us. Our brains are not just organs; they are the epicenters of our reality, constantly shaping and reshaping our understanding of the world. The drive to create and innovate is deeply embedded in us, not just for survival but for the joy of discovery, the challenge of solving the unknown, and the thrill of creating something that never existed before. However, with this potential comes the responsibility to use it wisely. The push to categorize, label, or even predict human behavior through neuroscience can be both enlightening and dangerous if misapplied. The brain is not just a collection of neurons; it’s the seat of our humanity, filled with contradictions, mysteries, and untapped possibilities. It reminds us that being human means constantly pushing the boundaries of what we know and embracing the journey of discovery, no matter how uncertain or complex it may be. I also recommend you to read an interesting post
  2. Talent vs. Skills: Why Building Skills is the Real Game-Changer Talent can give you a head start, but skills are what carry you across the finish line. Skills are learnable, adaptable, and yours to grow. Unlike talent, which feels like a gift, skills are something you actively build. I used to struggle with public speaking, but instead of accepting I wasn’t “talented” at it, I joined a local group and practiced. Today, it’s one of my strengths—not because of talent, but because of deliberate skill-building. 👉 New Idea: Identify one skill you’d like to improve and commit to practicing it for a set period - say, 30 days. Watch how quickly skills develop when you shift focus from talent to consistent effort.
  3. Ever feel guilty when you’re not working, even when you know you need a break? I used to push through exhaustion, thinking that more hours meant more productivity. But the reality? My work quality plummeted, and burnout wasn’t far behind. It took a while to accept that rest isn’t a reward—it’s a necessity. Now, I schedule breaks just like any other task. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, a quick stretch, or simply sitting quietly with my thoughts, these moments recharge me and make my work time so much more effective. 👉 Insight: Next time you’re feeling drained, step away—even if just for a few minutes. Your brain (and your productivity) will thank you. Rest is productive, too. Great reading about a choice between Life or Work?
  4. Finding a balanced approach to nutrition goes beyond simply eating to satisfy hunger; it's about nurturing your mind and body with foods that support your overall well-being. Unlike high-sugar or processed foods that send your brain on a roller coaster of dopamine spikes and crashes, certain foods can promote a natural, steady production of dopamine—helping you feel good without the downsides. The Science of Natural Dopamine Production Dopamine, the "feel-good" neurotransmitter, is synthesized in the brain from the amino acid tyrosine, or its intermediate form, levodopa. While it’s easy to assume that loading up on tyrosine-rich foods would do the trick, it’s not just about quantity—the quality and type of food matter significantly. Many animal-based proteins, though high in tyrosine, also contain over 20 other amino acids that compete to cross the blood-brain barrier, effectively blocking tyrosine from being absorbed as efficiently as we might hope. This is where carbohydrates come into play. Carbohydrate-rich foods, especially those paired with high tyrosine content, can help direct tyrosine straight to where it's needed in the brain, enhancing dopamine synthesis. Additionally, insoluble fiber found in these foods helps elevate levodopa levels, providing a more stable and sustained dopamine response. What to Eat for Natural Mood Boosts To naturally enhance dopamine and levodopa levels, aim to fill your plate with vibrant fruits, fresh vegetables, berries bursting with color, leafy greens, and nutrient-dense seeds. Each of these foods not only feeds your body but also supports your mental health in profound ways. For example, berries are rich in antioxidants that fight oxidative stress, leafy greens are packed with folate that supports brain function, and seeds like pumpkin seeds are excellent sources of magnesium, which plays a role in mood regulation. Studies consistently show that diets rich in these plant-based foods positively impact mental health. In fact, research involving 80,000 participants in the UK found that people who consumed more plant-based foods reported significantly higher levels of happiness, regardless of factors like income, job, or where they lived. In simple terms, the more fruits and vegetables you eat, the more likely you are to feel joy in your daily life. Additional Brain-Boosting Foods and Supplements Adding a few strategic foods and supplements can further elevate your mental wellness. For instance, Lion’s Mane mushroom, a natural supplement, has been found to improve cognitive functions like memory, concentration, and learning ability, making it a great addition for those seeking to enhance their brainpower. It's not just about what you eat; it's about how these foods can empower you mentally and emotionally. Fruits and vegetables are also powerhouses of antioxidants and vitamins, like Vitamin C, which has been linked to improved mood and reduced anxiety. But the benefits go beyond just feeling good. The percentage of plant-based foods in your diet can also influence other traits like creativity, curiosity, optimism, and emotional calmness. Research from 2020 and 2021 backs this up, showing that those who eat more fruits and vegetables tend to be not just happier, but also more engaged and positive in their approach to life. Finding Your Balance: Avoiding Extremes While the benefits of a diet rich in fruits and vegetables are clear, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go to extremes. You don’t need to become vegetarian or vegan to experience these positive effects. I personally follow a Mediterranean-style diet, which includes a wide variety of plant-based foods, healthy fats, and lean proteins. But that doesn’t mean I don't indulge occasionally. I might enjoy a burger and a soda now and then without guilt because I know it’s all about balance. It’s not about strict rules; it’s about understanding your relationship with food and making mindful choices. If you occasionally indulge in less healthy foods, do it consciously and without remorse. Feeling guilty over food choices can create more stress and negativity than the food itself. Mindful Eating and Self-Compassion Being honest with yourself about your eating habits is more valuable than striving for perfection. Recognize your cravings and when you choose to indulge, do it mindfully, without self-blame. The reality is that being too hard on yourself for occasional slips can impact your happiness more than any "bad" food ever could. So, enjoy those moments and let them pass without judgment. My Personal Thoughts Adding more fruits and vegetables to your diet is one of the simplest, most effective ways to boost your happiness and overall health. The evidence is overwhelming, and I can personally attest to the benefits. But remember, it’s not just about what’s on your plate—it’s about your mindset. By embracing a flexible, balanced approach, you allow yourself to enjoy the best of both worlds: the physical benefits of nutritious foods and the mental freedom of not being bound by overly strict dietary rules. So, make those healthy choices often, indulge mindfully, and most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. In the end, food is not just fuel; it’s an integral part of our emotional and mental well-being. So, eat vibrant, eat balanced, and enjoy life in full colour. Personalizing the journey of healthy eating makes it not just about following guidelines but about creating a sustainable lifestyle that feels right for you. It’s refreshing to see that while science backs the benefits of fruits and vegetables, the true takeaway is the power of mindful and balanced choices. This approach emphasizes compassion over perfection, showing that happiness can coexist with indulgence as long as we’re conscious of our decisions. It's a realistic and empowering way to look at nutrition, making it accessible and enjoyable for everyone. I also recommend you to read: Role of Nutrition in Circadian Rhythms, Marriage and Calories | How Relationships influence Weight Gain, Happiness | The Truth behind Our the Biggest Lie
  5. Do you often notice the good things in life, or does negative thinking dominate your attention? Can you focus on the positive, or do you find yourself consumed by the negative? Today, we’ll dive into this topic, and as always, I have a wonderful exercise for you to help you learn how to think positively and notice the good around you. Why Positive Thinking Matters: When you train yourself to think positively, remarkable things happen. Life becomes more enjoyable, you feel happier, and you start to appreciate the small joys around you. The topic of today's discussion came to me while I was on vacation with my family. For several mornings, I swam in the sea. On the first day, the water was perfect. The next day, it was a bit cooler, and by the third day, I skipped my swim. On the fourth day, after my morning meditation, I took a dip and found the water freezing cold. As I swam, I felt a strong resistance to the cold, unable to fully relax. But once I got out, I felt an invigorating rush of energy—likely from the adrenaline pushing my blood to circulate faster. It was a great feeling, a high point of my day. However, later, our group went to the spa, a place we had been enjoying daily. But on this particular day, the spa was closed unexpectedly. I noticed myself becoming irritated, especially when the front desk couldn't explain why it was closed or when it might reopen. That’s when I realized how easy it is to start focusing on the negatives. The cold sea, the closed spa—it all started to pile up, influencing how I saw everything else, like the food at the buffet, which suddenly seemed less appealing and more repetitive. Initially, the environment had been new and exciting, filled with dopamine-boosting experiences. But once that novelty wore off, my brain shifted to a more critical mode. I caught myself in this negative spiral and recognized it as a mental trap. When life becomes routine, we tend to focus on what’s wrong rather than what’s right. It's almost as if our brains are wired to seek out negativity once the initial thrill fades. Shifting Focus to the Positive: During breakfast the next morning, I had a conversation with an elderly couple. I mentioned the cold sea, and the woman kindly pointed out, "But there’s a lovely warm pool right here, where the kids can swim." That comment snapped me back to reality, reminding me that there’s always something positive to focus on if we choose to see it. The Exercise: Here’s a simple yet powerful exercise that trains both your memory and your ability to focus on the good things in life. Every night, as you wind down from the day, either speak aloud or write down at least one positive event that happened during the day. It could be anything—big or small. As you continue this practice for a week, two weeks, or even longer, you’ll start to notice a shift in your mindset. Your memory will begin to retain more of the positive moments, and when you look back, you'll remember the good more than the bad. This exercise also helps you find the silver lining in negative situations. If something unpleasant happens, ask yourself, "What lesson does life want me to learn from this? What can I take away from this experience?" Whether it’s learning patience from a conflict or recognizing how your actions affect others, this kind of reflection turns negative moments into opportunities for growth. Over time, this daily reflection will train your brain to prioritize positive experiences. Even the most challenging days will have their bright spots, and you'll be more resilient in the face of adversity. Your focus on the good will diminish the power of negative events, helping you maintain a more balanced and joyful outlook. Why Positive Thinking Makes You Happier: When you cultivate a positive mindset, you naturally feel more content and peaceful. Negative thoughts tend to trigger stress, which drains your energy and leaves you feeling irritated and unhappy. This frustration can become a repetitive loop in your mind, making it hard to break free from negative patterns. But by consistently focusing on the good, you interrupt this cycle, paving the way for a more optimistic and fulfilling life. Give It a Try: I encourage you to try this exercise for a week or a month. Pay attention to how it affects your mood and outlook, and feel free to share your experiences and insights in the comments. Making positive thinking and noticing the good things a regular habit can transform your life. Final Thoughts: Positive thinking isn’t just about ignoring life’s difficulties; it’s about balancing the good with the bad and choosing to focus on what uplifts you. By training your mind to notice and appreciate the positives, you build resilience against life’s inevitable challenges. This practice doesn’t make the difficulties disappear, but it does help you navigate them with greater strength and optimism. In the end, it’s not about eliminating negativity but about ensuring that it doesn’t overshadow the many beautiful moments life has to offer.
  6. Did you know that watching porn frequently can be as harmful as smoking e-cigarettes or consuming large amounts of alcohol? While many of us are aware of the dangers, we often struggle to break free from these habits because they have become an integral part of our daily lives. The small actions you take every day have a far greater impact than a single, monumental effort. If you're reading this post, you're probably looking to change your life and become a better version of yourself. This is the beginning of your journey to self-improvement. There's a famous saying: "Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character; sow a character, and you reap a destiny." This saying highlights how habits shape our lives, and it's something we should take seriously. But here’s the thing: trying to implement all these habits at once will likely overwhelm you. Your body will resist because it's accustomed to your current routines. For example, if you suddenly switch from starting your mornings with coffee to drinking lemon water, it might cause a dissonance that leads to stress. This stress arises because our bodies crave the familiar, even if it's not the healthiest option. So, before you dive into changing your habits, here are some simple rules: Don’t try to change everything at once. Focus on one habit at a time. Avoid drastic changes. Radical shifts, like completely cutting out sugar or social media, can set you up for failure. Understand your motivation. Clearly define why you want to adopt a new habit. Without a strong reason, it's easy to give up. Another tip: start a habit tracker. It could be a simple notebook where you jot down what you’ve done each day. This is important because we often overestimate how much we actually do. For instance, I had a friend who was always stressed about her exams, convinced she was studying non-stop. But when we tracked her study hours, we found she spent more time worrying and taking breaks than actually studying. By keeping track of your actions, you get a clearer picture of your efforts and can make more informed adjustments. Next, let’s talk about managing negative emotions. Bottling up feelings like anger, resentment, or hatred is unhealthy. They won’t disappear on their own. My psychologist once taught me a helpful exercise: whenever I feel overwhelmed, I write down everything that’s bothering me. Then, I read it back and often realize it’s not as significant as it seemed. Afterward, I tear up the paper and throw it away, symbolically letting go of those negative emotions. You might have a different way of dealing with stress, but the key is to find something that works for you. And remember, if you’re struggling to cope on your own, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional. Your mental health is invaluable. if your life feels dull, monotonous, or unfulfilling, it’s a sign that you need to shake things up. This could mean trying something completely out of the ordinary, like my friend Pamela did. She started inviting old acquaintances to unusual outings, like obscure art exhibitions or theater performances. It led her to new experiences and even rekindled old connections - one of which resulted in her finding her future spouse. The lesson here is that if excitement and joy aren’t coming your way, you might need to go out and create them yourself. Another important habit is financial literacy. Always try to save a portion of your income, no matter how small. Even if it’s just 10 or 20 euros / dollars, it adds up. Having a financial cushion changes your mindset, allowing you to make decisions from a place of security rather than survival. Posts to read - Smart budgeting, What Hinders Earning Money also check the Financial Wellness Category. Let’s also talk about sleep hygiene. I used to rely on my phone’s alarm to wake up, which led to checking notifications as soon as I opened my eyes. This habit threw me into a cycle of stress right from the start of the day. I switched to a traditional alarm clock, which has made a significant difference. Now, my mornings are free from the chaos of online distractions, giving me a peaceful start to the day. Posts to read: Science of Sleep, Why Your Rest isn't Working, also check the Sleep and Relaxation Category Another beneficial habit is capturing your ideas. Whenever a thought or idea pops into your head, write it down, no matter how trivial or far-fetched it seems. This practice helps give form to your thoughts and could lead to actionable plans down the road. Post to Read: Notebook saves you from Infinite Scrolling. Lastly, let’s discuss controlling your consumption of information. Watching endless motivational videos or scrolling through social media often doesn’t lead to real change. Instead, find alternative activities that engage your mind differently. For example, I’ve replaced aimless scrolling with creating Pinterest boards. Some of my friends have taken up puzzles or started creating digital art using AI tools. The goal isn’t to cut off social media entirely but to manage your time on it better and replace passive consumption with something more fulfilling. Posts to read: Critical Thinking in the Age of Information Overload. In conclusion, instead of abruptly cutting out all bad habits, try replacing them with healthier alternatives. Going cold turkey can lead to a vicious cycle of relapse and guilt. The key is to adapt to modern life in a way that minimizes harm and maximizes enjoyment. Final Thoughts: This advice is very practical and aligns well with common challenges people face when trying to improve their lives. It’s crucial to approach self-improvement with patience and self-compassion. The idea of gradually incorporating new habits, rather than attempting drastic overhauls, is particularly valuable. Sustainable change is built on small, consistent actions, and the suggestions here provide a realistic path forward. I also appreciate the emphasis on mental health and the encouragement to seek professional help if needed. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to do it all alone - support is available, and it’s okay to ask for it.
  7. Customizing Your Budget: Moving Beyond One-Size-Fits-All Approaches A few years ago, my family and I decided it was time to get serious about our finances. We were tired of feeling like our money was slipping through our fingers by the end of each month, so I turned to what seemed like the most logical solution: the 50-30-20 rule. It sounded simple—50% for necessities, 30% for discretionary spending, and 20% for savings. We thought, “Finally, a straightforward way to take control of our budget!” But as we started applying the rule, reality hit us. We quickly realized that while the 50-30-20 rule looked good on paper, it didn’t exactly fit our life. Let me explain. My spouse and I both work full-time, and we have two young kids. Like many families, our biggest expense was housing—our mortgage, utilities, and insurance easily ate up more than 50% of our combined income. Add to that childcare costs, which aren’t exactly optional, and we were already stretching the definition of “necessities” beyond that 50% limit. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves frustrated and anxious, wondering if we were doing something wrong. The truth is, our situation isn’t unique. Many families face similar challenges—high housing costs, growing families, and unexpected expenses like medical bills or car repairs that throw the neat percentages of the 50-30-20 rule out the window. It became clear that we needed a different approach, one that reflected our specific needs and goals rather than a one-size-fits-all formula. So, we decided to take a step back and really examine our finances. Here’s how we customized our budget to better fit our life: Step 1: Analyse Your Income and Expenses The first thing we did was sit down together and take a hard look at our income and expenses over the past few months. We listed out our combined income, including salaries and any other sources of money like bonuses or tax refunds. Then, we categorized our expenses into three main buckets: fixed, variable, and irregular. - Fixed Expenses: These were the costs that didn’t change much month to month—our mortgage, utilities, insurance, and daycare fees. This gave us a clear picture of what our non-negotiable expenses were. - Variable Expenses: These included things like groceries, gas, and entertainment—expenses that fluctuated but were still necessary. - Irregular Expenses: Finally, we looked at things that didn’t occur every month but still needed to be planned for, like car maintenance, holiday gifts, or medical bills. Step 2: Prioritise and Customize Once we had a clear picture of where our money was going, we started prioritizing. We knew that housing, utilities, and childcare were essential, so we allocated a larger percentage of our income to these categories than the 50% the rule suggested. It meant we had to be more conscious of our discretionary spending, but we were okay with that—after all, those essentials kept our household running smoothly. Next, we looked at our savings. We wanted to build an emergency fund and save for a family vacation, so we decided to allocate a bit more to savings than the standard 20%. We set up automatic transfers to our savings account right after payday, so we weren’t tempted to spend that money elsewhere. We also made room for adjustments. We realized that some months were naturally more expensive, like when the kids started school or during the holiday season. We gave ourselves flexibility by setting aside a small buffer each month to cover these costs, rather than sticking rigidly to the rule. Step 3: Track and Adjust Regularly With our new budget in place, we began tracking our spending more closely. We used a simple spreadsheet to monitor how much we were spending in each category and made adjustments as needed. For example, we noticed that we were overspending on groceries because we weren’t meal planning effectively, so we worked on cutting back by creating a weekly meal plan and sticking to a shopping list. We also reviewed our budget monthly to see if it still made sense. If we had an unexpected expense, like a medical bill, we adjusted our discretionary spending for the month to accommodate it. Over time, this regular check-in became a habit, and it helped us stay on track without feeling stressed or restricted. Step 4: Focus on What Matters Most In the end, the biggest lesson we learned was that budgeting isn’t about fitting into a predetermined mold—it’s about making your money work for you and your family’s needs. We let go of the pressure to stick to a rule that didn’t fit and instead created a budget that reflected our life. We prioritized what mattered most to us: keeping a roof over our heads, ensuring our kids were taken care of, and building a safety net for the future.
  8. For a long time, I believed that more was the answer to everything. More money, more possessions, more accomplishments—if I could just accumulate enough, I thought, I’d finally feel secure, successful, and happy. It seemed simple: the more you have, the better off you are, right? But as I chased after more, I noticed something unsettling. With each new thing I acquired—whether it was a bigger paycheck, the latest gadget, or another line added to my resume—the sense of satisfaction I expected didn’t come. Instead, I felt weighed down. My life became cluttered, not just with things, but with responsibilities, commitments, and expectations that I couldn’t seem to escape. There’s a myth we’re all taught to believe in—the idea that if we just get more, we’ll be happier. But the truth is, the pursuit of more often leads to diminishing returns. Each new thing brings a temporary high, but it fades quickly, leaving us wanting the next big thing. And in that endless cycle, we lose sight of what truly matters. I realized I was living in a constant state of ‘not enough.’ No matter what I achieved or acquired, it never felt like it was sufficient. I was always looking for the next thing, convinced it would finally bring the contentment I was seeking. But all I was doing was piling on more stress, more clutter, more distractions from the things that actually brought me joy. That’s when I started to embrace the idea that maybe, just maybe, less could be more. It wasn’t an easy shift to make. We’re conditioned to think that cutting back or simplifying is somehow a sign of failure or giving up. But what if, instead of chasing after more, I focused on pursuing enough? Enough to meet my needs, enough to feel secure, enough to enjoy life without the constant pressure to keep accumulating. I started to let go. I decluttered not just my physical space, but my mental space as well. I began saying no to things that didn’t align with what truly mattered to me, even if they seemed like opportunities on the surface. I simplified my financial goals, focusing less on the numbers and more on what those numbers represented—freedom, security, and the ability to spend time on what I loved. As I embraced this mindset, something unexpected happened: I felt lighter. By shedding the excess, I created more space in my life for the things that brought me genuine joy—time with loved ones, creative pursuits, and simple moments of peace. I found that by pursuing enough, rather than more, I actually gained more of what truly mattered. The myth of more had kept me trapped in a cycle of never-ending pursuit, but minimalism in my goals—financial and otherwise—gave me a new kind of richness. It amplified my sense of freedom and satisfaction, not because I had more, but because I finally had enough. Now, when I think about my life, I ask myself not how much more I can get, but what I can let go of. How can I simplify, focus, and create more space for joy and fulfillment? It’s not about settling; it’s about understanding that true wealth isn’t measured by how much you have, but by how much you enjoy what you have. So, what would your life look like if you pursued enough instead of more? What could you let go of to create more space for the things that truly bring you joy and fulfillment? Sometimes, less isn’t just more—it’s everything.
  9. @Anderson Looking back at your routine, it's incredibly structured and productive, but it also seems to leave little room for spontaneity, personal connections, or even just moments of relaxation. It’s impressive how much you can accomplish, but at what cost? If this routine leads to burnout, anxiety, or a sense of unfulfilled achievements, it might be worth reassessing whether this level of productivity is truly serving you. How do you feel about the balance in your life? Are there areas where you might be able to ease up on the pressure and allow yourself more time to recharge, connect with others, or simply enjoy the present moment? This conversation about the cult of productivity isn't just theoretical; it's personal. It’s about understanding the fine line between using productivity as a tool for growth and allowing it to become a trap that hinders your overall well-being.
  10. I’m not talking about the "cliché" desires society might impose on you, like becoming a businessperson, having a perfect body, buying a house, or starting a family. If these goals genuinely ignite your passion, that's great. But what if deep down, you're yearning for something else entirely? If you've forgotten what your soul truly desires, my experiences might be of use to you. Realizing I Didn’t Know What I Wanted I never really asked myself this question. I always seemed to want something—food, sleep, finishing a project quickly, going to the sea, buying a better car and a nice house, a washer-dryer, earning lots of money so my family wouldn't need anything. My list of wants was endless! So, when people told me I wasn’t proactive or didn’t know what I wanted, it really hit me hard. I considered myself an entrepreneur, full of initiative, always ahead, coming up with where to go and why. But, to be honest (and this is painful to admit), the results were disappointing. Not disastrous—life went on, money was made, my family was provided for—but I felt out of place, like I was living in a box, doing things out of necessity rather than desire. Yet, I didn’t realize this at the time and defended my position. The Turning Point Around the age of 30, I started to ponder these thoughts. It’s a milestone when you think you should have achieved something significant. But as the date approached, everything seemed different from what I had imagined. What did I actually want, and why? It's easier to brush off these thoughts until you hit a dead end. Sometimes it takes reaching a breaking point to realize the need for change. I had been seeing a psychologist to deal with my feelings and self-reflection. These sessions were meant to help me talk through my sadness and overthinking, and get back into my work rhythm. After one such session, I shared my depressing thoughts with a colleague. I told him I was building my life not based on my desires but on the needs of my family, clients, the opinions of loved ones, and rational thinking. My colleague asked me, “What are you going to do about it?” This question caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready to answer and said, “Nothing,” which was true. “Why?” he asked. “Because I’m afraid of ruining everything I’ve built. If I do what I want, I’ll break everything and quarrel with everyone.” Acceptance and Letting Go This conversation impacted me more than the therapy session. There, I was just thinking out loud; here, I admitted something to myself. After such a realization, it’s hard to do nothing. I was already feeling down, and this sent me into a tailspin. But interestingly, I didn’t stay in this paralyzed state for long. There was a deep relief in this realization, and I decided to let go. Decision #1: Relax and Allow Everything to Fall Apart I allowed things to fall apart rather than actively destroying them. If something fell away, it was meant to be. I would just observe. Initially, this happened in a state of apathy; I wasn’t consciously admitting anything to myself. I was searching for what I wanted but couldn’t find a response. Now, I would say I wasn’t hearing my inner voice. Decision #2: Allow Myself to Do Nothing Admitting to my apathy also helped me relax and stop the constant busyness and overthinking. I gave myself permission to just be. For the next month and a half, I slept a lot, did nothing new, and worked minimally. I lived like a vegetable, but I enjoyed not worrying about anything. My work progressed smoothly; I set a goal to work 2-3 hours a day since I needed money for food. This regime turned out to be productive. I wasn’t tired and worked quickly. I stopped worrying if clients would leave and started speaking my mind honestly. This detached state made interactions easier and helped prioritize properly. I could easily tell a client if they were wrong and suggest they find another contractor if necessary. I was ready for everything to collapse, to lose money—it didn’t matter. This approach brought firmness to my decisions, not subservience. Discovering True Desires In my free time, I experimented. I walked alone, met old friends, and watched automotive videos on YouTube. I found joy in videos where people tinkered with cars, restored them, and drove them through forests. I couldn’t imagine myself doing it—it seemed irrational and even foolish. But there was something magical and heartfelt about it. So I thought, why not? I found a way, planned everything, earned the resources (without borrowing), and bought an old Jeep. It was fulfilling and still energizes me. This irrational but rewarding decision led to: Decision #3: Allow Myself to Act Irrationally Even if no one supports you and society or logic says otherwise, allow yourself to act on what feels right. Often, we reject our genuine desires in favor of practicality and external opinions. For instance, I once chose practical gray sneakers over the blue ones I loved because they matched more clothes. I never wore them—they just sat on the shelf. There are many such examples in my life—taking on projects for money, meeting people I didn’t like. These decisions always backfired. If you want something that others consider foolish, remember they don’t know what’s best for you. It can inspire and energize you. I’m not advocating wasting resources; I carefully planned my purchase and knew what I wanted to do with it. Giving Yourself Time The experiences I described taught me valuable lessons, but it’s too early to say my life has changed completely. The detached state helps me live more fully, hear myself, and move in the desired direction. But I still sometimes revert to old habits, rush through work, and do unnecessary things. Recognizing what I don’t want has become clearer as I think more about what I do want. This led to: Decision #4: Give Yourself Time Rushing causes me to lose control and react automatically. Without haste, I can maintain calm, analyze situations, catch reactions, and make different decisions. Many moments in life pressure you to hurry, but I’ve decided to let things fall apart, so I have time to think. This doesn’t mean selfishly delaying work; it means avoiding automatic decisions based on others’ opinions. Overcoming External Motivation Continuing to work with my psychologist, I recalled past struggles with motivation. Anger from my tough upbringing motivated me to work hard and escape that environment. But once I achieved my goals, I faced apathy. The psychologist told me that anger had fueled me, and I needed new motivation. I didn’t listen and dealt with it differently. I took on more projects than my agency could handle, missed deadlines, and dealt with unhappy clients. This tension created a sense of drive. Now, I understand I was creating a motivational environment. I lived like this for a while, and when I sorted things out, I felt uncomfortable and sought more problems. Pressure from clients kept me on my toes. If I eased off, I turned to other projects where clients were more demanding. Understanding how external motivation drives people led me to: Decision #5: Make Decisions Independently I realized I often relied on others’ opinions instead of my own judgment. Seeking advice from experienced people and partners is good, but it’s crucial to analyze deeply. I used to think, “This person is smarter, I’ll do as they say.” This approach shaped my life but removed my responsibility. Like parents making decisions for you, I relied on others’ wisdom. Now, I’ll make decisions myself, determine what to do and how independently. Embracing Loneliness Getting rid of external influences created a sense of loneliness. Clients no longer pressured me; I tried to catch external motivation. I rented a personal office near home. It was a deliberate choice; my previous workspace was home, noisy and distracting. The first week alone was tough, with emotional ups and downs. I couldn’t sit still, wanted to leave, and grabbed tasks only to abandon them. Social media was a frequent distraction. In my next therapy session, I realized this new environment required new tools, customized for me. This phase was about building supportive structures for comfortable existence. Do I Know What I Truly Want Now? Yes and no. The process dismantled a whole system of values and habits, reliant on the external world. What remains is a sense of intuition, making better choices in the moment. This could lead to a path aligned with your true desires. But a more complete system of values and goals is needed for full progress. Answering "what do I want?" in different life areas and forming a clear path supported by habits is essential. Reflection A year after making these decisions, I realize maintaining this state requires effort. Taking ready-made solutions is easier, while forming your ideas is hard. You need to study more, gather information, and analyze deeply. Breaking old habits requires creating new supports, or you quickly revert. Having an external perspective, like a psychologist or mentor, is crucial but shouldn’t be overly relied on. Accepting responsibility for decisions increases. Knowing what you want doesn’t mean moving towards it easily; the path might be difficult, and you must be ready to pay the price. Listening to yourself significantly boosts effectiveness. We often seek easy answers, but they don’t exist. Instead of a quick fix, you get tools to work with. Embrace solitude and seek mentors as tools to navigate this journey. If this resonates, I’ll write a follow-up to explore these topics further. Final Thoughts This journey of self-discovery and acceptance highlights the importance of listening to our inner desires rather than succumbing to external pressures and rationalizations. It’s a continuous process that involves breaking old habits, creating new supports, and taking responsibility for our decisions. Understanding what truly makes us happy requires time, patience, and sometimes the courage to act irrationally in the eyes of others. As we navigate this path, finding the right balance between external influences and our inner voice is crucial for genuine fulfillment and progress.
  11. Understanding Chronotypes and Personalized Schedules Learning about chronotypes was eye-opening for me. The concept, popularized by Dr. Michael Breus in his book "The Power of When," categorizes people into different types based on their natural sleep-wake cycles: morning larks, night owls, and others. Learning about my chronotype helped me to connect my daily schedule to my natural energy levels, enhancing my productivity and reducing stress. Dr. Breus’s work and other research on chronotypes have been widely adopted by professionals looking to optimize their performance. This approach is used in various fields, from education to business, where understanding an individual's peak performance times can lead to better outcomes. For more details, you can visit Dr. Breus’s website, read his book, or explore research articles on chronobiology in journals like "Sleep Medicine Reviews."
  12. Oh man, I totally get you! The guilt can be real. What helps me is setting clear boundaries. I’ve told my team when I’m off the clock, I’m really off the clock. No emails, no work chat, even no Facebook, TikTok and other social media. It took some time, but now they respect it. I also try to remind myself that taking breaks makes me more effective when I’m back. And honestly, I love treating myself to a good movie or some ice cream during my downtime. It makes the rest feel worth it.
  13. Today, I want to dive into something incredibly powerful yet often overlooked: the art of asking questions. This skill isn’t just about getting answers; it’s about opening doors to deeper knowledge, better understanding, and more meaningful connections. So, let's explore how we can transform our questions from good to truly effective and powerful. The Purpose of Your Questions The first secret I discovered is understanding the purpose behind your questions. Ask yourself, "What do I really want to learn?" When you have a clear goal in mind, your questions become focused and precise, much like arrows aimed at a bullseye. This clarity ensures that you gather the specific information you need. I’ve found that when I know what I want to achieve, my conversations are much more productive and rewarding. Embrace the Power of Open-ended Questions One of the most transformative shifts in my communication style was moving from closed-ended to open-ended questions. Instead of asking questions that lead to a simple "yes" or "no" response, I began crafting questions that encourage more elaborate answers. For instance, rather than asking, "Did you enjoy your trip?" I now ask, "What was the highlight of your trip?" This subtle change invites people to share more details and stories, enriching our conversations and deepening my understanding of their experiences. It has opened up new dimensions in my interactions, making them more engaging and insightful. Active Listening: The Game Changer Another critical aspect of effective questioning is how we listen to the answers. Active listening has been a transformative practice for me. It's not just about hearing words but being fully present in the conversation, showing genuine interest, and engaging with the speaker. When I practice active listening, I notice a significant improvement in my understanding of others. They feel valued and heard, which in turn strengthens our connection. This level of engagement has brought a new depth to my relationships, both personally and professionally. Additional Tips for Mastering the Art of Questioning 1. Ask Relevant Questions: Over time, I've realized that effective communication hinges on relevance. Focusing on questions that truly matter and align with my goals has made my conversations more productive. In a professional setting, for instance, I prioritize questions that help clarify project objectives or deadlines. This targeted approach ensures that the dialogue stays on track and serves a clear purpose. 2. Consider the Context: Tailoring your questions to fit the context and audience is crucial. Whether I’m in a business meeting, a classroom, or a family gathering, I adjust my questions accordingly. In a professional setting, I might ask about project timelines, while at a family dinner, I’ll inquire about everyone’s day or share a personal story. This adaptability helps avoid misunderstandings and makes the conversation more engaging and effective. 3. Cultivate Curiosity: Embracing genuine curiosity has profoundly changed the way I interact with others. Approaching each conversation with an open mind and a readiness to learn something new has broadened my perspective. This mindset not only enhances my knowledge but also shows others that I value their insights and experiences. Even if it means challenging my own views, the fresh perspectives I gain are always rewarding. Bringing It All Together Incorporating these strategies into my daily interactions has made my conversations more meaningful and productive. The art of asking questions has unlocked new levels of understanding and helped build deeper, more authentic relationships. Final Thoughts Reflecting on this journey, I’ve come to appreciate how asking the right questions can transform our interactions. It’s about more than gathering information; it’s about fostering connections, encouraging openness, and discovering insights that might otherwise remain hidden. By being purposeful, curious, and genuinely engaged, we can turn every interaction into an opportunity for growth and understanding. This skill is universally beneficial and has significantly enhanced various aspects of my life, making it a worthwhile pursuit for anyone looking to improve their communication and relationships.
  14. Have you ever felt like life is just one big chaotic mess? Like you're constantly being bombarded with information from every direction, and the pace of life just keeps speeding up? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with feeling overwhelmed, out of control, and like there’s never enough time in the day. I know I’ve been there, and it’s exhausting. But what if I told you there’s a way to manage all this chaos, to take control of your time, energy, and resources, and actually achieve your goals, despite the whirlwind around you? The secret lies in something called systems thinking, and today, I want to share with you how this approach has transformed my life and how it can do the same for you. So, what exactly is systems thinking? Imagine your life isn’t just a series of random, disconnected events. Instead, picture it as a complex system where everything is interconnected. This perspective is what systems thinking offers us. Rather than reacting to problems and tasks haphazardly, like we’re fumbling in the dark, systems thinking gives us a compass and a map. It helps us see the bigger picture, understand how actions in one part of our life affect others, and consider the long-term impact of our decisions. When I first started thinking this way, it was like a lightbulb went off. I began to see how my late nights at work were affecting my health and my relationships. It wasn’t just about being tired; it was about how my mood and interactions with loved ones suffered because I wasn’t taking care of myself. Systems thinking helped me find balance, where all areas of my life could harmoniously coexist. Balancing these different aspects of life is like walking a tightrope. We might be deeply passionate about our careers, but if we pour all our energy into work, our health and relationships can take a hit. Systems thinking helps us identify our personal priorities, allocate our resources wisely, and find compromises when needed. Think about the last time you faced a tough problem. Did you act impulsively, grabbing the first solution that came to mind? I used to do that too, until I realized that problems are often like tangled balls of yarn. Pull one thread the wrong way, and the knot just gets tighter. Systems thinking teaches us to find the root cause of issues, much like a skilled doctor diagnosing the true illness rather than just treating symptoms. This approach has led me to more effective, long-term solutions in both my personal and professional life. But systems thinking isn’t just about solving problems. It’s a whole new way of looking at the world that makes us more effective in everything we do. It helps us foresee potential threats and opportunities, evaluate the consequences of our actions, and develop contingency plans. This kind of resilience is invaluable in a world full of unexpected twists and turns. Remember that storm analogy? When life throws a storm your way, systems thinking helps you stay calm and navigate through it wisely. Planning for the long term is another crucial aspect. Without a clear plan, it’s easy to get lost in the daily grind and end up far from where we intended. Long-term planning is like having a compass and a map that guide us towards our life goals. It breaks down those big, daunting goals into manageable steps, making the path to success clearer and more achievable. For me, seeing the bigger picture and having a clear plan has been a game changer. It’s kept me motivated and focused, even when the going gets tough. Knowing exactly what I’m working towards has helped me invest my time and energy more wisely, and not give up halfway through. In our rapidly changing world, simply adapting isn’t enough. We need to be flexible, ready to change and grow, much like nature does. Those who cling to outdated methods risk getting left behind. Systems thinking helps us stay vibrant and full of life, ready to seize new opportunities. Let’s consider five key strategies for developing systems thinking: 1. Expand Your Perception: Shift from focusing solely on individual tasks to seeing how they interconnect within the larger system. Use tools like diagrams and mind maps to visualize these connections and understand the broader context. 2. Identify Interconnections and Patterns: Recognize that systems often operate in loops of cause and effect. Analyze how your actions impact the system in the long run. 3. Think Long-Term: Assess both immediate and long-term consequences of your decisions. Be proactive and adaptable, anticipating changes and acting ahead of time. 4. Continuously Learn and Grow: Stay curious and open to new ideas. Experiment, reflect on your experiences, and learn from both successes and failures. 5. Use Systems Thinking Tools: Employ tools like cause-and-effect diagrams, system dynamics, and the theory of constraints to visualize and understand the system better, and to find the most effective ways to improve it. Systems thinking isn’t just a trendy concept; it’s the key to a more conscious, effective, and harmonious life. By integrating its principles into our daily routines, we start to see hidden connections and opportunities, make more informed and forward-thinking decisions, build stronger relationships, and adapt flexibly to a changing world. Ultimately, we can live a more mindful and fulfilling life. Final Thoughts: Adopting systems thinking has been incredibly valuable in my life. It has helped me manage the complexities of modern life more effectively and achieve my goals while maintaining balance. By thinking ahead and understanding the interconnections between different areas of my life, I’ve been able to make better decisions and stay resilient in the face of challenges. Embracing systems thinking can help us not only achieve our goals but also lead a more balanced, fulfilling life.
  15. I have to admit, I'm not the biggest fan of Matthew McConaughey's brand of charisma—it feels a bit overwhelming to me. Sometimes it seems like his effortless charm and laid-back demeanor are just a bit too polished, almost as if he's playing a character rather than being genuinely himself. It can come across as if every gesture and every word is calculated for effect, which makes me question the authenticity behind his actions. Also, his style of interacting, with that ultra-relaxed, slow-speaking manner, might be appealing to some, but to me, it sometimes feels like it lacks the urgency and engagement that real-life conversations often require. It's as though he's always on a movie set, maintaining a persona that's meant more for the cameras than for genuine human interaction. Moreover, while his techniques like greeting everyone warmly and making people feel acknowledged are certainly positive, when he does it, it can come off as if he's performing. This makes me skeptical about whether these behaviors are truly heartfelt or just a well-rehearsed script. In essence, while I recognize that many people find his charisma magnetic and his social skills admirable, to me, they just don't feel as genuine or relatable as they're portrayed. It feels more like watching a character from one of his movies rather than interacting with a real person.
  16. On those days when it feels impossible to get started, I focus on really small wins. Something as simple as making my bed or tidying up my desk can make a big difference. It’s about getting that first little burst of accomplishment to kick things into gear. Once I check off one small thing, it’s usually easier to tackle the next. How about you? What tricks do you use to get moving on days when your energy is at zero?
  17. Hey everyone, Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something but consistently putting it off? You know you need to do it, you want to do it, yet something holds you back. Maybe it’s labeled as laziness or procrastination, or perhaps it just doesn’t feel right. Today, we’re diving into why we struggle to do what we really want to do and how to start taking action without delay. Here’s an interesting idea to consider: the concept of "laziness" might not really exist. Often, what we perceive as laziness is actually a sign that something deeper is at play. Perhaps we haven’t found the right motivation, or our actions aren’t aligned with our true needs. Understanding this can lighten the burden of everyday choices and help us approach our challenges with greater empathy and insight. Throughout my journey, I’ve come to understand a powerful truth: every action we take is driven by a need. Nothing we do is random; it’s all about satisfying our needs, whether consciously or subconsciously. Understanding this can significantly lighten the burden of everyday choices. Think about it—every action, every emotional reaction, every dream or goal we have is crafted to fulfill some need within us. These needs are natural and essential. However, sometimes our methods of fulfilling them can be destructive if we choose actions that don’t align with our true needs. Let me share a personal example. I used to struggle with maintaining my Instagram presence. I felt I needed to do it for career growth and income. But digging deeper, I realized my true need wasn’t about Instagram—it was about security. I mistakenly linked Instagram to financial security. Once I understood this, I found better ways to fulfill my need for connection and enjoyment in my work. So, how do you know if your actions align with your needs? It’s about tuning into yourself. Instead of diving straight into an action, pause and ask yourself: What need am I trying to fulfill with this? What will I gain from it emotionally? And most importantly, do I truly need this action to feel how I want to feel? This introspective approach can revolutionize how you make choices and lead to more fulfilling actions that genuinely satisfy your needs. Remember, it’s not about avoiding action but choosing the right action that aligns with what truly matters to you. Let’s explore this further with a metaphor: imagine you’re hungry and have two options. One is to grab a snack from your fridge—the quick, easy fix. The other involves a journey to find a specific fruit in a faraway place. Both can satisfy hunger, but only one aligns perfectly with your craving and satisfaction. Which one would you choose? By understanding and aligning your actions with your true needs, you can navigate life more intentionally, achieving a deeper sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. It’s not just about what you do, but why you do it. So, take a moment today to reflect on your actions—are they truly serving your needs? If not, what adjustments can you make to live more authentically aligned with what matters most to you? I hope this perspective helps you on your journey towards greater self-awareness and fulfillment. Stay tuned for more insights on this channel, and don’t forget to subscribe! Let’s embark on this journey together towards a more purposeful life.
  18. Here are my five cents - I found myself excelling in areas like creative writing and fitness, while feeling stuck and unfulfilled in my job and social interactions. Basically I found out that I make things done fast and cool when I like them and struggle getting results when I'm not. Perhaps I have no motivation when just push myself in doing what I don't like and the result is always so-so. The turning point came when I realized the importance of understanding what I was good at and what I was passionate about. Without this self-awareness, it was difficult to know where to focus my efforts, and any goals I set felt out of reach, even the small ones. To gain clarity, I began by listing activities that brought me joy and connect skills with them. Writing these down helped me connect them to achievable goals. This simple step provided a clear direction and made my goals feel more meaningful and attainable. I focused on what I was good at. I actually recommend you to make this exercise first and test it in real life to ensure that you are honest with yourself. Another thing I learned was about handling stress. It’s not the presence of stress that matters, but how we react to it. I realized that stress is an inevitable part of life, and our reactions can either hinder or help us. Initially, I overreacted, getting overwhelmed and feeling stuck. But then I started to view stress differently. Instead of seeing stress as something purely negative, I began to listen to what it was demanding from me. I asked myself what was causing the stress and what I could learn from the situation. This shift in perspective allowed me to identify areas for improvement, generate new ideas, and find solutions. By calmly analysing stressful situations, I was able to solve problems more effectively and learn new things, turning stress into a growth opportunity. My journey wasn't always easy, and I didn't get everything right the first time, but it was worth it. By understanding myself better and aligning my goals with my true passions, I found a path that was both fulfilling and empowering. This personal story of making things happen taught me that true strength comes from within, and with the right mindset, anything is achievable.
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