Olga

Look at little Murray - those eyes are just like his father's. It's always a bit unsettling to me how a child can so precisely replicate the features of their parents. It feels almost like cloning in a way. The way a kid inherits dad's eyes or mom's ears makes us seem like unoriginal, mass-produced duplicates. After all, DNA replication - reproduction - means creating exact copies. So, when two organisms come together in the ecstasy of love, they don't actually create anything fundamentally new. Sure, they mix and shake things up, but the basic components remain the same. Thankfully, nature is a bit blind and makes errors when copying, but that’s another story. There's something even more troubling than physical resemblance. That comes later, when Murray starts mimicking the behaviors of those around him. You see this charming boy with attentive eyes, but then he smirks, and it’s exactly like his annoying aunt. A few years later, you might overhear teenage Murray, in a cracking voice, saying, "I believe!" followed by some convoluted nonsense that clearly doesn’t come from him. It's obvious that he hasn’t yet learned to filter what he absorbs. His young mind, like a sponge, soaks up everything without being able to distinguish truth from falsehood. With time, Murray will become more discerning, perhaps even dismissive of some ideas, but still, whenever he says something with that confident "I believe!" rest assured, it won't be something truly his own. He might be deeply convinced of the originality of his ideas, feeling like a pioneer, even writing them down and proudly signing his name, but that doesn’t make them his. He stole them. Maybe not on purpose, maybe the real author was so vague that it feels like no one’s at fault, but it’s always a compilation and paraphrase. We’re not talking about scientists - real scientists, not the pop-science YouTubers. In science, something genuinely new can emerge, which obliges us to introduce new concepts into collective awareness - black holes, superstrings, and so on. But science pushes the boundaries of known reality, hence the need for new language to describe a previously unseen universe. And clearly, this isn’t for the majority. Most people are stuck in a stuffy room of informational reality, from which there’s no escape - no matter how you turn the key, not even a window to crack open. All words have been said, all thoughts have been thought and expressed. What’s left is for us to endlessly rearrange those words to form new sentences. Even that doesn’t always work out. Psycholinguists have an explanation for why this happens - it’s called priming. Simply put, it’s about how a preceding stimulus influences the execution of a subsequent cognitive action. For instance, if you hear the phrase "Mom is washing the window," and then you think, "What is Dad doing with the car?" there’s a high chance you’ll respond that Dad is fixing the car. You’ll likely structure your response by copying the format of the previous statement. The existence of priming effects has been proven experimentally. During one experiment, two participants, one of whom was an actor, took turns describing pictures. It turned out that the syntactic structure used by the subject often suspiciously mirrored the actor's description. This phenomenon was dubbed syntactic priming or syntactic persistence. Priming also appears on lexical and semantic levels, meaning that in conversation, participants tend to rely on the same images and words. And when you get home, you might hear your mom say, "Where did you pick up such words?" It turns out that without realizing it, we constantly copy what we hear, and then we mock parrots for doing the same. There’s even a theory of interactive alignment, which suggests that the tendency to mimic others' speech isn’t accidental but necessary to facilitate mutual understanding and conserve cognitive resources. It might also play a crucial role in children’s language development. As kids, we learned words and grammar structures, only to spend the rest of our lives repeating what others said. This text is no exception - it's a shameless plagiarism, a collection of thoughts and phrases borrowed from everywhere. I’m not creating, I’m relaying. I’m not inventing, I’m recalling. In linguistics, this pervasive plagiarism is elegantly called intertextuality. If you’ve been a student, you’re intimately familiar with it. That acquaintance began on the harsh day when, while struggling with a term paper, thesis, or some other semi-scientific work, you pulled apart the world’s knowledge base, unraveling sentences from articles, monographs, and textbooks - all of which were themselves pieced together from various patches. Theorists of intertextuality proclaim that every text, written or spoken, existing or in a stream of thought, is woven from other texts. In essence, the number of words, despite the richness of language, is limited. Any dictionary compiler will happily confirm this. There are even fewer meaningful combinations of words. The successful ones, as they say, the catchy or effectively communicative ones, are worth their weight in gold. The situation is worsened by the fact that the average language user doesn’t strive for novel expressions. They peacefully tread the well-worn path of clichés. After all, this conserves mental energy and helps avoid misunderstandings. The boundaries of expression become even narrower. And this, in our age of information overload, where words and meanings are relentlessly exploited, and where every device spews a fresh torrent of news. Everywhere you look, there are fragments, snippets, half-read voices, and quotations, making it increasingly difficult to claim original authorship. One saying drifts from Hitler to Haeckel, from Haeckel to Einstein, from Einstein to Jesus, until it dissolves back into the great intertext—society’s cultural and informational consciousness. We are literally drowning in informational noise. But it’s not just noise - it's more like the brain is under continuous informational assault, stealing our attention. To transition from a zombie to a person, you need to start enhancing your brain’s abilities now. Everywhere we look, personal opinions, authorial perspectives, and individual views carefully mimic each other. As you skim through yet another page, it's harder and harder to shake off that persistent feeling of déjà vu. What else is there to say? Postmodernism? The ruthless killer? First, it declared the author dead, because the author’s function is secondary; they’re merely a sieve through which the great intertext is filtered, structuring itself so that scattered blocks of words and phrases form something seemingly logical and meaningful. Or at least, it appears that way to other discourse participants. Is there a simpler task? After all, meaning, as we know, is born in the eye of the beholder. Without you, reader, this text would remain a meaningless heap of squiggles. Only your perceptive gaze brings it to life, breathes meaning into it, and gives it direction. The great intertext, immaterial and abstract, through you and me, creates something tangible and concrete, like a sentient ocean that can take the shape of your thoughts. But we’ve read about that somewhere before. The death of the author inevitably leads to the death of the individual text, whose boundaries are impossible to determine. You can't say where the water of borrowed ideas ends in your term paper and where the water you poured yourself begins. Despite your quotation marks, references, sources, and anti-plagiarism software, it all draws from the same ocean. So, who will postmodernism kill next? Of course, it will be you, dear reader. Saturated with all these texts, you’re now composed not of 50%, 70%, as is the norm, but 100% water. Your inevitably quoted consciousness is as unstable and indefinite as the hopeless search for the origins of the quotes that make up your mind. And by the way, as you’ve noticed, that’s also a quote. Peron Moises represents this series of deaths—or if you prefer, rebirths—in this way: during reading, all three—the author, the text, and the reader—merge into one endless field for the game of writing. In a broader sense, a text can be any connected flow of information. The letter-word form is just one way a text exists. The human personality, which through every lived moment, through facial expressions, gestures, speech, tone, dress, and gait, emits a signal about itself into the world, is also, in some sense, a text. Though some people have utterly meaningless faces. If you've ever seen a humanities graduate clutching a diploma to their chest with a lost expression, you know what I mean. Compared to written analogs, we humans are more complex texts—multi-layered, with several hidden planes and rich subtext. But it seems I’m using someone else’s words. Who said that every person is a book? So, I don't know if you’ve guessed it or not, but as a text, you’d probably fail an anti-plagiarism check. Have you ever counted how much of "you" is in you? There’s far too much of other people in you, people you copy consciously or unconsciously, just by being influenced by priming effects and yelling out your system of values. This is interpersonalism. Please meet and greet it. Everyone is interpersonal. You, me - an assembly of borrowed thoughts and behaviors, a compilation, a collage of other lives and voices, a mannequin with plastic limbs from different sets. How did you get to this point? Proud human, the darling of the gods, the pinnacle of the food chain. There’s nothing in you, absolutely nothing, that is truly your own. Your sense of humor, pieced together from memes, your branded sneakers, and even your eyes—they're your dad's. But don’t get me wrong, this isn't a critique of modern humanity’s loss of individuality. We're not much different from our ancestors. This is just how things are for us as a species. But today, with the increasing volume and speed of information exchange, these processes are particularly acute and visible. When everyone has equal access to information repositories, it’s very difficult to maintain possession of exclusive knowledge and thinking. A trend that emerges in one corner of the globe can, in fractions of a second, cross thousands of miles and infect entire continents. You take pride in your personal values and beliefs, cherish your rich inner world, but let’s be honest with ourselves—today, it’s hard to find a better word than “copy-paste.” But I feel it - I feel the protest growing in the minds of the most resilient readers. Isn’t human individuality found in the diversity of the qualities they possess? Here you take one thing, there you gather another, and now you’re a carrier of a completely unique set of data. Not quite. Not only do we, as inhabitants of the same environment, share common sources of information, but no matter how omnivorous you are, the end picture is more or less the same for everyone. Let’s be honest with ourselves—our merits in this diversity are no greater than the merits of a trash bin that unites different kinds of waste under its lid. I look inside myself with a playful squint, as if to say, "We’ve had our fun, now let’s go," and what do I find? An empty house, filled with the dust of others' phrases and habits. It makes me wonder—did my laugh, which has carried me through so many adventures, first light up on someone else’s face before I noticed and shamelessly stole it? Here, standing before an ancient ruin of a person, shaking off the dust, rises the age-old problem of the value of one's own existence. What’s there to love about me? With an emphasis on me. My appearance owes me nothing. I was born with it, so my face isn’t really me. The same can be said about my character and temperament. My mind, my knowledge, my worldview—I took all of it from other people. I listened to my parents, read books, looked around, filling myself with the world like an empty vessel. Once all this is gone, what’s left? Put another person in my place, give them the same traits, surround them with the same conditions, and you’ll be amazed at how much they’ll resemble me. They could become just as worthy a son to my parents, a friend to my friends, a lover to my girlfriend. No one would notice the substitution. So, what’s there to love about me? And setting traps everywhere, I fall into one myself. What kind of words are these? I? Me? That’s something we can still figure out. In broad terms, I is the consciousness that identifies itself as a person. But what about the me of, say, five years ago? What do we call that? After all, personality, ego, self - these are first and foremost an individual complex of attitudes and knowledge about the world. In other words, the software running on the brain’s processor. And in five years, not to mention longer periods, oh, how everything can change. If I met myself from 2008, I’d probably spit in his face. Not much time will pass before you no longer exist. Your current self will no longer exist, though no one can say exactly when because it’s a smooth and ongoing process of reinstallation, updating, and rethinking. This process of renewal even happens to our bodies. It takes anywhere from 14 days to 20 years for most of your organs’ cells to be completely replaced by new ones. So, in 20 years, physically, almost nothing of your present self will remain. And who will you be, my successor? Will you want to shake my hand? But one thing is certain—you will be a different person, feeling and thinking differently. Is there anything more ephemeral than human beliefs? Right now, they seem unshakable, carved in stone. Liberals and conservatives puff up their chests, proclaiming they’d rather die than adopt the views of their opponents. A young man swears eternal love to his girlfriend. Of course, her presence makes everything extraordinary. Marta insists she’d never in a million years give her wristwatch, a gift from her father, to a stranger. But then a hypnotist’s voice rings out. "When I count to ten, you’ll want to take off your watch. You’ll find it uncomfortable on your wrist, an annoying burden. One, two, three." And she emerges from the trance. The girl really does take off the watch, hands it over, and even with some indignation, refuses to take it back. That’s her new belief - her belief, you understand? That's what she believes, that’s her I. And what does the world around us do if not hypnotize us? With endless images, stories, suggestions, the swaying of branches outside, the ticking of a second hand. We hypnotize ourselves, reinforcing our beliefs and convictions, identifying ourselves with them. They, like the cells in our bodies, gradually die off, and then new ones appear in their place, and what you recently called “I” no longer exists. It’s as fluid and changeable as a river, into which, as you know, you can’t step twice. Final Thoughts: This exploration of identity, originality, and the human condition strikes at the core of what it means to be an individual in a world flooded with information and inherited traits. It touches on the unsettling reality that much of what we consider uniquely "ours" is, in fact, borrowed, influenced, or directly copied from others. Our sense of self is not a fixed entity but a constantly evolving construct shaped by external stimuli and internal reconfigurations. While this might seem disheartening, it also opens up a dialogue about the nature of creativity and self-awareness. Recognizing the fluidity of our identities can be liberating, encouraging us to embrace change and growth rather than clinging to a static sense of self. After all, the beauty of human experience lies in our ability to adapt, evolve, and reinvent ourselves as we journey through life.

The overwhelming tide of information we face daily began its relentless assault on our consciousness only about 15 years ago. This torrent of data is accelerating at a pace far beyond our brain’s ability to adapt, creating a chasm between the evolutionary limits of our minds and the demands of the modern world. We are simply not evolutionarily equipped to handle this information overload. But, as with many things in life, no one asked us if we were ready. This relentless flood is hitting us directly, or more accurately, it’s hitting our brains. And as it turns out, our brains are alarmingly easy to program. The Avalanche of Information and Brain Programming The central issue is that while the speed of information flow has increased exponentially, our cognitive capacities have not kept pace. This disparity leaves our brains vulnerable to manipulation—a concept that has been explored through what is commonly referred to as the "Overton Window." This concept suggests that societal norms can be shifted gradually by introducing and normalizing ideas that once seemed unthinkable. The Five-Stage Process of Consciousness Programming In this narrative, the programming of our consciousness is framed as a five-stage process designed to transition an idea from the unimaginable to the accepted norm. This technique can be applied to any topic, no matter how fantastical or absurd it may initially seem. 1. Introducing the Unthinkable: The first step involves bringing a radical idea into the public sphere, even if it seems ludicrous. Consider, for example, the notion that negative thoughts could cause environmental pollution, or the idea that underwear should be worn on one’s head. Even more extreme is the idea that the government could decide to take 99% of your salary. Such ideas initially provoke shock, disbelief, or even physical discomfort—reactions that signal the idea's current place in the "unthinkable" category. 2. Softening the Radical: Once the idea is introduced, the next step is to soften its impact. This is done by rebranding it with a gentler, less alarming term. For instance, instead of saying the government "steals" your money, the concept might be reframed as "centralizing resources for more efficient management." The key here is to detach the harsh reality from the term itself, making the idea more digestible. This stage is crucial because it helps distance the new terminology from its original, unacceptable connotations. 3. Creating a Middle Ground: As the conversation around the idea grows, it starts to shift from being purely radical to one of many viewpoints. Opposition to the idea is increasingly portrayed as irrational or extremist. Those who resist are labeled as uneducated or out of touch, while proponents are cast as forward-thinking and reasonable. This stage blurs the lines between the extreme and the moderate, making the once unthinkable idea seem like a plausible option. 4. Mainstreaming the Concept: At this point, the idea is no longer confined to the fringes of society. It gains momentum as influential figures—celebrities, thought leaders, and media personalities—begin to endorse it. These endorsements help to normalize the concept, moving it from a topic of debate among a few to a widely accepted societal norm. The media plays a critical role here, amplifying the voices of those who support the idea and framing it as a logical progression of societal values. 5. Legal and Societal Implementation: The final stage is when the idea, once considered outrageous, becomes enshrined in law or widely adopted as a social norm. By this point, public opinion has been sufficiently molded, often through manipulated polls or staged debates, to show overwhelming support. The groundwork laid in the previous stages allows for the seamless introduction of legislation or policies that codify the new norm, completing the transition from the unimaginable to the everyday reality. The Overton Window: Concept vs. Myth The Overton Window, as originally theorized by Joseph Overton, is not inherently a tool for mind control, but rather a model for understanding how the boundaries of public opinion shift over time. Overton’s work was primarily focused on helping policymakers and think tanks identify which ideas were currently acceptable to the public and which were not. His concept was never intended as a method for deliberately altering societal norms, but rather as a way to observe and anticipate changes in public sentiment. However, over time, the idea of the Overton Window has been distorted, especially in online discussions, where it is often portrayed as a method for systematically reprogramming societal values. This myth suggests that with the right techniques, anything can be made acceptable, even ideas that are initially repugnant or absurd. This mutated version of the Overton Window is frequently cited in conspiracy theories, where it is used to explain everything from changes in cultural norms to shifts in political power. A Real-World Application: A Pension Reform One of the most vivid examples of how this process might work in practice is the pension reform in Russia. The idea of raising the retirement age was once unthinkable, yet over the course of a few years, it transitioned from a radical suggestion to a legislative reality. The process began with small discussions, often framed as necessary adjustments due to demographic changes. These discussions gradually became more frequent and were picked up by mainstream media, which framed the debate as a complex but necessary decision. By the time the law was passed, the idea had been so thoroughly discussed and normalized that it was no longer shocking, even though it still faced significant public opposition. The Overton Window had shifted, making what was once politically impossible not only possible but actual policy. The Power and Danger of Narrative How conspiracy theories and myths, like the distorted Overton Window, gain traction. They often do so because they offer simple explanations for complex phenomena. In societies where power is concentrated and dissent is suppressed, these narratives can become particularly compelling. They provide a sense of order and control, suggesting that behind the chaos of the world, there are powerful forces orchestrating events according to a hidden agenda. However, these narratives can also be dangerous. They can lead to a sense of fatalism, where people believe that they are powerless to change their circumstances because "everything is already decided" by those in power. This can lead to widespread apathy or, conversely, radicalization, as people seek to fight back against perceived manipulation. My Final Thoughts The idea of the Overton Window, both in its original form and its distorted mutation, serves as a powerful lens through which to view societal change. While the original concept was about observing shifts in public opinion, the mutated version speaks to the real dangers of how ideas can be manipulated and normalized. The example of pension reform shows how this process can be used to introduce and implement policies that might initially seem unacceptable. It's crucial to understand that while the idea of programming consciousness might sound like a conspiracy theory, there is a grain of truth in the way media, politics, and culture interact to shape public opinion. The power to influence society doesn't necessarily lie in grand conspiracies but in the subtle, everyday shifts in discourse and perception. This understanding should empower us to be more critical of the information we consume and the narratives we accept. By being aware of these processes, we can better resist manipulation and maintain a more grounded perspective on the rapid changes happening around us. In a world where the unthinkable can quickly become the norm, staying informed and critical is more important than ever.

You're right; the summary I provided was more concise than the original 21-minute script. Let me expand on the details and ensure that all the key points are covered thoroughly: --- Today, we're delving into a topic that touches on the intricate events occurring within us, specifically focusing on the processes tied to willpower and achieving long-term goals. Whether your goal is learning a new language, running a marathon, mastering a new profession, or losing weight, it's these prolonged efforts that ultimately lead to life's successes—not just in a commercial sense but in a more profound, holistic way. In this discussion, we'll revisit some of the strategies we've covered before on willpower and long-term goal achievement, and introduce a popular one—visualization. Visualization involves imagining yourself achieving your goals, with the idea that this mental exercise will provide you with the motivation needed to pursue them. The internet is flooded with articles on how to visualize goals effectively, but today, we'll explore the scientific basis behind this practice and whether it's as straightforward as it's often portrayed. To start, visualization is more than just a trendy self-help technique. Unlike many other popular methods that claim to help you overcome procrastination and get started on your long-term goals, visualization has scientific roots that date back to the late 1980s. One of the pioneers in this field was American psychologist Shelley Taylor, who defined visualization as the process of imagining a future outcome, which leads to changes in behavior and emotional states that facilitate the realization of that future. Typically, when people visualize, they imagine an idealized version of themselves after achieving their goals. Someone trying to lose weight might picture themselves as slim and fit. Someone with financial aspirations might visualize buying a luxury car or arriving at a private jet. Office workers might dream of sitting in a plush chair as a top executive, while athletes might see themselves standing on a podium, clutching a gold trophy. These visualizations often focus on highly pleasurable and desirable outcomes, making the future appear not just possible, but within reach. However, research reveals a critical aspect of this process—when we visualize something vividly, our brain activates the same regions as if we were actually experiencing it. For instance, thinking about spiders can trigger fear-related brain areas, while imagining pleasant experiences activates the brain's reward centers. This phenomenon explains why daydreaming about a successful future can feel so satisfying. But here's the twist: because these visualizations give your brain a taste of that success, they can paradoxically reduce your drive to actually work toward the goal. Your brain, having "experienced" the success in your imagination, might not see the need to pursue it in reality. This is where the real challenge lies. While these fantasies make you feel good temporarily, they can decrease your motivation to engage in the hard work needed to achieve your goals. Essentially, your brain is tricked into feeling that the reward has already been attained, which diminishes the urgency to strive for it. This effect can be particularly detrimental when the actions required to achieve the goal are difficult or unpleasant—like adhering to a strict diet, maintaining a rigorous exercise routine, or dedicating long hours to studying. The key to using visualization effectively is to shift focus from the end result to the process itself. Scientific studies suggest that successful visualization involves two specific techniques: process visualization and gap visualization. Process visualization involves mentally rehearsing the steps needed to achieve your goal. Instead of just imagining the end state, you think through each action, obstacle, and detail involved in reaching your objective. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, visualize the daily workouts, the meal preparations, and the discipline required to avoid unhealthy foods. This method of visualization is akin to detailed planning, which not only prepares you for the journey but also reduces anxiety by making the goal seem more attainable. It turns abstract ambitions into concrete tasks, which can make the entire process feel less overwhelming and more manageable. Here is a post about importance of practice which resonates and the next step after the process visualization. In contrast, gap visualization emphasizes the difference between your current state and your desired future state. This technique involves focusing on the discomfort of where you are now compared to where you want to be, which can serve as a strong motivator. However, it's essential to ensure that the gap is not too vast; otherwise, it might seem insurmountable and lead to discouragement rather than motivation. For example, if you're deeply in debt, it might be more motivating to focus on paying off one credit card rather than imagining yourself as a millionaire overnight. Let’s explore the concept of Vision, often discussed by successful individuals like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger frequently emphasizes the importance of having a clear "vision" of the future—knowing precisely what you want to achieve. But it's crucial to understand that his vision wasn't just about imagining success; it included a detailed plan of the steps required to reach that success. His vision involved rigorous training, relentless dedication, and making significant sacrifices. This detailed process visualization, combined with an unwavering commitment to his goals, is what set him apart. It's also important to recognize that not everyone is naturally equipped to create and maintain such a compelling vision. Personality traits and genetic predispositions play a significant role in how effectively one can visualize and stay motivated by future goals. For instance, individuals with a high degree of neuroticism might struggle with vivid mental imagery, while those with a more extroverted personality might find it easier. Moreover, research has shown that impulsive individuals tend to have a harder time connecting with their future selves in a way that motivates them to delay gratification now for greater rewards later. So, while visualization can be a powerful tool, it’s important to use it correctly. Focus on the process, set realistic goals, and understand your unique psychological makeup. This approach will help you avoid the common pitfalls of wishful thinking and use visualization as a practical strategy for achieving your long-term goals. Addressing Success Stories and Visualization: You might wonder, what about the success stories of those who claim that visualizing their future success played a crucial role in their achievements? For example, Arnold Schwarzenegger and other successful individuals often talk about the power of seeing themselves as successful long before they actually achieved their goals. Does this mean that simple positive visualization is effective? The answer lies in the details of how they practiced visualization. Schwarzenegger’s vision wasn’t just about the end result; it was intertwined with a detailed understanding of the process and a deep commitment to the necessary actions. His success was not just about seeing himself on the podium but about knowing exactly what it would take to get there and being willing to make the sacrifices required. This level of detail and commitment goes beyond simple daydreaming and enters the realm of strategic planning and intense focus. Furthermore, not everyone has the same capacity to create a powerful vision that drives them forward. Research shows that people who are less impulsive, and who can see their future selves as a continuation of their present selves, are more likely to be motivated by visualization. These individuals can tap into the motivation provided by a compelling vision of the future because their brains are wired to value that future almost as much as the present. For those who are more impulsive, visualization might not have the same effect. Their brains might struggle to generate the dopamine—the neurotransmitter associated with motivation and pleasure—necessary to drive them towards long-term goals. This is because their brain's reward system is more oriented towards immediate gratification rather than delayed rewards. For them, the concept of the future self might feel abstract or disconnected, making it harder to motivate present actions based on future benefits. My Final Thoughts Visualization is indeed a valuable technique, but like any tool, its effectiveness depends on how you use it. Imagining success isn't enough—you need to visualize the journey, anticipate challenges, and plan your actions. It's also crucial to align your visualization with your personality and motivational style. If you're aware of your tendencies, whether towards impulsivity or meticulous planning, you can tailor your approach to ensure that visualization works for you rather than against you. Remember, success is built not just on dreams but on consistent effort and strategic planning. If you’re someone who finds it difficult to stay motivated by future goals, consider focusing on smaller, more immediate steps and visualize the process rather than the end result. And remember, understanding how your brain works, especially how it responds to rewards and challenges, can help you tailor your approach to visualization in a way that truly supports your long-term success.

It is possible to predict, although some believe that the future can still be planned. But planning the future is actually planning the present. Because the real future is about unpredictability. It's the unknown that brings anxiety into our lives because we don't know what and how things will turn out. However, growth, development, and potential improvements always lie in the future because they don't exist in the past. In the past, there is only what has already happened and what is doomed to repeat; it cannot be anything else. It can only become something different in the future. This choice can also be defined through experience. Choosing the past is a choice based on the experiences we have already had. It doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a situation identical to one we’ve encountered before. It could be a completely different situation, but the choice to act or not act in it will be made with the experience we’ve lived through in mind. For example, if you've had difficulties working in the construction industry, when searching for a new job, you might avoid considering construction positions in order to choose a “future.” However, in reality, this is a choice in favor of the “past,” because when looking for a new job, you're basing your decision on old experiences. You remember that it was bad on the construction site, so you won’t go back there—your old experience, your past, limits your choice of the future, and you end up in the same cycle. As long as your past experience in construction weighs on you, as long as you remember it and avoid repeating it or simply take it into account when choosing a new job, you will continue to seek work based on that experience. And this is a choice in favor of the past, which can cause you to learn the same lesson over and over again. The Plan To truly move beyond the limitations of the past, we must first recognize the patterns that keep us stuck. It’s essential to understand that while our past experiences offer valuable lessons, they should guide us, not define us. Embracing the uncertainty of the future allows us to break free from repetitive cycles and make choices that lead to growth. By focusing on the present, taking small risks, and reframing our past failures as lessons rather than obstacles, we can avoid the trap of reliving yesterday and start building a future that’s truly different. Our past should inform our decisions, but not dictate them. The key to a transformed tomorrow lies in the choices we make today.

Children easily overcome their losses and failures, starting their path anew. In fact, if we had experienced failures in childhood as severely as adults often do, most of us probably wouldn't even know how to walk. Or, we would do it very poorly. After each fall on our bottoms, we would start reflecting: 'I will never be able to walk... Maybe I'm just not meant to walk? Let them all walk, and I'll just crawl... Why not? Crawling is even more convenient! And those fools can keep walking...' Then, a couple of years later, another attempt, then another, and eventually, 'I don't need to walk at all.' And each new attempt would be less successful because the memory of past experiences would already carry the belief that we never really learned how to walk. And that means each new attempt would be plagued by the thought that it won't work this time either... 'Absurd,' you might say. And you would be right. The scientific approach is to walk upright on two legs. But how many people would agree with these words if we applied them to love, happiness, creating a family, achieving a good income, and finding satisfying work?

Have you ever considered how your life would change if you not only avoided negative influences but actually used them as stepping stones to personal victory? Imagine if every harsh word, every difficult challenge, wasn't just a blow but an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Marcus Aurelius wisely observed that all we see is just an interpretation, for what is life if not what we make of it? Your perception of negative events shapes not only your inner state but also the path you carve out for yourself. Negativity is not just an obstacle; it’s a challenge that can be transformed into a chance for growth. We will show you how to turn negative moments into sources of strength and wisdom, guiding you on a journey where every challenge becomes a part of your path to great achievements. Recognize your power. Within each of us lies an inner strength capable of absorbing any negative influence, any destructive force from the outside. Too often, we underestimate the power we possess, allowing negative thoughts, words, and actions to penetrate our minds and erode them from within. But pause for a moment. You are not just a random collection of emotions and thoughts. When life challenges you, when your surroundings press down on you, remember that these are the moments when your true strength can emerge. It’s crucial to realize that you have the right to consciously choose what to let into your life and what to reject. This isn't always easy. There are times when it feels like the world is conspiring against you, when every glance and every word directed at you carries poison. But it is precisely in such moments that you must stand firm. As Marcus Aurelius said, nothing should make you act against your nature. Your choices are your weapons. You decide what will penetrate your heart and what will remain outside its borders. The paradox is that the strength of choice lies not in action, but in inaction. By choosing not to react, not to accept others' negativity, you affirm your power. When someone tries to destroy your inner peace, to make you doubt yourself, just know that their power is limited—it exists only to the extent that you allow it. Don’t expect life to be easy; sometimes, everything will fall apart, and people will disappoint you over and over again. But the stronger the storm, the more resilient your convictions become. You will not relinquish your right to choose. You will not passively absorb others' fears and doubts. Your strength is your inner freedom, and no one can take it from you unless you allow it. Maintain your integrity. The world may offer you chaos, but you are not obliged to accept it. You can create your own order. You can choose how to perceive any situation, any threat. Will you passively react, or will you actively take control? In this decision lies all your strength. Your power is not just in reacting to the world; it’s in shaping it. When you stop being a prisoner of others' expectations and fears, you free yourself from any influence that doesn’t align with your path. And it is then that you’ll understand that no external force can destroy you if you do not betray your inner strength. So, hold onto your power—it is unshakable in this world. Choose consciously, act decisively, and no negative influence will be able to break you. You are stronger than you think and stronger than this world wants you to believe. Mental barriers aren’t just psychological tricks—they are necessities. They are your armor in a world where negativity pours like an endless rain. In this world, no one is immune from toxic words, sharp glances, and attempts to inject their complexes and fears into you. But here’s what’s important to understand: you don’t have to take all of this inside. You don’t need to carry the burden that doesn’t belong to you. Build an invisible barrier within yourself. Let it become an impenetrable shield that separates your essence from everything that shouldn’t touch you. This barrier isn’t just protection—it’s a symbol of your determination not to succumb to external manipulations. When you hear negativity, when you face judgment, feel those words crashing against your shield like waves against a cliff. Your goal is not just to ignore but to transform that negativity, not allowing it to penetrate deeper than the surface. Words can be sharp, but they are powerless against someone who has gained control over their inner world. “Man suffers not from events but from his opinion about them,” said Epictetus. This is the truth that many miss. Your attitude toward others' words and actions is the key to your freedom. Every time someone tries to hurt you, to strike at your feelings, you have a choice: allow that blow to wound you or watch it helplessly bounce off your barrier. Don’t be fooled—negative people exist, and they will try to hurt you. But their influence is limited only to how much you allow them to penetrate your consciousness. This barrier you create is not a sign of weakness or escape—it is your inner discipline, your refusal to be vulnerable to what doesn’t matter. You are the master of your thoughts; you are the architect of your inner world. Don’t let others dictate how you should feel and react. This mental barrier, this invisible shield, is your fortress. Behind it, you can be yourself. You can maintain your integrity and clarity in a world full of noise. You choose silence and calm within. Let their words bounce off. Let their attempts to hurt you remain fruitless. You walk your path, free from others' opinions and judgments. Your strength lies not in destroying enemies but in remaining steadfast in the face of their attacks. You create a barrier not to isolate yourself from the world but to preserve your inner freedom. And this freedom is priceless. Switch your focus—this is an art that everyone who strives to maintain inner peace needs to master. Negativity lurks at every turn. When you encounter something that can shake your emotional balance, it’s important not to get stuck in it. Negativity attracts—it has a powerful energy that can consume you if you allow it to. But here’s what you must remember: you always have a choice, and that choice lies in where you direct your attention. When it seems like the world is shrinking to the size of your problems and discontent, don’t let this engulf you. Switch your focus. This is your chance to break free from the grip of destructive emotions. Choose something that strengthens you, that brings you back to positivity—whether it’s a book that inspires you to new achievements or music that penetrates deep within, restoring harmony. Use this as an anchor. The world won’t stop—it will keep pressing on you, offering new reasons for anxiety and disappointment. But as soon as you realize that you can choose your reaction, as soon as you understand that your attention is the most valuable resource you have, you’ll start winning this battle. Marcus Aurelius said, "Endurance is the ability to restrain your desires and direct your thoughts." This is the key to liberation. When a wave of negativity overwhelms you, grab a book that restores your faith in yourself and the world. Talk to friends whose voices remind you that you are not alone. Listen to music that helps you breathe deeper and see the light even in the darkest times. Your mind is the battlefield, and on this battlefield, the one who can shift their focus wins. Instead of letting negativity consume you from within, you can choose to feed on the positivity that awaits you in various sources. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it works for you. By shifting your focus from destructive to constructive, you become stronger. You are no longer a puppet in the hands of circumstances but the master of your own inner world. And when you master this switch, no negativity will be able to stay in your life longer than you allow it. Your strength lies in not letting a dark cloud cover the entire horizon. You see beyond it—you see the light, and you choose to move toward it. This choice is your freedom. Your reaction is your power—something no one can take from you. No matter what happens around you, negativity is not just a random occurrence; it’s a test of your resilience, a trial of your spirit’s strength. Every day, you face things beyond your control—others’ words, actions, circumstances that spiral out of your grasp. You cannot control them, just as you cannot stop the wind or extinguish the sun. But here’s the point: all their power crumbles when you realize that your reaction to all of this is in your hands. There are moments when it seems like everything is falling apart—people can be cruel, circumstances unfair, and the world around you begins to lose its shape. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to be a puppet in this chaos. You can stand firm, like a rock in the midst of a raging ocean. Your behavior, your reaction, is your power. You alone decide which emotions to allow yourself, how to act, and what to keep out of your inner world. The words of others are just wind—they cannot destroy you unless you allow them to. As Marcus Aurelius said, "Within yourself, you carry a source of strength and warmth like the sun. If you have your own support, nothing external can destroy you." These words are a reminder that your strength lies not in controlling everything around you but in controlling yourself. You cannot change someone who yells at you, but you can remain calm in response. You cannot make the world kind, but you can keep your kindness even in the darkest hour. Negativity will attack you, trying to break through your defenses. But every time you don’t give in to it, every time you remain the master of your reaction, you win. You don’t just preserve yourself—you grow. In that moment, when everything seems to be falling apart, but inside, you are unshakably confident that you can control your destiny no matter what, and when the storm subsides, you will see that everything that truly matters remains intact, because it was always in your hands. Your reaction is your strength. It belongs only to you, and no one has power over it unless you allow it. Transform negativity into action. Negativity is not just a hindrance on your path—it’s energy that you can take control of and direct where you need it. Every disappointment, every hurt—these are more than just emotions; they are potential strength, which, if used correctly, can become your most powerful fuel. When someone tries to knock you down, humiliate you, or strip you of your confidence, you have a choice: crumble under this weight or transform it into a drive to prove the opposite. This transformation is an art accessible to few because it requires endurance, self-discipline, and cold calculation. You feel the anger, the hurt, the rage, and it seems like they are tearing you apart from the inside. But it’s right here, in this boiling cauldron of emotions, that your true strength is born. You don’t let them destroy you; you take this energy and channel it toward achieving your goal. Negativity becomes the fuel accelerating your progress forward. "The obstacle is the way," said Marcus Aurelius. This phrase encapsulates the essence of how you can use any negative impulse. Obstacles are the teachers that give you a chance to become stronger, smarter, more determined. You are not just moving toward the light—you are breaking through the darkness, using it as your guide. Every time someone tries to stop you, telling you that you can’t do it, that you’re not good enough, you transform these words—they ignite the fire within you. This fire isn’t rage or blind aggression; it’s a pure drive toward your goal. It’s the strength that pushes you forward when everything else tries to hold you back. You are no longer a victim of circumstances; you become the architect of your destiny. The negativity that was supposed to destroy you becomes what makes you even stronger. You translate emotions into action, not letting them tear you apart from the inside. This is not about running away from pain—it’s about accepting pain as a necessary component of your growth. You are not just proving something to others—you are proving it to yourself. Every time you face a challenge and overcome it, you become even more confident in your abilities. You see how every negative emotion becomes a step on your path to the top, and at some point, you realize that it is this path, full of struggle and overcoming, that makes you who you are meant to be. So, translate it into action. Don’t let negativity consume you—make it your ally. Let every hurt, every doubt, every attempt to stop you become an additional push on your journey. You are stronger than all these words and circumstances because you know how to use them to your advantage, and that is your true strength—the ability to transform the destructive into the constructive. Be an observer. Negativity that bursts into your life always seems significant, weighty, like something that can shake your foundations and change your reality. But here’s what’s important to understand: it’s just a moment, fleeting like the shadow of clouds that momentarily covers the sun. You don’t have to become part of it—you don’t have to let it define who you are. Become an observer. In that moment when negativity tries to seize you, when it rolls over you like a wave, remember this isn’t your reality. It’s just a scene playing out in a temporary event. As Epictetus said, "People are disturbed not by things, but by their opinions about things." And that opinion is in your hands. You decide whether negativity becomes your reality or remains just a passing episode. When you detach and observe, you regain your power. It becomes just a moment that has no control over you—it comes and goes, like everything else in this world. Your true self is not tied to this moment. You are more than any situation, more than any emotion that arises in response to what’s happening. Your essence isn’t subject to the winds of change because it’s deeper than any external circumstance. Sometimes, negativity can seem overwhelming, an all-encompassing wave that could knock you off your feet. But the wave is just part of the ocean—it comes and goes, leaving behind calm and quiet. Your task isn’t to dissolve in this wave but to observe it, knowing that it will soon subside, leaving you unharmed. You are the observer, not a participant in this drama. You see the negativity, you acknowledge it, but it has no power over you. Your true self is a fortress that stands above all these temporary storms. You see the storm, but you are not inside it. You observe the play of light and shadow, the change of days and nights, but you are more than this cycle. When you realize this, when you truly feel it deep inside, negativity loses its power. It can no longer dictate how you feel or react. It just passes, leaving you as strong as you were before it came. Be an observer. Let negativity pass by without touching you. Remember that this moment is just a fleeting one in the stream of time—unless you choose to let it in. You are more than your emotions, more than any situation, and in this lies your power—the ability to see things as they are, without fear, without attachment, without illusions. In the moment when darkness envelops you and it seems like everything is falling apart, turn to your past. There, in the shadows of your experience, are moments that testify to your strength, your ability to overcome. You’ve been here before—you’ve faced negativity that sought to destroy you, and you emerged victorious from that battle. Don’t allow yourself to forget this. Recall your past victories like precious trophies that remind you that you are capable of more than you think at this moment. When you feel that your strength is running out, when doubts begin to devour your confidence, do a retrospective—immerse yourself in memories of those times when, despite fear, despite pressure, you were able to stand your ground, to cope. These moments are not just a part of your past—they are proof that you are stronger than you think. They are like beacons in the fog that remind you that you’ve already won, and if you could do it then, you can do it now. Marcus Aurelius said, "The past is a form of the future; what has been will be repeated." Your past victories are the keys to the victories that await you ahead. You already know how it’s done. You’ve already proven to yourself that you can handle any negativity, any difficulty that stands in your way. Don’t forget this. In every defeat, there is a seed of future victory, and in every victory, there is a reminder that you are strong. Let your retrospective be your shield in moments of doubt. Let the memories of how you overcame obstacles, how you fought your own fears and won, remind you that you’ve already proven to yourself and the world that you can withstand any blow. You’ve already walked through fire and didn’t get burned, so why should it be any different now? Remember how you got up after falls, how you found strength when it seemed there was none left. This is not just a memory; it’s your legacy, your personal story of strength and resilience. And every time you face a new difficulty, this story reminds you that you have everything you need to get through it again. You are stronger than you think, and your past is proof of that. Your victories are not coincidences; they are a pattern. You’ve fought, and you’ve won, and you will win again. So, in moments when everything seems dark, when negativity tries to break you, remember who you were then and who you’ve become now. Remember your strength, your determination, your ability not to give up. This isn’t just a memory—it’s living proof that you can overcome any difficulty because you’ve already done it before, and no one can take that strength from you unless you allow it. Be resilient. This isn’t just advice—it’s a call to action. In a world where negativity surrounds us from all sides, resilience is your shield, your tool for standing firm and succeeding. Every time you face negativity and don’t succumb to it, you take another step toward becoming stronger, tougher, and more unshakeable. But this strength doesn’t come by itself—it must be developed like muscles in the body, through constant training, through daily effort. Resilience is not just the ability to take a hit—it’s the skill of getting back up after every fall, becoming tougher and more confident each time. You may be surrounded by skepticism, criticism, ridicule. Negative impulses may creep up on you from the shadows, trying to knock you off course, to weaken your resolve. But every time you stand your ground, when you don’t let that poison penetrate your heart, you are like an anvil being forged by the hammer, shaping your character. As Nietzsche said, "What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger." These words are not just a philosophical concept—they are a guide to action. Negativity is a test of your patience, your ability to resist and keep moving forward, but not just to endure, but to become better, stronger. Resilience is not an innate quality—it’s a skill that can and must be developed. With every refusal to give in to irritation, to hurt, to despair, you grow. With every refusal to let negativity control you, you become more aware, more confident in yourself. It’s like training muscles—at first, it causes pain and resistance, but over time, it brings strength, flexibility, confidence. Your mind is a gym, and every negative impulse is another weight you lift, making yourself stronger. Don’t expect instant results—like muscle strength, resilience requires time to build. But every time you stand your ground, every time you don’t let negativity take hold of you, you develop your resilience. It’s a slow but sure path to inner strength that won’t be destroyed by any external circumstances. And one day, you’ll look back and see that the things that once had power over you no longer do. You’ve become someone who withstands any trial, who looks negativity in the face and keeps moving forward without stopping. Resilience becomes your second nature. You no longer just react to the world—you control your reaction, your state, your destiny. Be resilient. Do this every day, every minute, with every negative impulse that tries to weaken you. Let every moment of resistance be a moment of your growth. In this lies your strength, in this lies your advantage. Develop resilience like muscles, and nothing will be able to break you. So, how to not take negativity to heart and win? Everything we’ve talked about boils down to one simple yet profound principle: strength lies in your reaction. You can’t control the world around you, but you can always control yourself. Negativity is not an enemy—it’s a test that hardens you, makes you stronger, smarter, more resilient. Every time you face negativity and don’t give in to it, you win. You turn doubt into confidence, weakness into strength, and fear into courage. Ancient sages knew this better than anyone. As Seneca said, "Not suffering, but our attitude toward suffering causes pain." Negativity is just a shadow that exists only as long as you look at it. Turn away from it, don’t give it importance, and it will disappear like fog under the sun’s rays. This doesn’t mean avoiding difficulties—it means facing them and understanding that they are temporary, that they can’t define you unless you allow them to. To win means to know that every negative moment, every challenge is a step on the path of your growth, your personal triumph. I wish you as few negative moments as possible in your life, but if they happen, let them be an opportunity for you to show your strength. Let every difficulty be a lesson for you, and every negativity a push toward new achievements. You are stronger than you think, and that strength is in your hands. Remember that.

I once led a high-stakes project to develop an ultra-fast charging system for luxury electric vehicles. The pressure was immense - tight deadlines, high expectations, and no room for error. Sound familiar? As the stress mounted, communication within the team began to suffer. People were so focused on their own tasks that they started to work in silos, which led to mistakes and growing frustration. Micromanagement, in my point of view, is the worst thing you can do in these situations. We didn’t have formal check-ins; instead, we encouraged honest conversations, even if it meant admitting we were struggling. Open communication sounds simple, but in reality, it’s bloody difficult, especially when everyone’s under pressure. It took a conscious effort to create an environment where people felt safe enough to speak up - about challenges, delays, or just needing help. This shift wasn’t easy, but it was crucial. By getting things out in the open, we could address problems before they escalated, and trust began to rebuild. But communication wasn’t enough. The relentless pace was wearing us down, so we made it a point to support each other. Sometimes that meant stepping in to help a colleague who was swamped, other times it was just about recognizing when someone needed a break. These small acts of support helped keep morale from collapsing and showed that we were in this together. Trust isn’t just about talking; it’s about showing up for each other when it counts.

Trust in Our Lives: Beyond the Coaching Cliché Trust is a concept that may seem out of place in some discussions, especially in the realm of self-help and business coaching. The very mention of trust might conjure images of motivational speakers promoting quick-fix solutions to success—promises that often lack substance. Many of us have grown wary of these tactics, particularly when the emphasis is on flashy presentations rather than real, measurable outcomes. But before dismissing the idea of trust as just another buzzword, it’s worth looking beyond the stereotypes. The real issue with much of the coaching industry, especially the more dubious segments, lies in their tendency to create illusions of success - stories that sound good but lack concrete evidence. These narratives often collapse under scrutiny, revealing little more than empty slogans and superficial advice. Today, I want to explore a broader perspective: the danger of lumping all discussions about trust and personal development into the same category. Recently, I came across a book with a seemingly generic title. My initial reaction was skepticism, suspecting it to be just another attempt to repurpose common ideas. But then I asked myself, “Who is this author, and why should I listen?” A Legacy of Trust: From Father to Son To my surprise, a quick search led me not directly to the author, but to his father—Stephen Covey Sr. For those unfamiliar, Stephen Covey Sr. was a globally renowned consultant, businessman, and author. His work was praised by publications like Forbes and TIME, and his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is considered one of the most influential business books ever written. The credibility of these sources helped build a foundation of trust—not just in the author but through the legacy of his father. Stephen Covey Jr., the author in question, followed a similar path. He began his career at the grassroots level in his father’s company and gradually rose to the position of CEO. Unlike many self-styled “gurus” whose credentials are questionable at best, Covey Jr.’s career has been independently validated by major business leaders. He has successfully led divisions and conducted training programs that have received positive feedback from the international business community. Given this background, I found it necessary to reassess my initial skepticism. The book’s content, despite its unassuming title, turned out to be insightful and thought-provoking. It serves as a reminder that not all personal development content should be judged by the same standard. As we delve into the key ideas, the question remains: does this material deserve your trust and attention? The Role of Trust in Global Culture Trust can be a challenging concept to grasp, especially in cultures where tangible results are often valued more than abstract ideals. In many parts of the world, trust is seen as something that can’t be easily quantified or sold, making it less of a priority in environments where basic needs are still being met. However, trust is far from irrelevant. It plays a constant, though often unrecognized, role in our lives. Think about how past experiences of betrayal or dishonesty have shaped your current relationships. The pain of these experiences might make you hesitant to trust again, leading to a cycle of suspicion and guardedness that can permeate both your personal and professional life. In highly bureaucratic organizations, low trust levels slow down processes and increase costs. When employees feel they must navigate layers of red tape to accomplish even the simplest tasks, it’s clear that trust is in short supply. The lack of trust doesn’t just make work harder; it stifles innovation, demoralizes teams, and hinders progress. The High Cost of Low Trust When trust is low, everything slows down. Processes that should be quick and efficient become bogged down in verification and oversight. Take, for example, the changes in airport security after September 11, 2001. Before the attacks, travelers in the United States could arrive at the airport 30 minutes before a flight and complete all necessary procedures with ease. However, the attacks shattered this trust, leading to the implementation of strict security measures. These were necessary, but they also meant longer wait times and higher costs—both for travelers and airlines. This is a classic example of how diminished trust results in reduced speed and increased costs. Or consider a global example in the tech world: when Pavel Durov, the founder of Telegram, refused to comply with government demands to block opposition groups on the platform, he earned significant public trust. Later, when he launched Telegram, his reputation as a defender of freedom helped the platform gain users quickly, without the need for extensive marketing. His consistent actions reinforced public trust, making it easier for people to adopt his new product. The Trust Dividend Trust operates much like an economic principle—it can either incur a "trust tax" or yield a "trust dividend." When trust is high, it accelerates processes and reduces costs. In contrast, low trust slows everything down and makes every action more expensive, both in time and resources. Think about your personal experiences. Have you ever worked in an environment where trust was so low that every decision required layers of approval? Or perhaps you’ve been in a relationship where trust was so fragile that every disagreement escalated into a major conflict? These scenarios illustrate the high cost of low trust. Conversely, when trust is high, everything becomes easier. People work together more effectively, communication flows freely, and conflicts are resolved quickly. Trust is not just a nice-to-have; it’s a critical component of any successful relationship, whether personal or professional. The Different Levels of Trust Let’s explore how different levels of trust manifest in various settings: 1. Toxic Trust (Very Low Trust): In toxic environments, trust is almost nonexistent. Colleagues see each other as threats, and leadership tries to control every move. This culture breeds hostility, and productivity suffers as a result. In personal relationships, this level of distrust leads to constant arguments, coldness, and a sense of detachment. 2. Low Trust: While less toxic, environments with low trust are still fraught with challenges. Employees may split into factions, engaging in office politics instead of collaboration. In personal relationships, there might be fewer open conflicts, but distrust and suspicion linger, causing tension and emotional distance. 3. Neutral Trust: Here, trust is neither particularly high nor low. Bureaucracy and misunderstandings are common, but they don’t entirely derail progress. In relationships, communication might be civil but lacks depth, with occasional doubts about each other’s motives. 4. High Trust: In these rare environments, trust is robust, allowing for creativity and innovation. Teams collaborate effectively, and mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn rather than reasons to blame. Personal relationships at this level are characterized by mutual respect, support, and a shared commitment to each other’s success. 5. Very High Trust (Optimal Trust): This is the ideal scenario, where trust is so ingrained that it facilitates seamless teamwork and transparent communication. In such environments, individuals are deeply loyal to one another, and their relationships are filled with energy and positivity. These situations are rare, but they represent the pinnacle of what trust can achieve. The Real Question: Are You Paying a Trust Tax or Earning a Trust Dividend? Reflect on your own life—are you paying a trust tax, where low trust is slowing you down and increasing your stress? Or are you earning a trust dividend, where high trust is making your relationships and work life easier and more fulfilling? Trust is not just an abstract concept; it’s a practical tool that can be nurtured and developed. It influences every aspect of your life, from your career to your personal relationships. By understanding and cultivating trust, you can significantly improve the quality of your life. My Final Thoughts Trust is foundational to everything we do, yet it’s often overlooked because it feels intangible. But as we’ve seen, trust is not only real—it’s measurable and has profound effects on our efficiency, relationships, and overall success. The stories of Pavel Durov and the broader implications of trust in both personal and professional settings illustrate how vital it is. It’s important to recognize that trust is not something you either have or don’t have. It’s something you can build, maintain, and even repair. The question is, are you willing to invest in trust? Are you ready to reap the dividends it offers, or will you continue to pay the heavy price of mistrust? Consider where you are today and where you’d like to be. Trust could be the key to unlocking a more successful, harmonious, and fulfilling life.

Intro: This topic hits home for many people. The fear of judgment and the desire for approval are deeply rooted in our development, but breaking free from these can lead to a much more authentic and fulfilling life. By examining our reactions to others, we can uncover our own insecurities and begin to address them. This process isn’t easy, but it’s crucial for personal growth. The journey to self-acceptance is ongoing, but it’s one of the most rewarding paths we can take. ---- Imagine you're invited to a birthday party or a themed event, and you've put a lot of thought into your outfit—down to the smallest details. You're excited and confident, ready to stand out. But then your friend, with whom you’ve planned to go, shows up and reacts with a mix of disbelief and hesitation, saying something like, "You're going in *that*?" They might try to brush it off, saying, "No, it’s fine. Maybe I'm just not getting it. Let’s go." In that moment, how would you feel? Would you start doubting your sense of style, your costume choice, or even your friend? Would you change your outfit, stay true to your original plan, or maybe withdraw altogether? The possibilities are endless, and this scenario serves as a quick test of your self-esteem. Self-esteem is a vast topic, one that we’ll touch on by exploring how societal opinions influence our behavior and the fear of not conforming when we deeply want to express our authentic selves. The fear of judgment is a significant trigger that affects everyone, but the real question is: How resilient are we to it? Let's break down how we became so vulnerable to public opinion. When we were younger, approval from others was crucial to our survival. Whether adults approved of our behavior directly impacted our quality of life. For example, if you came home from playing outside and tracked mud into the house, you might have been punished by losing TV privileges for a week. Or if you performed poorly on a test, you might have been denied sweets. Children aren't naive; they quickly learn that their well-being is linked to how well they meet the expectations of others, especially adults. Approval meant a more comfortable life—whether that was enjoying a favorite treat or avoiding punishment. This cause-and-effect relationship is a powerful framework that, once established in childhood and reinforced over the years, becomes difficult to dismantle. If we've learned that pleasing others leads to a happy life, why would we suddenly change that approach as adults? It’s akin to learned helplessness, a psychological phenomenon where an individual believes they have no control over a situation due to repeated exposure to negative outcomes. This concept was demonstrated in experiments with dogs, where they were unable to escape a cage with an electrified floor. Even after the barriers were removed, the dogs didn’t try to escape because they had learned that any attempt would fail. Similarly, we might stick to the safety of conforming to societal expectations, even when there’s no longer a real barrier to living freely. Today, let’s challenge that mindset. Let’s recognize that it’s possible to live a joyful, fulfilling life without constantly seeking the approval of others. One crucial idea to understand is that people often project their insecurities onto others. If someone sees something embarrassing or unworthy in you, it likely reflects their own unresolved issues rather than any flaw in you. For instance, you might be in class, wanting to ask a question, but you hesitate, fearing others will think, "What a dumb question." But in reality, while some might think that, others might be relieved you asked because they had the same question but were too shy to voice it. This scenario highlights how the same action—asking a question—can evoke completely different reactions depending on the observer. It’s important to remember that people's reactions often say more about them than about you. If someone criticizes or belittles you for trying something new or stepping out of your comfort zone, it’s likely because they themselves fear failure or ridicule. True self-acceptance means not being overly concerned with either praise or criticism. If you’re overly sensitive to what others think, whether positive or negative, you’re still letting public opinion dictate your self-worth. To build resilience against this, try this exercise: Form an opinion about something—a movie, a piece of art, or a person—and then discuss it with a friend. Pay attention to whether your opinion changes during the conversation and why. This can reveal how much external influences shape your beliefs. Another key element is mindfulness—being aware of your thoughts and why you hold them. This awareness can help you understand not only your reactions but also those of others. It’s like having a map to navigate social interactions more effectively, especially when dealing with impulsive behaviors. Let me share a personal story to illustrate this. I recently noticed that I had been silently judging a former classmate who started creating content online. Her style is a bit awkward, perhaps due to a limited vocabulary or nervousness, and I found myself watching her videos with a sense of superiority. But then I stopped to ask myself, "Why am I so bothered by her attempts?" The truth hit me hard—I was projecting my own fear of not being articulate enough, of failing to present my ideas clearly. My criticism of her was really a reflection of my own insecurities. This realization was humbling. It reminded me that our negative judgments of others often mirror the things we fear or dislike about ourselves. If you find yourself annoyed by someone who confidently expresses themselves or stands out, it might be because you wish you could do the same but feel held back. In conclusion, our reactions to others and our susceptibility to public opinion reveal much about our internal struggles. The more we understand and accept ourselves, the less we need to rely on the validation of others. True self-esteem comes from within and involves embracing all parts of ourselves, not just the ones that society approves of.

This reflection on evil sheds light on how subtle and insidious it can be. The most chilling aspect is that evil often hides behind the guise of righteousness, making it difficult to recognize until it’s too late. It’s a powerful reminder of the importance of vigilance, self-awareness, and the continuous pursuit of moral growth. Understanding these signs can help us protect ourselves and others from the harm that unchecked evil can cause. Ultimately, it calls for us to remain committed to learning and improving, as that’s the path to truly counteracting the effects of evil. ----- I've often encountered evil, and what’s interesting is that every time it happened, I only recognized it as evil in hindsight—when it was too late to change anything. It was only in the rearview mirror, so to speak, that I saw it for what it truly was. By then, all I could do was regret not responding to it as I should have. Most of the time, I blamed myself for not saying the right thing, not doing the right thing, or not reacting in the right way. I’ve met people with an incredible ability to intuitively recognize evil immediately. These people always knew when circumstances gave them the right to cross a line they wouldn’t normally cross. I never had that ability. Once, after yet another situation where I replayed in my mind how I should have responded, I decided that this couldn't continue. I resolved to create a list—a cheat sheet of sorts—of the signs of evil so that I could recognize it not when it was too late, but when there was still time to act. I've been keeping this list for years, and today, I want to share with you six signs of evil that have helped me recognize it in both myself and others. 1. Evil Believes It Is Good No one sets out to commit evil. No one wakes up thinking, "I want to do something evil today." Evil survives by disguising itself as good. It fights for justice, seeks revenge for pain, or wants to make others see the error of their ways. People don’t commit evil because they feel invincible; they do it because they believe they are right. That’s why dealing with evil is so difficult—it genuinely believes it’s doing good. This belief is so sincere, so strong, that it’s tempting to treat it with understanding and respect. But you can’t reason with evil or convince it that it’s wrong. If you encounter evil, your priority should be to protect yourself, not to argue with it. 2. Evil Is Always Violent Evil never negotiates; it is always aggressive, seeking to achieve its goals at the expense of others. Violence isn’t just physical—it's any action that forces someone to go against their will or desires, whether through threats, manipulation, or deceit. Ask yourself: who, in what circumstances, forces you to act against your will? Every instance of this is a form of violence. Although there are rare cases where violence might be justified, unjustified violence is far more common. Remember, it’s not the goals that define evil, but the methods used to achieve them. 3. Evil Speaks in Generalizations Evil needs justification for its violence, and it often finds it in generalizations. It doesn’t address you personally but rather a category it has placed you in—based on age, gender, nationality, profession, or social status. Evil assigns qualities to you based on these categories: stingy, aggressive, lazy. If someone discusses your character rather than the circumstances, it’s time to defend yourself. 4. Evil Thrives in the Gap Between Perception and Reality Evil flourishes in the space between how things should be and how they actually are. It doesn't respect reality and always tries to reshape it through violence to fit its ideals. Evil’s goal is to deny reality the right to define itself. 5. Evil Is Lazy Evil always takes the easiest route. It’s easier to lie than to tell the truth, easier to break a promise than to keep it, easier to force than to persuade. Doing good requires effort; evil does not. Often, those who cause pain do so because they don’t want to invest the time and energy to resolve a problem in any other way. 6. Evil Is Ignorant of Goodness Choosing between good and evil isn’t a matter of decision but of skill. Evil requires no learning; it just happens. Goodness, however, is something we must learn throughout our lives. The fundamental difference between good and evil is the willingness to learn and strive to be better.

I took it from our LinkedIn Page. ERICK SCHMIDT SAID THAT GOOGLE LOST TO OPENAI. WHY AND MAY BE HE IS WRONG (WITH REASONING). He said that in highly competitive fields, the intense drive and long hours typically found in startups and traditional office settings are crucial for staying ahead. He believes that this relentless work ethic is what fuels rapid progress and keeps companies at the cutting edge of innovation. According to Schmidt, when companies prioritize work-life balance, such as flexible working hours or remote work, they risk losing the momentum needed to lead in fast-moving industries. However, at Flexian.me we believe while this approach might push companies forward in the short term, it raises important concerns about sustainability and employee well-being. Overworking employees can lead to burnout, decreased morale, and eventually cause talent to leave, which in turn could slow down progress. Moreover, it’s important to recognize that long hours do not necessarily equate to productive hours. Simply putting in more time doesn’t always translate into meaningful progress, especially if employees are exhausted or disengaged. What’s truly needed is a balance - a work environment that encourages both intense focus and adequate rest. Innovation thrives not just on hard work, but on smart, efficient work that values both productivity and the well-being of the team. Companies that manage to strike this balance are more likely to sustain their innovative edge in the long run, keeping their employees motivated and their progress steady. The challenge lies in fostering a culture that pushes boundaries while also respecting the limits of human. ---- So, regular people try to get some balance, but leaders want to work more, more and more... Interesting.

Journeying Within: The Art of Active Imagination I remember the first time I truly delved into the practice of active imagination - it was as if I had unlocked a secret door within myself. This isn’t just about closing your eyes and letting your mind wander. No, it’s far more profound than that. Active imagination is a powerful method for accessing the unconscious, a technique that can bring together the fragmented parts of who we are into a more integrated, whole self. It’s like a dream, but here’s the twist - you’re fully awake. The first time I tried it, I was skeptical. How could I access those deep, hidden parts of myself without slipping into the haze of sleep? But as I sat in a quiet room, I let my thoughts take the lead. I started with an image—a vivid picture from a dream I couldn’t shake. I focused on it, and slowly, it began to change. The colors shifted, and the shapes transformed, almost as if I were watching a painting come to life. What struck me most was how different this felt from mere daydreaming. In daydreams, the mind wanders aimlessly, like a leaf floating on a stream. But here, I was an active participant. I was walking through this inner landscape, fully aware, fully engaged, and the images before me started to speak—not in words, but in a language of symbols and emotions that I had to decode. I wasn’t alone in this exploration. Carl Jung, the pioneering psychologist, had walked this path long before me. His journey began in 1913 during a period of deep personal turmoil. He called it his “confrontation with the unconscious,” a time when he deliberately engaged with the images that surfaced from within. One of his most intense visions involved falling into darkness, where he encountered streams of blood and a sea of corpses—a vision that foreshadowed the horrors of World War I. Jung recorded these experiences in what later became known as the *Red Book*, a work he kept private for decades. When I think about Jung’s experiences, I can’t help but marvel at his courage. He didn’t shy away from the darkness within him. Instead, he faced it head-on, knowing that the path to wholeness required a dialogue with these hidden parts of the self. And this is where active imagination differs so greatly from passive fantasy. It’s not about sitting back and letting your mind drift. It’s about diving in with intention, exploring these inner figures as if they were real, because in a sense, they are. In one of my early sessions, I encountered a figure that both fascinated and terrified me. It was a shadowy presence, elusive yet persistent. I could feel a sense of conflict just below the surface, something I couldn’t quite name but knew was there. I decided to confront this figure, asking it directly, “Who are you? What do you want from me?” To my surprise, the figure didn’t answer in words but through a shift in imagery. The darkness lifted slightly, revealing a landscape I hadn’t seen before. It was both a relief and a challenge because I realized I was only beginning to scratch the surface of what lay beneath. As I continued to practice active imagination, I learned the importance of recording these inner dialogues. Writing down what I experienced not only helped me remember but also allowed me to process the emotions and insights that surfaced. It was as if I was giving form to the formless, bringing these unconscious elements into the light of day. But there was something even more transformative about this process—bringing it into the physical world through ritual. After one particularly intense session, I felt the need to ground the experience. I decided to take a long walk in the woods, focusing on the textures and colors of the trees around me. I even paused to examine the bark of an old oak tree, tracing the patterns with my fingers. It was a simple act, but it felt profound. I was connecting with the physical world in a way that mirrored the inner journey I had just undertaken. Jung often emphasized the need for such rituals. He would spend years meticulously creating his *Red Book*, decorating it with calligraphy and images that captured his inner experiences. For him, this was not just a creative outlet but a way to honor the insights he had gained from the unconscious. I found that my own rituals, though less grand, served a similar purpose. They anchored me, helping to integrate what I had learned into my everyday life. Active imagination taught me that the unconscious is not just a passive reservoir of forgotten memories or unacknowledged desires. It’s a dynamic, living part of us, constantly interacting with our conscious mind. The figures and images that arise in this practice are not mere fantasies—they are aspects of ourselves that demand recognition and engagement. One of the most challenging aspects of active imagination is navigating the ethical terrain it opens up. As I engaged with these inner figures, I realized they represented powerful, often primal forces. Some were aligned with my conscious values, while others seemed indifferent, even antagonistic, to them. This is where the ego comes into play—not as a domineering force but as a mediator, ensuring that the creative energy unleashed in active imagination is channeled constructively. There was a moment when I encountered a particularly wise figure during one of these sessions. It offered guidance that felt both insightful and unsettling. The figure suggested a course of action that, on the surface, seemed reasonable, but something within me hesitated. I realized that while these inner figures hold wisdom, they don’t always have the final say. The ego, with its capacity for reflection and ethical discernment, must also play its part. Over time, I learned that active imagination isn’t about giving in to every impulse or image that arises. It’s about engaging in a dialogue, sometimes even a negotiation, with these parts of ourselves. And this dialogue isn’t just a mental exercise—it has real implications for how we live our lives. As I continue to explore this practice, I’ve found that it’s essential to integrate these experiences into my daily routine. Whether it’s through a small ritual, like lighting a candle, or a creative act, like painting or writing, these physical expressions help solidify the inner work. They remind me that the journey into the unconscious isn’t just about understanding myself better—it’s about living more fully, more authentically, in the world. Reflecting on the Journey: Engaging with the unconscious through active imagination is not for the faint of heart. It requires courage, patience, and a willingness to confront aspects of ourselves that we might prefer to ignore. But the rewards are profound. It’s a journey that leads not only to self-discovery but to a deeper sense of wholeness and connection with the world around us. As I’ve walked this path, I’ve also found value in another practice that offers similar rewards but in a more grounded, everyday way—gardening. Just like active imagination, gardening connects me to something deeper within myself. It’s a meditative practice that requires patience, attention, and care. Watching a seed grow into a plant, tending to it, nurturing it, is a tangible reminder of the cycles of growth and renewal that also happen within us. Gardening, like active imagination, is about engaging with life on a deeper level. It’s about recognizing the interconnectedness of all things and finding joy in the process of creation. Whether I’m tending to my garden or exploring the landscapes of my inner world, I’m reminded that both are essential to living a balanced, fulfilling life.

Motivation is a cyclical phenomenon, marked by ups, peaks, and inevitable downturns. It's impossible to always be at your peak, and it's crucial to understand and accept this reality. In this article, we'll explore the stages of motivation and how they affect us. This is why I recommend you to read or watch my post / video about the power of intrinsic motivation. Why Does Motivation Fade? 3 Key Factors 1. Shifting Priorities: When we start something new, like picking up a hobby such as painting, it can feel exhilarating. This initial excitement often pushes other areas of our lives—family, work, studies, health—into the background. However, over time, these responsibilities resurface, demanding attention. You might find yourself needing to focus more on work or spending time with loved ones, which naturally shifts your focus away from painting. As these other aspects take precedence, your motivation for the hobby might cool down and diminish. 2. Unexpected Challenges: Life is unpredictable, and unforeseen circumstances can drastically affect our motivation. Stress, sudden work deadlines, illness, or emotional issues can consume our energy and shift our priorities. When faced with such challenges, your once-passionate dedication to painting might seem less important as you focus on managing the crisis at hand. 3. Loss of Interest: If you're pursuing something out of obligation rather than genuine interest, it can quickly become tedious. If painting starts to feel like a chore rather than a joy, your motivation will naturally wane. This is a critical point where many people might give up altogether. The Plateau Stage In any pursuit, there comes a time when progress seems to stall—a plateau where it feels like you're not improving despite your efforts. For instance, you might feel like you're endlessly practicing brush strokes or color blending techniques, but your paintings still don't turn out the way you'd like. At the beginning of any hobby, small achievements feel monumental, but as you advance, it becomes harder to notice progress, and the novelty wears off. What to Do When Motivation Drops The Strategy of Small Steps One common mistake is to push yourself even harder, like increasing your painting sessions from one hour to two every day. This can lead to burnout, leaving you feeling exhausted and guilty when you don’t see immediate results. Instead, I recommend adopting a "small steps" approach. Focus on what you can manage right now—maybe just 15 minutes of sketching or working on a small section of a painting. The key is to avoid self-criticism and accept that this is where you are at the moment, and that's okay. Don't force yourself to paint if you’re not feeling up to it. Give yourself permission to rest. Celebrate each small step you take and acknowledge your minor successes. For instance, if you learned a new shading technique and used it in your next painting, take a moment to appreciate that achievement. This gradual approach can reignite your motivation. Adding Variety Repetition can be dull. To keep things interesting, try incorporating new activities into your routine. For example, instead of just working on your usual projects, try experimenting with a different medium, like watercolors if you're used to oils. You could also take a break from your usual style and paint something completely out of your comfort zone, like abstract art if you usually paint landscapes. If you're learning without a mentor, explore online resources - blogs, YouTube channels, or social media accounts that focus on various aspects of art, from technique tutorials to art history. Engaging in art communities, like joining a local painting club or participating in online art challenges, can also help reignite your passion. Seeing others' work and sharing your own can provide fresh inspiration and motivation. Another tip is to choose a project that’s slightly below your current skill level. This can be a great confidence booster as you’ll likely find it easier and more enjoyable, reminding you of how far you’ve come and making the process more satisfying. Final Thoughts It's normal to lose motivation in any endeavor, whether it's due to shifting priorities, unexpected challenges, or a loss of interest. Remember that motivation operates in cycles, like a spiral. If you push through the low points without giving up, you’ll eventually regain your enthusiasm and energy, emerging stronger and more motivated. In any creative pursuit, maintaining motivation is a journey. Understanding that it’s natural to experience highs and lows allows you to be kinder to yourself during the tough times. Use intrinsic motivation (see the link above). The key is to stay engaged, even in small ways, and to keep things fresh and exciting. By adopting a flexible mindset and being open to change, you can keep your passion alive and continue growing in your chosen hobby. Whether it’s painting, writing, or any other creative outlet, the ebb and flow of motivation are part of the process, leading you to new heights of personal achievement and fulfillment.

@Anri Thank you for your thoughtful comment! It’s a great question because understanding the difference between valid concerns and fears that hold you back is crucial for making better decisions and moving forward. Here’s a way to approach it: 1. Examine the Evidence - Valid Concerns: These are usually based on evidence or past experiences. If you’ve been in similar situations before and things didn’t go well, your concern might be valid. For example, if you didn’t prepare for a presentation last time and it didn’t go well, that’s a valid concern that preparation needs attention. - Fear-Based Hesitations: These often lack concrete evidence and are more about "what ifs." If your mind is racing with hypothetical worst-case scenarios without any strong reason to believe they’ll actually happen, it’s likely fear talking. 2. Time-Sensitivity - Valid Concerns: These typically relate to long-term consequences. If not addressed, they might lead to significant setbacks or missed opportunities. For instance, worrying about whether you’re qualified for a job might be valid if you lack key skills. - Fear-Based Hesitations: These are often urgent and paralyzing but less impactful in the long run. Worrying that people might laugh at you for a minor mistake in a meeting is more likely driven by fear than an actual problem that needs attention. 3. Impact on Your Life - Valid Concerns: Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a year?” Valid concerns usually have the potential to affect your life in a significant way if not addressed. - Fear-Based Hesitations: These are often fleeting and less likely to have a long-term impact. They’re more about discomfort in the moment rather than lasting consequences. 4. Gut Feeling vs. Rational Thinking - Valid Concerns: These tend to hold up under rational thinking. If you can discuss the concern with a trusted friend or mentor, and they agree that it’s something worth considering, then it’s likely valid. - Fear-Based Hesitations: These often don’t make sense when you say them out loud or when you take a moment to think through them logically. If your gut feeling is driven by fear, it may be more about avoiding discomfort than addressing a real issue. 5. Take Small Steps Forward - Test the waters: If you’re unsure whether a concern is valid or fear-based, take a small step forward. If it’s a valid concern, you’ll gather more information to make a better decision. If it’s fear-based, you’ll often find that the fear diminishes as you take action. Remember, it’s natural to have concerns and fears, but the key is not letting them hold you back. By evaluating them with these strategies, you can start moving toward the life you want, step by step. Hope this helps!

@Anri I'm really glad you loved the post! It sounds like you've had a meaningful journey with integrating gratitude into your daily life. It's true that, like any skill, it takes practice and dedication to make it a natural part of your routine. The way you’ve described the balance between optimism and acknowledging challenges is spot on—it's not about pretending everything is perfect but about choosing to see the positive even when things are tough. As for integrating these practices, especially during challenging times, I think it’s about starting small and being consistent. Here are a few ideas: Start with Micro-Gratitude: When obstacles feel overwhelming, even the smallest gestures of gratitude can make a difference. It might be as simple as being thankful for a warm cup of coffee or a few minutes of quiet in the morning. Over time, these small moments add up and create a more positive outlook, even in tough times. Create a Gratitude Anchor: Tie your gratitude practice to something you already do daily. For instance, while brushing your teeth or during your morning commute, mentally list a few things you’re grateful for. This way, it becomes a seamless part of your routine. Mindful Breaks: When facing a significant obstacle, take a short break to reflect on what’s going well or what lesson might be hidden within the challenge. This doesn’t mean ignoring the problem but rather giving yourself a moment to regroup with a positive mindset. Faith as a Foundation: If faith is part of your life, leaning into it during tough times can be incredibly grounding. Whether it’s through prayer, meditation, or reading spiritual texts, these practices can help remind you that challenges are temporary and that there’s always something to be grateful for. Gratitude Journaling: Even when life gets chaotic, keeping a small journal by your bed or in your bag can help you jot down a few things you’re thankful for each day. It’s a great way to end the day on a positive note, no matter what happened. These practices don’t need to take up a lot of time but can make a big difference in how you approach each day, especially when you’re dealing with difficult situations. It's like building a muscle—the more you practice, the stronger your resilience and positivity become. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I’d love to hear how you continue to integrate these practices into your routine!

How to Become an Optimist In this world, there's nothing inherently bad—everything depends on our mindset. A pessimist might be considered blind, as their outlook can ruin their own life and affect those around them. How we respond to failure is crucial; thinking positively can lead to positive outcomes and directly influences our health. Interestingly, external circumstances don't dictate our mood—true mental health comes from within. Israel, for example, is ranked as one of the happiest countries in the world. What's the secret behind this? Some people always see the glass as half full, while others see it as half empty. These are the optimists and pessimists. But can we shift our perspective to become more optimistic and lead a happier life? Let's explore this together. Why is optimism a cornerstone of Judaism? Because at the heart of Judaism is faith in God, who is the ultimate source of goodness. When we trust that everything comes from God, nothing bad can truly happen to us. Our day should start with gratitude, acknowledging all the blessings God has given us. By doing so, even the smallest inconveniences can't spoil our mood, as we remember the bigger picture—our life, family, friends, and even the sun and moon are gifts from God. If we focus on gratitude from the very beginning of our day, it's difficult to let minor setbacks disrupt our peace of mind. Judaism encourages us to regularly express gratitude, not just as a meditation but as a vocal acknowledgment to God. This practice of daily thankfulness helps ensure that minor issues don’t derail our overall sense of well-being. After all, God has given us life, family, friends, and a home—should we let a single bad detail ruin our day? The Jewish people have endured immense suffering, and it’s only through optimism that they’ve survived and thrived for thousands of years. Take the philosopher and Rabbi Maimonides (Rambam) as an example. Despite facing many hardships, including fleeing from persecution and losing his brother, Rambam remained an unwavering optimist. His writings reveal a deep belief that everything is ultimately good; it all depends on how we set our minds. Even in the face of trials, there is something positive to be found. Practical Advice on Becoming an Optimist: Connect with God: The most effective way to cultivate optimism is to strengthen your relationship with God. Through studying the Torah, observing commandments, and most importantly, bringing joy to others, one can find a source of enduring happiness. This is a proven recipe for optimism. Shift Your Focus: Stop thinking solely about yourself and start focusing on the joy and well-being of others. Create a family, work hard to provide for them, and you will find a deep sense of joy that transcends any material concerns. Learn from Experience: While some people are born optimists, most of us have to work on it. Through religious teachings and spiritual practices, anyone can develop a more positive outlook. Seek Help if Needed: If someone struggles with deep-seated pessimism, professional help may be necessary. Pessimism, when unchecked, can blind a person to the beauty of life. Recognizing the abundance of good in the world naturally fosters optimism. Start Each Day with Gratitude: Begin your day by thanking God for everything in your life, from the smallest details to the biggest blessings. This sets a positive tone and makes it easier to handle the day’s challenges. React Positively to Challenges: Don't let a single setback take over your life. Keep in mind that every difficulty is temporary and that things will improve in the future. By focusing on the good and not letting failure consume you, you maintain a hopeful outlook. Why Do Optimists Sometimes Annoy Others? People who can't fully experience joy themselves may find optimists irritating, believing their happiness to be fake. However, genuine happiness is very real for those who have learned how to truly celebrate life. Those who lack this ability often see the world through a negative lens, which can be challenging to overcome without intentional effort. Coping with Tragedy and Stress: In times of grief or stress, it’s important to allow oneself to process the emotions rather than suppress them. Surrounding oneself with supportive people who can provide comfort and perspective is crucial. It’s also important to remember that, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges, optimism can be a powerful tool for recovery. Final Thoughts: Optimism is more than just a mindset; it’s a practice that requires daily effort. By focusing on the good, expressing gratitude, and maintaining a strong connection to God, we can cultivate a sense of joy and resilience that carries us through life’s ups and downs. In my view, adopting an optimistic outlook is one of the most valuable skills one can develop. It's not just about feeling good—it's about building the strength to face life's inevitable challenges with grace and hope. Optimism doesn't mean ignoring problems; it means believing that, with the right mindset, we can overcome them and find meaning and joy in the process. The stories of those who have faced immense challenges and remained hopeful, like Maimonides, serve as powerful reminders that optimism is not just wishful thinking—it's a strategy for living a fulfilled and resilient life.

Great post! I love how you’ve connected Bradbury’s story to the idea of the butterfly effect in our everyday lives. It really is fascinating (and a little daunting) to think about how much power even our smallest choices can hold. One thought that comes to mind is how this concept plays out in our relationships and personal development. Sometimes, the small gestures - like a kind word, offering help, or even just listening - can have a profound impact on someone’s day or even their life. We often don’t realize how much these small actions can ripple out, affecting not just the person we interacted with but also the people they then interact with, and so on. It’s a powerful reminder that positive actions can create a chain reaction, just as much as negative ones can. By being mindful and intentional with our words and actions, we can contribute to a more positive environment around us—both personally and in our communities. Also, on a more personal level, when it comes to self-growth, the butterfly effect is a reminder that change doesn’t always have to be drastic to be meaningful. Small, consistent efforts - like daily journaling, mindfulness practices (Breathing Technics and Physical Activity), or even just choosing to react differently in a challenging situation - can lead to significant personal transformation over time. So, in a way, while the butterfly effect warns us about unintended consequences, it also gives us hope. It shows us that even the smallest steps forward can lead to big changes, which is pretty inspiring if you ask me!

There was a time when I often told myself that I was content with my life, that I was happy. But deep down, I couldn’t quite believe it. I think many of us feel this way - we sense that our life, as it is, is our happiness, yet we’re scared to fully accept that truth. Why? Because admitting this would mean letting go of control, recognizing that we can’t dictate every detail of our journey. This realization was daunting for me. To believe that my life is my happiness meant diving into the unpredictable flow of events, trusting that whatever happens is part of that happiness. But that’s terrifying because it means acknowledging that things might not always go as planned. What if I’m setting myself up for disappointment? What if I let go, only to find that I was wrong? This fear kept me in a cycle of hesitation. I would tell myself, “I’ll give it a try,” but deep down, I knew that trying was just a way to keep that back door open, a way to retreat if things didn’t go well. After all, life had taught me that things don’t always work out, and I had suffered enough to know that failure was a real possibility. Every time I approached a new goal or phase in life with the mindset of "trying," I was already preparing for the possibility of failure, holding back from fully committing to the idea that my life, in all its uncertainties, could embody happiness. It wasn’t until I began to understand the difference between "trying" and "doing" that things began to shift for me. Trying is full of doubt and hesitation. It’s a way of protecting ourselves from the pain of failure by not fully committing. But doing - Doing means embracing life fully, without reservation, without that safety net of doubt. It means trusting that our life, with all its unpredictability, is indeed our happiness. When I started to shift my perspective and stopped telling myself, “I’ll try,” and began saying, “I will,” I noticed a change. I was no longer just testing the waters - I was diving in fully. I stopped being afraid to believe that my life, in all its complexity, could be my happiness. And in that acceptance, I found a deeper sense of fulfillment. So if you find yourself stuck in that cycle of doubt, afraid to fully embrace your life as your happiness, I encourage you to take that leap. Stop trying and start doing. Accept that your life, with all its uncertainties, is your happiness. Trust that everything happening to you is part of that truth. It’s scary, I know, but it’s in that leap of faith that we break free from doubt and truly start living. I recommend you to read a post about Uncertain Future

Imagine you're climbing a mountain. At the base, there are crowds of people cheering you on, handing you supplies, and giving you all sorts of advice. Every time you reach a checkpoint, they applaud and offer more rewards. This is exciting, even motivating - at first. But as you climb higher, the crowds thin out, the cheers grow fainter, and you start to feel the weight of the journey. What happens when the summit is still far away, and there’s no one left to applaud your efforts? Do you keep climbing, or do you stop and wonder why you started in the first place? This mountain is a metaphor for your goals, and the people cheering you on represent extrinsic motivation - the external rewards and validation that drive so much of what we do. But what happens when those external motivators fade away, or they no longer feel satisfying? That’s where intrinsic motivation comes into play, and it’s the kind of fuel that doesn’t run out. The Allure of External Validation Let’s follow the journey of someone who, like many of us, started climbing that mountain fueled by extrinsic motivation. Meet Maria. In her early twenties, Maria had a clear vision of what success looked like. She wanted the prestigious job, the impressive resume, the admiration of her peers, and the financial rewards that came with it. And for a while, that worked. She received promotions, accolades, and pay raises. Each one was a checkpoint on her climb, and every bit of recognition spurred her on. But after years of climbing, something shifted. The promotions didn’t feel as thrilling, the accolades felt hollow, and the money, while nice, wasn’t bringing her the happiness she expected. Maria found herself standing on a ledge, halfway up the mountain, wondering why she was climbing at all. The cheers from below had faded, and she was left alone with her thoughts. The Downside of Chasing External Rewards Maria’s story is all too common. When we chase external rewards - whether it’s money, status, or recognition - we often lose sight of why we started in the first place. The initial excitement can carry us for a while, but it’s not sustainable in the long run. Why? Because extrinsic motivation relies on things outside of our control. What happens when the promotions stop coming, or the praise dries up? What if the goals we’re chasing aren’t aligned with what truly matters to us? This is where the risk of burnout and disconnection comes in. Maria started to feel like her accomplishments were just items on a checklist, rather than meaningful milestones. She was no longer climbing for herself but for the approval of others. And when that approval no longer brought her joy, she felt lost. Rediscovering Intrinsic Motivation But Maria’s story doesn’t end there. She had a choice: she could keep climbing for the sake of it, or she could find a new reason to keep going - a reason that came from within. This is the heart of intrinsic motivation. One day, while resting on that mountain ledge, Maria looked out at the view. For the first time in years, she wasn’t focused on the summit or on who might be watching her progress. She was simply present, enjoying the moment. In that quiet space, she remembered what had driven her before the world’s expectations took over. She recalled how much she loved solving problems, helping others grow, and learning new things - not because it would lead to a promotion, but because it genuinely excited her. So, Maria made a shift. She started setting goals that aligned with her passions rather than external expectations. She took on projects that challenged her creatively, even if they didn’t come with a big reward. She started volunteering, mentoring others, and learning new skills, simply because it brought her joy. And as she did, something amazing happened: the climb became enjoyable again. She wasn’t driven by the distant summit, but by the journey itself. The Power of Intrinsic Motivation Maria’s story illustrates a powerful truth: Intrinsic motivation is what sustains us when the external rewards fade. It’s what keeps us going when the cheers have died down, and it’s the key to finding long-lasting fulfillment in our goals. Unlike extrinsic motivation, which is dependent on others, intrinsic motivation comes from within and is fueled by our passions, values, and the satisfaction of doing something we truly care about. When you’re driven by intrinsic motivation, your goals become more than just checkpoints on a climb—they become expressions of who you are and what you love. And that kind of motivation doesn’t just help you reach the summit; it makes the entire journey worthwhile. Finding Your Own Path If you find yourself questioning the worth of your goals, like Maria did, take a moment to pause. Look around and ask yourself: Why am I climbing this mountain? What do I truly care about? Are my goals aligned with my passions, or am I chasing someone else’s definition of success? By reconnecting with your intrinsic motivation, you can rediscover the joy in your journey. Whether it’s pursuing a passion project, learning for the sake of learning, or helping others without expecting anything in return, let your inner drive guide you. Because when your motivation comes from within, the climb becomes less about reaching the top and more about enjoying every step along the way. Audio version of the post (you need to be a registered member for listening) Heart-of-motivation.mp3

Imagine someone like Sarah, a 38-year-old who’s been working tirelessly in her career for years. She’s always done what she believed was the right thing: work hard, save diligently, and avoid risks. Yet, she finds herself stuck in a rut, wondering why she hasn’t reached the financial stability she dreamed of. She’s haunted by the belief that if she hasn’t made it by now, she never will. Sarah grew up in a family where money was seen as a scarce resource, something to be hoarded and never flaunted. She heard countless stories about how money was the root of all evil, that it corrupts, and that only those born into wealth could ever truly be rich. These beliefs, deeply ingrained in her, held her back from even daring to think that she could be wealthy. She didn’t realize it, but she was subconsciously sabotaging herself, believing that wealth was reserved for others, not for someone like her. One day, Sarah attended a workshop on financial literacy. It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to educate herself about money, but something was different this time. The speaker, an entrepreneur who had built a business from scratch, spoke not just about the mechanics of making money but about the psychology of it. He explained that many people, like Sarah, are trapped by irrational beliefs—myths, really—that keep them from even trying to achieve financial success. He said something that struck a chord with her: “You don’t dream of money itself; you dream of what money can bring.” For Sarah, this was a revelation. She realized that she had been focusing on the wrong thing all along. She had been so fixated on the numbers—how much she had, how much she needed—that she forgot to think about what she actually wanted from life. When she allowed herself to dream, not of money, but of the life she wanted to live—a cozy home by the beach, the freedom to travel, a secure future for her family—she felt a new sense of motivation. These were tangible goals, things that made her heart race with excitement. But it wasn’t just about dreaming. The speaker emphasized the importance of being prepared and ready when opportunities arise. Sarah thought back to all the times she had been too afraid to take a risk, too unsure of herself to seize an opportunity. She realized that she had been waiting for some magical moment when she would feel "deserving" of success, but that moment never came. The speaker’s words echoed in her mind: "Three things fulfill a dream—when you're deserving, prepared, and ready to seize the opportunity." She knew she had to change her mindset. I recommend you to read the posts about the role of chance Sarah began to take small, calculated steps toward her new goals. She started by investing in her own skills, learning about areas she had previously avoided, like entrepreneurship and investing. She understood that smart action—like the story of the Soviet physicist who fixed a complex machine with a single hammer blow—was more valuable than just working harder. It was about knowing where to apply her effort and having the expertise to make it count. As Sarah learned more, she also began to see the bigger picture. She noticed how successful businesses weren’t just selling products; they were creating lifestyles, even mythologies. Brands like Apple didn’t just sell gadgets - they sold a way of life, a sense of belonging. She started thinking about how she could apply this to her own aspirations. What if she could create something that resonated with people on a deeper level, something that wasn’t just about the money but about adding value to others' lives? This shift in thinking opened up new possibilities for her. Yet, Sarah remained grounded. The concept of karma resonated with her deeply, reminding her that wealth gained dishonestly comes at a cost. She vowed to build her future with integrity, knowing that true success wouldn’t just be about the numbers in her bank account but about the life she could live with a clear conscience. She started paying more attention to where her money went, not just in terms of expenses but in her investments too. She made sure that the companies she invested in aligned with her values, believing that her money should reflect the kind of world she wanted to support. Over time, Sarah’s mindset shifted completely. She no longer saw wealth as something distant or unattainable. She realized that financial goals started not with just saving or cutting costs, but with a clear vision of where she wanted to go and what she wanted to achieve. She began to live as if she already had the life she dreamed of, confident that the universe would respond to her belief in herself. Her journey was far from over, but Sarah now approached each day with a new sense of purpose. She was no longer just watching the ball—she was aiming for the goal. With each step, she moved closer to the life she had once thought was only for others. Now, she knew it was within her reach, because she had learned the most important lesson of all: wealth wasn’t about the money; it was about the life she built with it.

@Alisa I also would like to add a link on the post about Happiness. Have a look, I think you will be surprised.

So, you want to become smarter. In most countries, you’re told that to achieve this, you need 12 years of school, followed by 4 years of university, and then possibly another 6 years of doctoral and postgraduate studies. This is supposedly the path to intelligence, but in reality, it often just leads to more challenges and uncertainty, including potentially ending up jobless. This isn't a joke, but a harsh truth many face. If you haven’t already figured it out from the title, becoming smart isn’t as complicated as society makes it out to be. Even if you think your genetics make you less intelligent, compared to the rest of the animal kingdom, you’re far ahead. When people like us say we want to become smarter, we’re often aiming for different things. We want to learn useful skills, ideally those that can make us money. We want to solve problems and hope to be compensated for it. We aim for high grades in difficult subjects to earn more money and please others. Lastly, we want to seem smart in conversations—smart enough to earn respect, but not so much that we come across as nerds. The problem is, most advice on the internet is so vague and philosophical that only exceptional people like Oprah or Socrates can truly follow it. But if you’re looking for concrete advice you can try right now, here’s what you’ll find: eat blueberries because they’re brain food, drink black coffee, exercise, get more sleep, take IQ tests, listen to classical music. All of this sounds good, but at some point, you actually need to learn something. Tips like these are almost useless. For example, in the past, there were geniuses who spent their entire day sitting at a desk, often sleeping only 2 to 4 hours a night. They had no IQ tests, drank little coffee, and knew nothing about the benefits of blueberries. So, what can you actually do to get smarter? No, it’s not the same six brain hacks you’ve seen on social media or copied-pasted Wikipedia articles with inspirational quotes drawn on a wall in a metro station. The most important thing you need to do is simple: read. What you should read depends on your situation. Fiction helps you read faster and expands your vocabulary, plus reading dialogues can give you a sense that you’re not alone and have friends. However, most people prefer non-fiction and then unethically toss around interesting facts and knowledge in conversations that they’ve picked up from reading. For example, by just reading a certain book, you can approach anyone with a bit of historical knowledge and have an engaging conversation, as long as you’re not too pushy. It’s amazing how we’ve evolved from chimpanzees, right? Well, evolution isn’t linear, and several human-like species existed on Earth simultaneously, none of which could be considered chimpanzees. But while it’s polite to correct someone in a YouTube comment section, saying “Well, actually…” in real life instantly makes you less attractive. Instead, replace “Well, actually” with “It turns out” and adjust your tone. This can completely change the conversation. Let’s redo that dialogue: “It’s amazing how we evolved from chimpanzees, right?” “It’s crazy, isn’t it? You know, I was reading the other day, and it turns out that humans and chimpanzees evolved alongside each other, rather than from one another.” You can be both smart and humble while sounding like you really know what you’re talking about. The key is to share your knowledge without making others feel stupid. This way, people will actually learn from you and start to see you as an intelligent and respected person. But how do you find the right books? It’s simple. You don’t need to read the same five books everyone recommends. Just think of a topic you’d like to learn about, say cleaning. Now, search Google for books on cleaning. Here’s one that looks good. Usually, such books cost money, but if your finger accidentally slips, you might find yourself on a certain site where you can enter the title of the book you need and find what you’re looking for. Then, you might accidentally click the first link and, oh no, accidentally download a file and open it with an e-book reader. You get the idea. Now you have the book. As you read, you’ll discover not only interesting tidbits to use in conversations but also practical skills. There are a few things you should know before mastering a skill. First, if you don’t practice a skill, your brain will decide it’s useless and forget it. Second, you only need to master 20% of the knowledge to achieve 80% proficiency in a skill. This is generally enough to move forward. This concept is known as the learning curve, which shows how well you master a skill over time. As you can see, you can make significant progress at the beginning if you apply the skill in practice. No one ever learned to tie a tie just by watching someone else do it. You’ll only learn to tie a tie when you start practicing while watching the tutorial. The same goes for reading a book—books only make you smarter if you give your brain a reason to remember what’s written in them. So, after reading a chapter on cleaning your bedroom, go and clean your bedroom. And it doesn’t even have to be your bedroom—just clean any room to cement that knowledge in practice, ensuring it never slips your mind again. But let’s imagine a situation where you can’t immediately apply what you’ve learned. For example, suppose you’re reading a book about cars and come across a diagram showing how to jump-start a car from another vehicle. Ideally, after reading about it, you’d go out and practice, but not everyone has two cars to practice with. However, you can still practice by imagining the process in your mind. Picture a situation where you’ll need to know how to jump-start a car. Put yourself in that situation, find a video, and imagine that it’s your car, visualizing the entire process from start to finish. This way, you’ll convince your brain that you’ve used this information in practice, and now it won’t forget it. Meanwhile, someone who just looked at the diagram and tried to memorize it still won’t know what to do when they need to jump-start a car. This is how you become smarter: by using everything you learn. And if you can’t, then imagine yourself in a situation where that knowledge will come in handy. Essentially, this is how the entire school system works. You learn information bit by bit, and since it might be 15 years before you actually need it, your teacher creates an imaginary situation where that information will be useful. These are the tests and exams that are based on the material you’ve studied. If you answer them incorrectly, you fail. The only problem is that once the test is over, your brain thinks, "I don’t need this anymore," and you promptly forget it. Some people believe that regular repetition, spaced repetition, or mind mapping will help with learning and getting high grades, but in reality, only practice gives you the best results because it reflects real situations where you’ll need to use what you’ve learned. If you don’t have any practical scenarios to apply your knowledge, create your own and convince yourself that the stakes are high. For example, imagine you’re hanging off the edge of a cliff by one hand, and someone needs to pull you up, but only if you can name all the parts of the human body. Learning information and making it seem valuable to your brain - that’s all you need to do to become smart. That’s why textbooks are an S-tier format for becoming smarter as quickly as possible. They don’t have pictures, hints, or distractions - just pure information and tons of practice questions. If you can’t solve them, you’ll have to flip to a specific page to find the answer. Textbooks aren’t for ordinary people because they’re not as fun as watching a YouTube video and forgetting everything an hour later. But if you ever decide to take this leap, it will be your starting point for radically changing your thinking. My Final Thoughts This is a very practical and somewhat unconventional approach to becoming smarter. It challenges the traditional belief that intelligence comes solely from formal education and instead emphasizes the importance of self-directed learning, practical application, and critical thinking. The idea that practice, visualization, and real-world application are essential for retaining knowledge is a powerful message. It encourages active engagement with what you learn rather than passive consumption. The advice to read extensively, choose your learning resources wisely, and apply or imagine applying what you've learned is sound. It highlights that intelligence is not just about acquiring knowledge but also about being able to use it effectively in real-life situations. The text also touches on the importance of humility and effective communication, suggesting that being smart is not just about what you know, but also about how you share and apply that knowledge with others. Overall, this approach is refreshing and grounded in practical wisdom. It’s a reminder that becoming smarter is within everyone’s reach if they are willing to actively engage with what they learn and apply it in meaningful ways.

I love the idea of exploring serendipity as a force that's both random and intentional, a blend of luck and insight that can shape our lives in unexpected ways. But here's the thing—while the concept of serendipity sounds almost magical, it’s not just about stumbling upon good fortune. It’s about being prepared, aware, and ready to act when those random opportunities present themselves. Think about those moments when something completely unplanned shifted your life’s direction. Maybe it was a chance encounter at a coffee shop, a random book you picked up at the library, or even a conversation you overheard that sparked a new idea. The magic lies not just in these events happening, but in how you responded to them. For example, I once found myself stuck in an airport for hours due to a delayed flight. Frustrating, right? But instead of scrolling aimlessly on my phone, I struck up a conversation with the person next to me. That conversation led to a job opportunity that I hadn’t even been looking for. It was a perfect example of serendipity—an accidental but fortunate discovery. This brings me to an interesting question: How can we cultivate more serendipity in our lives? It’s not about being lucky; it’s about being ready. Here are a few ideas: Stay Curious: When you’re genuinely curious, you naturally explore more, ask more questions, and engage with the world in a deeper way. This opens doors to new experiences and connections. Embrace the Unexpected: Sometimes, we get so caught up in our plans that we miss out on spontaneous opportunities. Try saying “yes” to the unexpected more often. You never know where it might lead. Connect the Dots: Often, it’s not about finding something new but seeing something old in a new way. Practice connecting seemingly unrelated ideas, experiences, or knowledge. This can lead to creative breakthroughs. Build Your Toolbox: Serendipity favors the prepared mind. The more skills, knowledge, and experience you have, the more likely you’ll recognize and act on serendipitous moments. Think of it as building a toolbox—each new skill or piece of knowledge is another tool you can use when the opportunity arises. Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever had a serendipitous moment that changed your life? How do you think we can encourage more of these moments? Let’s explore how we can turn the ordinary into something extraordinary.

There’s a reason why you’re not living the life of your dreams, and it’s something almost everyone struggles with. Most people, when they hear this, will recognize it instantly as something that applies to them. This reason explains why you didn’t ask out that person you liked, why you didn’t apply for that job that seemed perfect, or why you haven’t started that blog you’ve been thinking about. The core issue behind all this hesitation and missed opportunities is that you’re too focused on yourself. Let me give you an example. Imagine you’re in a group of people, maybe coworkers or friends. You want to be the life of the party, and the perfect moment comes up to tell a joke or share an interesting story. But instead of seizing the moment, your mind is flooded with doubts. You start questioning whether it’s appropriate, if anyone will find it funny, or if it’ll just fall flat. While you’re stuck in your head, someone else jumps in, makes the joke, and everyone laughs. They get all the praise, and you’re left thinking, “That could’ve been me.” Why did this happen? Both you and the other person thought of the same joke, so it’s not about who’s funnier or smarter. The difference is that your mind added unnecessary steps between your thoughts and actions—steps filled with doubt and fear of judgment. The problem isn’t that you didn’t tell the joke; the problem is that this same mental process affects many areas of your life, slowing you down in your career, relationships, and personal growth. We’re going to work on breaking this pattern. I wanted to create this post because I’m currently going through a tough time myself, dealing with a lot of anxiety. This is completely normal—life is full of ups and downs, and what defines us is not the challenges we face but how we handle them. I’ve recently gone back to therapy after a year-long break, and I’m grateful for the support I can access whenever I need it. Many of you are also dealing with anxiety, and I want to remind you that seeking help is not something to be ashamed of. When you find yourself hesitant to take action, whether it’s asking someone out or applying for a job, it’s often because your mind is fixated on the worst-case scenario. Here’s a practical exercise you can do: take a piece of paper and write down the absolute worst thing that could happen. Then, write down nine alternative outcomes, from the most terrifying to the most positive. This exercise helps you realize that your fear is just one possible outcome among many, and it helps reduce its power over you. Fear and self-doubt can ruin your life if you let them. I know people who spend so much time worrying about what others think or what could go wrong that they miss out on opportunities. They’re so focused on what might happen that they forget to live in the present moment. Intelligence and overthinking can become traps, keeping you from taking action because you’re too busy analyzing every possibility. But life isn’t just about thinking—it’s about doing. You are more than just your thoughts. You’re also defined by your actions, your appearance, your achievements, and your surroundings. When you allow fear and self-doubt to dominate your life, you’re not living authentically. You’re living in a prison of your own making, unable to move forward because you’re too scared of what might happen. Living your dream life doesn’t mean you have to control everything. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. You need to let go of the things that don’t matter and focus on what you can actually influence. Imagine how much easier life would be if you only carried the burdens that truly belong to you. Now, let's talk about societal expectations. We all want to be liked and to leave a good impression, but we often overestimate how much control we have over others’ perceptions. The truth is, only about 20% of how others perceive us is within our control—how we present ourselves and how we behave. The other 80% is filtered through their personal biases and perceptions, which we cannot control. When you start focusing only on what you can control, life becomes simpler. You can make decisions and take actions based on what truly matters, without being paralyzed by the fear of what others might think or what could go wrong. This shift in perspective can significantly reduce your anxiety and free you to live a more fulfilling life. In summary, life is about balancing what you can control with what you can’t. It’s about letting go of unnecessary worries and focusing on the things that truly matter. When you do this, you’ll find that you’re not only more at peace but also more capable of living the life you’ve always dreamed of. Final Thoughts This message resonates deeply with the struggles many of us face. We often become our own biggest obstacles, trapped by our fears and self-doubts. The practical advice here is empowering—learning to let go of what we can’t control and focusing on our own actions is key to unlocking our potential. It’s a reminder that living authentically and pursuing our dreams doesn’t require us to have all the answers or to be perfect. It just requires us to take that first step, to act, and to trust that the rest will follow.

I once knew a girl who had a peculiar way of behaving. She was incredibly charismatic, intelligent, and well-read—a truly fascinating person. However, she could only reveal this side of herself in the presence of close friends and family. The moment she found herself in a larger group with many new faces, surrounded by other interesting and bright individuals, she would seemingly vanish into the background. As soon as we left the party or gathering, she would blossom again. If you’ve noticed similar behavior in yourself, this might resonate with you. Social anxiety is an emotional discomfort that ranges from mild unease to intense fear, often triggered by social interactions or even the anticipation of such interactions. You might not even be interacting with anyone yet; simply the thought of having to introduce yourself in a new group or going on a date can provoke a visceral fear. For some, it’s so overwhelming that they avoid going to stores, using public transportation, or even walking outside. The manifestations of social anxiety are numerous, but they all share one thing in common—they make life more challenging and less enjoyable. Anxiety can take many forms. An anxious person might exhibit a nervous gaze, fidget, or bite their nails. On the other hand, someone else might react by appearing aloof or overly confident, masking their inner turmoil. For example, there was a girl in my school who always had an expression that seemed to say, “In ten years, I’ll be driving a Mercedes while you’re all in prison.” This too can be a manifestation of social anxiety. We all react to stress differently. Let’s tackle our social anxiety by breaking it down. When you experience it, you’re usually dealing with two emotions: anxiety and shame. Anxiety is the worry about things that haven’t happened yet—worrying that you might say something foolish, make an awkward joke, or that others might think you’re strange or unintelligent. Shame, on the other hand, is the feeling that not just your actions, but you as a person, are somehow wrong or unworthy. Unlike guilt, which comes from the belief that you did something wrong, shame tells you that you *are* wrong. Shame is one of the most destructive emotions, as it strikes at the core of who we are. But how do we combat these feelings? First, we need to recognize cognitive distortions—these are the misleading thoughts that distort reality. For instance, I have a friend who’s very charismatic and attractive, used to getting a lot of positive attention. However, when I reacted more reservedly than others to his stories, he assumed something was wrong between us. He imagined that I was upset with him, even though everything was fine. This was a projection of his own insecurities. To avoid cognitive distortions, it's important to stop overthinking others’ reactions and projecting your own fears onto them. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that others’ opinions define us, but that’s simply not true. We often overestimate how much others notice or care about our perceived flaws. In reality, everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives to scrutinize ours as closely as we might think. Another example of a cognitive distortion is seeing things in black and white—good or bad, right or wrong. As I grew older, I realized that life is full of shades of gray. Things are rarely as simple as we make them out to be. You might think being confident is always good and being unsure is always bad, but the truth is more nuanced. There are no perfectly confident people who never experience fear or anxiety. We all have the same basic set of emotions—fear, joy, sadness, anger—just in different intensities. If someone claims they never worry, they’re not being honest with themselves or others. The key is in how we deal with these emotions. Do we berate ourselves for feeling anxious, or do we accept it as a normal part of life? Take beets, for example. Some people might hate them, but did you know beets are used to make sugar and are a key ingredient in dishes like borscht or salads? You might not like beets on their own, but you might enjoy them in certain dishes. This analogy applies to us as well. We are complex and multifaceted, much more so than a beet. You can’t label someone as simply good or bad because they are human and have a range of qualities and emotions. Social anxiety is often tied to the fear of what others think of us, but just because someone might think poorly of you doesn’t mean you are bad. If someone judges you for laughing too loudly or being too sentimental, that says more about them than it does about you. Everyone has the right to their emotions. To help manage social anxiety, try shifting your focus away from yourself and onto others. Notice how they also make mistakes or behave oddly. You’ll see that people aren’t as perfect as you might think, and this realization can be liberating. Remember, when you meet someone new or go on a date, they’re probably just as nervous as you are. Lastly, let’s talk about catastrophizing, which is the tendency to blow things out of proportion. For example, if you receive a poor grade or a harsh critique, you might start spiraling into thoughts of failure, imagining the worst possible outcomes. But remember, one person’s opinion or one negative event doesn’t define your future. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Others may form opinions, but those opinions are not the ultimate truth. When you start catastrophizing, try to ground yourself in reality. The worst-case scenario you’re imagining is likely not going to happen. FInal Thoughts: Social anxiety is a challenge that many people face, often silently. It can be debilitating, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t define you. You are not alone in feeling this way, and with self-awareness and practice, you can manage these feelings and lead a fulfilling life. Recognizing cognitive distortions and challenging them is a powerful tool in overcoming social anxiety. Life isn’t black and white, and neither are you. Embrace your complexity, and allow yourself the grace to be human.