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Olga

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Everything posted by Olga

  1. The Illusion of Simple Solutions People often crave simple solutions, thinking that somewhere out there lies a magic answer that will give them everything they want with minimal effort. But this mindset is one of the most misleading and absurd traps we can fall into. The reality is far different—our world is filled with fierce competition, self-interest, and complex challenges. Quick fixes and simple recipes for success don't exist, no matter how much we wish they did. Believing in simple solutions only sets us up for disappointment. When things don't go as expected, this mindset leaves us feeling frustrated and disillusioned. The alternative is not glamorous, but it's grounded in reality: diving deep into the complexities of the real world, engaging in critical thinking, making hard decisions, and developing the skills necessary to navigate life’s challenges. Those who put in the work to understand how things function, who are willing to endure discomfort and keep learning from their experiences, will be the ones who persevere when life gets tough. On the other hand, those who cling to simplistic answers will find themselves overwhelmed, swept away when the storm hits. The truth is, there’s no shortcut to success or stability. The mindset of "What quick fix can I apply to solve everything?" is not just naive; it’s a recipe for failure. It's an approach doomed to collapse the moment it’s tested by real-world challenges. Thoughts This message resonates deeply with the reality that growth and success require effort, resilience, and a willingness to engage with the complexities of life. Many people fall into the trap of seeking instant gratification, looking for easy answers, and getting frustrated when things don’t fall into place. However, the most meaningful progress often comes through grappling with challenges, learning from mistakes, and pushing through discomfort. The idea of embracing reality instead of chasing illusions is powerful and necessary in a world that often glorifies quick fixes and overnight success stories. It’s a reminder that while hard work, perseverance, and strategic thinking are not easy paths, they are the only paths that truly lead to sustainable growth and fulfillment. What this highlights is the importance of resilience, adaptability, and continuous learning. Those qualities are the real antidotes to failure—not magical, simplistic solutions but rather a grounded, engaged approach to life’s inevitable ups and downs.
  2. "Rich Dad Poor Dad" is a book that has become incredibly popular, often celebrated for its valuable insights. However, while the book captures a significant truth, there’s a nuance that often gets overlooked. People with limited financial means do not think the same way as those who manage large sums of money, run businesses, and utilize other people’s labor and advanced technologies. These differences in thinking are profound and often misunderstood. If you weren’t born into wealth, with parents who handed you a fortune on a silver platter, your journey to success is likely one of personal growth, acquiring professional knowledge, and cultivating the right mindset. Developing this mindset takes time, experience, and an understanding of how to add value to others' lives. Successful individuals think more expansively about their actions and decisions; they see the bigger picture. This mindset is not about a one-time financial gain, but about consistently creating value that others need, whether that’s through products, services, or innovative solutions. Wealthy individuals often view earning money as a structured, technological process involving multiple stages, each with its own significance. Money isn’t just what you earn today; it’s about the future profits you aim to achieve by understanding how to leverage every part of your strategy effectively. This broader vision doesn’t come from nowhere—it requires a strong professional foundation and the drive to create something valuable for others. You can’t simply leap into management or business leadership without understanding the underlying value you’re contributing. Managing resources, people, and processes is important, but what truly matters is whether your management is creating new projects, generating value, and innovating. If not, you’re just maintaining the status quo rather than driving growth. The critical shift here is understanding that wealth and success are not just about money. When you focus solely on money, your perspective becomes narrow, and narrow thinking leads to mistakes. Mistakes, in turn, prevent you from reaching your financial goals. To think expansively, you need to immerse yourself in your work, explore new avenues, and learn by doing. The most successful people didn’t start by managing vast resources; they started small, built up their knowledge, and progressively expanded their vision to encompass more and more opportunities. For those who didn’t get lucky with wealthy parents, the key lies in developing systemic thinking - an ability to understand how different elements interact within complex systems. This kind of thinking is inherently interesting and allows money to follow naturally as a byproduct of your deeper understanding. Sure, there are simpler ways to make money—buy low, sell high, flip products, and so on. But those approaches lack a certain beauty. They are short-term tactics rather than sustainable, value-driven strategies. The real art lies in creating something that resonates, that builds and scales over time, ultimately leading to more significant achievements. Thoughts This perspective resonates deeply with the reality of building success from the ground up. It highlights that wealth creation is more than just financial transactions; it’s about mindset, value creation, and seeing the bigger picture. This type of thinking isn’t just for the ultra-rich; it’s a mindset that anyone can develop with the right approach and discipline. It encourages us to shift our focus from immediate gains to long-term impact, which is crucial for sustained success and personal fulfillment. The idea that financial success follows from value creation is powerful. It emphasizes the importance of understanding complex systems and making thoughtful decisions that align with larger goals. The book “Rich Dad Poor Dad” has inspired many, but its message is even more profound when we realize that wealth is not just a state of having money but a way of thinking about how to create and sustain value in the world. I also recommend you to read interesting posts about the role of money in setting up goals.
  3. Chasing Shadows: Breaking Free from the Illusion of Consumer Happiness This isn’t just about consumption or anti-consumption, and it’s not merely a question of ecology. It’s about how you make decisions in your life. Do you buy something because it promises happiness? Consumer culture constantly lures us, promising joy and fulfillment, convincing us that buying things will make us feel better, more beautiful, or more advanced. From cosmetics that promise beauty to gadgets that promise efficiency, the message is clear: buy this, and you’ll be happy. We live in a world that dissects us and urges us to keep buying, often pushing us to work not for the sake of meaningful work, but just to earn money to spend on things we might not even need—things we’ve been told are essential. Phones get replaced constantly, seemingly designed to become obsolete quickly so there’s always a reason to buy the next model. It’s a never-ending race where we chase after the promise of happiness through things, but to what end? We work more, consume more, and the economy grows. But where are we running? What are we chasing, and is it even our own desire? Or are we just going along with what’s expected because it’s trendy, stylish, or because someone told us that’s what success looks like? Back in the day, people chased fashion trends, desperately trying to keep up with what was considered “in.” Today, fashion is more fluid—wear what you like and enjoy life. The real question we need to ask ourselves is: what drives us? As a psychotherapist, I’ve seen countless cases of compulsive shopping. In the past, people would roam malls, unable to stop until they spent all their money. Now, it’s all online. You open your computer, and the endless stream of discounts and deals keeps you hooked. People can spend days adding things to their carts, comparing prices, imagining how their lives will improve with that new pair of shoes or the latest gadget. But this is just a waste of life. Hours spent comparing and fantasizing do nothing but drain you. It’s not even about needing things—it’s about imagining your life with them and living that imaginary life in your head. We’ve become like Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, clutching at “my precious,” lost in our own little worlds of imagined joy. The dopamine hits from these purchases are fleeting. You get the item, the thrill wears off, and you’re left wanting more. So, you work more to buy more, chasing an endless loop of empty gratification. In the past, people were driven by different compulsions—fear of scarcity, lack of attention or love, or the need to show off their status. Today, we’ve translated these needs into a digital shopping frenzy where the gratification is instant but hollow. People are more excited by the act of shopping than by the actual use of the products they buy. Looking ahead, many believe that in the future, we’ll spend most of our money on virtual goods—outfits and accessories for our digital avatars in the metaverse. We’re already seeing this trend, with people spending real money on digital items that have no physical existence. And the companies controlling these virtual spaces will know exactly how much money you have and keep you spending until there’s nothing left. This kind of world is terrifying—a world where our lives are spent inside a screen, paying for pixels, always being watched and manipulated. The real task is to reclaim our happiness from this cycle. Find joy in living, not in things, not in status, and not in what others expect of you. True happiness comes when you’re at peace with yourself, without needing to prove your worth with external symbols. When you’re content with who you are, you don’t need to leap out of your skin to buy things to feel valuable. That’s the simplicity we should strive for—not because it’s trendy, but because it frees us. A new outfit or a new gadget won’t make us whole. We have closets full of clothes we might never wear, things we bought for a “special occasion” that never comes. But real happiness isn’t in these external things. It’s right now, in the present. When you’re browsing online stores, you’re seeking an illusion of happiness that never truly satisfies. It depletes you instead of enriching you. Instead, we should engage in activities that genuinely fulfill us—reading a challenging book, learning something new, having meaningful conversations. These things enrich us, stay with us, and allow us to grow. They give us real dopamine, the kind that doesn’t fade the moment the newness wears off. In today’s consumer-driven world, the biggest threat is the constant lure to spend our lives chasing superficial pleasure. To cultivate true fulfillment, we need to turn inward and find joy in the things that truly matter. Don't let your sense of happiness be dictated by what you can buy. Seek the deeper satisfaction that comes from personal growth, connection, and living with purpose. Thoughts: This text speaks to the heart of a major issue in modern life: the endless chase for fulfillment through material goods. It’s not just about what we buy, but why we feel compelled to buy in the first place. Consumer culture is designed to exploit our insecurities, convincing us that happiness is just one purchase away. But this pursuit is never-ending, because happiness can’t be bought. I believe it’s crucial to step back and reassess our values. Real joy comes from experiences, relationships, learning, and self-reflection—not from things. It’s about finding contentment in who we are rather than what we own. As we navigate a world that constantly pushes us to consume more, it’s important to stay grounded and focused on what truly enriches our lives. Let’s aim to live with intention, appreciating the moment and valuing our own sense of self-worth over the hollow promises of consumerism.
  4. The Technology of a Clear Mind The technology of a clear mind is all about understanding what’s stored up in our mental attic—what’s gathering dust, what’s tangled up, and what’s spinning inside our heads. You know how our thoughts start to drift when we enter that state of mental wandering? It’s because our default mode network kicks in, stirring up a mix of ideas, conversations, and unresolved issues. They float around, sometimes interacting, sometimes arguing, sometimes hiding. And when we try to catch hold of these thoughts, they slip away. Yesterday, we began working on this by pulling everything out of our mental closet—all the old toys, noise-makers, and mess—and writing it all down on paper. Of course, each of us is unique, with our own distinctive lives, but the types of thoughts we wrote down tend to be universal. They’re the things we can’t forget: commitments, conflicts, resentments, fears about the future, and unfinished business with others. These thoughts revolve around our subconscious, driving us to revisit past arguments, old obligations, or anxieties that keep us stuck in a loop. Psychologically speaking, it’s like our default system keeps running on unfinished “gestalts”—those unresolved bits that spin around in our minds. They keep our mental wheels turning in an endless state of wandering, constantly nudging us to call someone, fix something, or deal with unresolved issues. And instead of moving forward, we get caught up in this internal chatter, making it hard to focus or find peace. Practical Steps Towards Mental Clarity So, as we’ve started this detailed work with our various thought types, let’s focus on the ones related to tasks, plans, and responsibilities. This category is usually filled with to-dos, obligations, and unfinished tasks that you’ve been dragging along. Writing these down can feel liberating; it’s as if you’ve let go of a weight that’s been buzzing around in your mind. But, at the same time, looking at that long list of tasks can be overwhelming. You might find yourself thinking, “How on earth am I going to get all this done?” The sheer volume can feel catastrophic, draining your mental energy. This is why it's crucial to not only write your tasks down but also to manage them effectively. The goal isn’t just to empty your head but to prevent those tasks from turning into mental traps. You don’t want your responsibilities to become a source of dread every time you glance at your phone or calendar. The key lies in time management—allocating time to your tasks so they don’t pile up and force you into avoidance. Time management often gets a bad rap as a boring concept, but it’s not about controlling time—it’s about planning your tasks. It’s about fitting what needs to be done into your schedule, prioritizing what’s urgent, and breaking down bigger tasks into smaller, manageable parts. I always encourage people to schedule everything—even the stuff that makes you groan. It’s common for our schedules to be filled with things we don’t look forward to, like work meetings or unpleasant tasks. But remember, your schedule is also a blank canvas. Use it to plan enjoyable activities, too, to avoid a work-work-work-death pattern. Crafting a Balanced Schedule Your brain feels a lot more at ease when it sees that everything has its time and place. When you schedule things properly, there’s a time to do everything, and you can relax knowing you won’t forget anything. This lets you experience a sense of freedom; your mind is no longer overwhelmed by everything it’s holding onto. You’ve put some order in that mental attic, and although it’s still full of stuff, it’s no longer chaotic. When you compartmentalize your tasks into specific time slots, your brain stops feeling the pressure of “everything, everywhere, all at once.” Instead, it trusts the system you’ve created. And when you decide to rest, you can actually rest, knowing that you’ve set aside time for every commitment and worry. As Scarlett O’Hara famously said, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” With proper scheduling, you can let go of your mental clutter today, knowing you’ll handle it when the time comes. Practical Exercise and Participant Feedback After identifying and sorting our thoughts, the next step involves categorizing them: which are unfinished tasks, which are ongoing commitments, and which are things you’ve been procrastinating on. Many of you have found that once you assign these to specific calendar slots, there’s a noticeable sense of control. For some, it’s about putting tasks into a digital calendar, creating a habit of regularly checking it, and relying on reminders instead of constantly keeping things in your head. Participants have shared that this method instantly freed up mental space. One person noted that after jotting everything down in Google Calendar, there was an immediate feeling of lightness. Tasks that used to feel like endless, vague obligations now had a defined time and place. This strategy is especially valuable for those non-routine tasks—the ones you can’t easily fit into your daily grind. Even if some tasks were assigned a date far in the future, it helped to know that there was a plan. The psychological benefit of this method is not just about planning but about feeling in control of your time. Your mind isn’t endlessly holding onto all your obligations; instead, it’s freed up to focus on what’s currently important. Thoughts This approach to mental clarity and organization is powerful because it addresses the root of much of our stress and anxiety: the endless spinning of unresolved thoughts and uncompleted tasks. By externalizing these mental burdens—writing them down and scheduling them—we take control and reduce mental clutter. It’s not just about being organized; it’s about reclaiming your cognitive space and peace of mind. This technique helps you shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling empowered, turning a chaotic to-do list into a manageable plan. There’s a profound mental relief that comes with knowing that you don’t have to remember everything—your systems and schedules will do that for you. And in a world that constantly pulls us in multiple directions, having this sense of control can be game-changing. My advice? Keep refining your scheduling habits, balance your obligations with enjoyable activities, and remember that not every task needs to be dealt with right now. With time, this practice will become second nature, allowing you to think clearer, focus better, and live more fully.
  5. Evolving Together in Relationships and Partnerships When we come together with another person—whether it's in a relationship, partnership, or any collaborative effort—we initially connect based on specific circumstances. At the start, you trust each other, agree to share responsibilities, and decide to walk a certain path together. This is true in romantic relationships, friendships, business partnerships, and any other form of collaboration. However, it's important to understand that this initial agreement is just the beginning. Life moves forward, and with it, people change. You will change, and so will the other person. You may find yourself observing the other person evolving in unexpected ways, and this can raise questions like, "Should I be changing too?" or "Why is this person changing so much?" These thoughts are natural and are a crucial part of understanding how relationships work over time. The problem often arises when we assume that after we make a commitment—whether it’s signing a contract, getting married, or forming a business partnership—everything will stay the same. But that’s not how life works. Change is inevitable. What truly matters is how these changes are managed and whether both parties can adapt to them in complementary ways. Successful relationships require ongoing communication and mutual attention. It’s not just about the grand promises made at the beginning but the continuous, subtle shifts that occur every day. For instance, today your partner might have one set of ideas, tomorrow those ideas might change, and by the day after, they could be entirely different again. If you’re not paying attention, you may one day find that your partner has gone through multiple phases of personal evolution, only to turn to you and ask, “Are you still with me?” You might respond, “Of course, we made a commitment,” but they may feel differently and decide to walk away because the mutual connection was lost somewhere along the way. This scenario can play out not just in personal relationships but also in professional ones. If partners are not in sync, if they’re not supporting each other’s growth, then the partnership can fail despite the best intentions at the start. Thoughts on This The heart of any relationship—whether personal or professional—lies in the ongoing commitment to grow together. Change isn’t just inevitable; it’s necessary. But for relationships to thrive amid these changes, both parties need to actively participate in each other’s growth. This means listening, adapting, and sometimes even redefining the terms of your connection as you both evolve. Communication is the bridge that keeps this process healthy. Without it, assumptions take over, and people grow apart without even realizing it. It’s crucial to continuously engage with your partner’s evolving needs, dreams, and challenges. If you can do that, not only will you keep the relationship alive, but you’ll also find that the changes you both experience will strengthen the bond rather than weaken it. The beauty of evolving together lies in supporting each other’s growth, understanding that the journey is not about remaining the same but about embracing change as a shared experience.
  6. Why Do We Communicate? Why do we communicate at all? What is the real purpose behind our interactions? The answer is not as straightforward as it seems. We communicate because, as social beings, we need to feel that we are not alone. Interaction reminds us of our connectedness to others. You might feel drained from constantly interacting with people, even virtually, like during remote work - sending messages, making decisions, solving problems, and so on. Yet, despite this, you’re not truly engaging in meaningful communication. Real communication is when you feel part of a community. We are naturally designed to be part of something bigger than ourselves - a tribe, a group, or a shared purpose. Engaging in genuine social interaction boosts our serotonin levels and, depending on the nature of the interaction, releases other neurotransmitters like endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine. These chemicals play vital roles in enhancing our mood and overall well-being. Nothing uplifts our spirits like a person who shows interest in us, says kind words, smiles, supports us, and resonates with our vibe. Communication serves a simple biological function: it creates a positive emotional atmosphere that fosters optimism and joy. However, not all communication achieves this. Many interactions are transactional or routine, such as resolving tasks or discussing problems, which often lead to conflicts rather than uplifting emotions. When communication lacks a sense of genuine connection, we can feel lost, confused, or isolated, and others around us feel the same. In these moments, when everyone is upset, there’s little desire to interact. It’s like being wounded—when everything hurts, people are more likely to lash out at each other. This mirrors the classic anecdote where someone says, "Doctor, I hurt all over—here, here, and here." The Social Connection as a Resource Social connection is a crucial resource for feeling the joy of life. Different personality types experience this differently. For example, analytical thinkers, or "Constructors," thrive when they can engage in complex discussions, analyzing connections and logical structures. Reflective personalities, or "Reflectors," seek admiration, wanting to captivate and inspire their audience, drawing them in with enthusiasm. "Centrists" need to feel understood, valued, and supported, sharing common ground and similar views on life. We often, like in the fable of the crane and the fox, offer others what we find valuable ourselves, not necessarily what they need. The key to fulfilling interactions is first offering what matters to the other person, making them feel seen and appreciated before introducing your own ideas or suggestions. Understanding Different Types of Communication People naturally gravitate toward those who share their communication styles—Centrists with Centrists, Constructors with Constructors, and Reflectors, who are generally versatile, adapting to various types of people as long as they receive admiration and respect. The challenge lies in recognizing the differences in communication preferences and adjusting accordingly. Understanding the unique traits of those you interact with can turn a distant, unemotional exchange into a warm, engaging connection. If you’re talking to a Reflector, offering reassurance and praise helps them feel secure. If they’ve made an error, addressing it with kindness and highlighting their strengths can motivate them to improve without feeling discouraged. Constructors, on the other hand, value logic and order. They may not ask about your well-being, not out of disrespect, but because their focus lies elsewhere. If you understand this, you can navigate these differences without taking things personally. The Art of Human Connection The ultimate goal is to embrace the human side of communication—to accept others as they are and genuinely offer support. However, this is impossible if you project your way of thinking onto others, assuming they process the world as you do. Recognizing cognitive biases, like thinking everyone must be like you, is the first step towards better understanding and connection. Everyone thinks differently, and no one is perfect in our eyes. If you find someone who thinks exactly like you, it might get boring. If you connect with someone entirely different, it might be exhilarating but also challenging. The key is to understand, accept, and find value in these differences. This creates a space where human relationships become more important than just transactional exchanges of ideas and emotions. Final Thoughts I believe that understanding others, knowing their unique psychological types, and engaging with them accordingly are vital skills in today’s interconnected but often disconnected world. Social intelligence is not just about recognizing these differences; it’s about using this knowledge to build genuine relationships that enhance the quality of life for everyone involved. By learning to interact in ways that resonate with others, we not only improve our personal and professional relationships but also contribute to a world where empathy and understanding are prioritized. In an era dominated by technology and virtual realities, it’s essential that we preserve our humanity by nurturing the art of communication and deep connection. Understanding personality types is one of the most powerful tools we have to make this possible, and it can be the key to unlocking happier, more fulfilling interactions with those around us.
  7. Don't chase after pleasures; instead, discover them right where you are. For example, feel the warmth of the water when you wash your hands—it’s a simple, comforting pleasure. Notice the sky when you step outside. Even if it's grey and stormy, there's still a unique beauty in it; the play of colors, the depth of the clouds. And remember, behind those clouds, the sun is always there. Think about that—the sun is always shining, even if you can't see it directly. This way of thinking helps you to gradually increase the small joys in your life. This is what Epicurus taught us: find pleasure in the little things. Recall something good that has happened to you, even if it was small or long ago. That memory can bring a sense of warmth and satisfaction right now. Instead of chasing grand moments of happiness, we can find joy in the everyday, in moments that we often overlook. Maybe it's the smell of coffee in the morning, the sound of leaves rustling in the wind, or the way sunlight filters through your window. These moments are fleeting, but they are always around us, ready to be noticed and appreciated. More Thoughts: I love the simplicity and depth of this message. We often get caught up in chasing big, elusive forms of happiness—thinking that joy is always just around the corner, just out of reach. But true contentment often lies in the smallest of experiences, the ones that are already happening all around us. By paying attention to these simple pleasures, like the warmth of water or the beauty of a cloudy sky, we can find that life is richer than we realize. This approach doesn’t just make life more enjoyable; it also teaches us mindfulness, gratitude, and resilience. It’s a reminder that life doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful, and that happiness is more about perspective than circumstances. If we train our minds to appreciate what’s here and now, we unlock a steady source of joy that’s less dependent on external factors. It’s a philosophy worth embracing—slow down, pay attention to the small things.
  8. Take control of your life by planning intentionally. Prioritize yourself, make time for what you love, and enjoy a life that feels balanced and fulfilling. Your time is precious—make it count by dedicating it to what truly matters to you. You’ve taken the time to plan and organize your life, and because of that, you’re genuinely enjoying it. You’re in control—you’re the one steering the ship, not life running you ragged. It’s not chaos dictating your days; it’s you. You’ve set your priorities straight. When you plan, you decide what’s important and what isn’t, what deserves your attention and what can wait. A key part of your planning should always include time for yourself—not time spent working for others, doing errands, or fulfilling obligations, but time purely for you. This is your personal time, carved out of your schedule, to enjoy what truly matters to you. This could be anything: a hobby, relaxation, learning something new, or simply doing nothing if that’s what you need. It’s crucial because this is the time when you feel fulfilled, energized, and happy—when your life feels like it’s genuinely yours. Life’s too short to be constantly on someone else’s clock. Your schedule should reflect your priorities, and one of those priorities must be you. By intentionally setting aside time for yourself, you create a balance that not only helps you manage stress but also enhances your overall well-being. This is when you feel most alive because you’re dedicating your life’s most precious resource—time—to things that bring you joy and fulfillment. Thoughts: This approach is spot on. It’s all about shifting from living reactively to living intentionally. So often, we get caught up in our responsibilities to others—work, family, and social obligations—that we forget to prioritize ourselves. Planning your time isn’t just about productivity; it’s about valuing your life enough to make sure that every day has moments that are just for you. This strategy isn’t about being selfish; it’s about self-preservation. It’s about ensuring that your life is not just a series of tasks but a series of meaningful moments. Make time for yourself a non-negotiable part of your schedule, and you’ll notice not only increased happiness but also a sense of calm and control. Life is yours to direct—so why not make it something you love?
  9. Don’t Be Afraid to Say No Are you afraid to say no? Does it make you feel awkward or uncomfortable? Maybe you worry about what the other person will think of you. You know, we often get caught up in these thoughts: "What will they think if I say no?" But here's the thing: your "no" is often a natural and necessary response, rooted in your own life circumstances. Let’s imagine your “no” is perfectly reasonable given your situation, but the other person still insists on their request, not caring about your reasons. Even if you try to explain, they might say, "I don't care that it's not convenient for you, I still want you to do it." In such cases, not saying no is almost a betrayal of yourself. It’s a crime against your own needs and boundaries. Of course, we all care about what others think of us; that's natural. But this concern should be reserved for people who have earned your respect—people who understand you and value your perspective. If someone doesn’t understand you, and they keep pushing their agenda, then what they think of you doesn’t really matter. They don’t see you for who you truly are anyway, so why should their opinion dictate your actions? People who don’t take the time to understand you, or who dismiss your boundaries, will always have a skewed view of you. And honestly, if they’re going to think badly of you for standing up for yourself, let them. What’s important is that you’re being true to yourself, not betraying your own needs to please others. Final Thoughts: Learning to say no is a critical skill that helps you set boundaries and maintain your mental and emotional health. It’s not about being rude or selfish; it’s about prioritizing your own well-being and respecting your time and energy. People who genuinely respect you will understand and accept your boundaries. Remember, saying no doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you someone who values themselves. Boundaries are not just lines you draw—they are the foundation of healthy relationships and self-respect. So next time you’re hesitant to say no, remember that your needs are valid, and standing up for them is an act of self-care.
  10. One of our deepest fears is uncertainty. We struggle to understand what’s happening around us now and what will happen next. In today's world, making sense of things is incredibly difficult. Over time, we've grown so disappointed in our attempts to grasp what’s going on that we often just give up. We might have some vague ideas or impressions, but a true, clear understanding of the present reality eludes us. This sense of disillusionment leads us to think, "What does it matter? It’s all the same, whether we try to make sense of it or not." This mindset is a powerful internal stressor. The fear of uncertainty works on us at a subconscious level, even if we consciously tell ourselves, “It’ll all work out somehow.” While we might push the fear away in our minds, deep down, our psyche struggles. Without a clear image of the future, without specific goals or tasks, our inner world becomes chaotic and restless, not knowing what to react to or prepare for. This turmoil makes us act irrationally, causing us to make mistakes that seem completely avoidable. Perhaps the biggest mistake we make in this state of mind is doing nothing at all—paralysis, the kind of inactivity that is a hallmark of stress triggered by uncertainty. On the subconscious level, this inactivity can manifest as procrastination, avoidance, or just a sense of being stuck, unable to move forward or make decisions. This isn’t just an abstract feeling; it shows up in our daily lives—missed opportunities, stagnation in our careers, strained relationships, and an overall sense of dissatisfaction. The lack of clarity can also lead to impulsive decisions, as our brain desperately seeks some form of control, often choosing poorly simply to break the stalemate of inaction. From a broader perspective, living in constant uncertainty can wear down our mental health, leading to anxiety, chronic stress, and even depression. It also affects our physical health—stress and anxiety can cause insomnia, weaken our immune system, and lead to various stress-related illnesses. Essentially, uncertainty can throw our entire mind-body system into disarray. Final Thoughts on This Living with constant uncertainty is one of the toughest challenges of modern life. It’s not just about the lack of information; it’s about the emotional and psychological toll that this ambiguity takes on us. The key to dealing with uncertainty is not necessarily to eliminate it (which is impossible) but to build resilience against it. This means developing coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness to stay present, goal-setting even if the goals are small, and learning to focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t. It’s also important to nurture a flexible mindset, where you learn to adapt and pivot rather than be paralyzed by indecision. Seeking connection with others, sharing our fears and uncertainties, and supporting one another can also provide a sense of stability. Ultimately, it’s about shifting our relationship with uncertainty—understanding that it’s a part of life and finding ways to navigate through it with as much grace and strength as possible.
  11. What Is a Goal? We often think we have many goals. If I handed you a pen and some paper right now and asked you to write down your goals, you’d probably jot down things like “lose weight,” “increase income,” or something along those lines. But these aren’t real goals; they’re just surface-level ideas. A true goal answers a much deeper question: Why? If you understand your “why,” you can handle any “how.” A goal is something you genuinely want because it meets a real need. When you ask yourself why you want something, you should have an inner answer that resonates deeply: This is something I need. It’s not just a fleeting desire or societal expectation. Let’s say you want to increase your income. You might justify it by saying, “I want to travel more.” But the critical question is, why do you want to travel? Simply earning more doesn’t automatically translate into traveling more. It requires critical thinking and a shift in perspective to truly understand your reasons. Even if you do manage to travel more, what are you hoping to gain from those trips? What experience are you seeking? Maybe it’s a sense of freedom, adventure, or the opportunity to disconnect and recharge. Knowing this helps you redefine your goal. It’s not just about more money or vacations; it’s about creating space for the things that fulfill you. For instance, if given more time, I know I’d love to spend it brainstorming, creating, and coming up with new ideas. But I often find myself caught up in explaining things rather than exploring them, which is frustrating because what drives me is the joy of creativity. I have my “why” nailed down, and it’s this inner motivation that keeps me going. Without that, you’re just moving through life without a clear sense of direction, constantly chasing tasks that don’t bring real satisfaction. Knowing your “why” grounds you, helps you prioritize what truly matters, and turns everyday actions into steps toward a meaningful goal.
  12. How to Embrace Uncertainty, Complexity, and Contradictions in Today’s World What keeps me going is the realization that we are always running behind. I use the word "running" deliberately because it's the feeling that pushes me forward. Fear isn't the motivator; it's the understanding that the world is speeding ahead, and I need to keep up, even if it sometimes feels overwhelming. The world of technology is dizzying—filled with endless updates, digital noise, endless chats, and systems that can feel absolutely bewildering. But instead of letting that frustration defeat me, I push myself. Every new model, every update, it all feels like an uphill battle. I don't master it all by myself—I have an assistant who helps manage it. He sets up the access, and then it's my turn to wrestle with this technology. I talk to it, test it, draw things with it, and try to understand how it solves problems, how it thinks, and where its limitations are. A prime example is the experimental process we are using to create an audiobook. Nowadays, it's difficult to even tell if it's me speaking or an AI-generated voice. There are countless settings to tweak and adjust, but soon enough, the technology will advance to a point where my 3D hologram can narrate my work as if I were truly present. It’s surreal. It even inserts my personal expressions into the text. This used to be unimaginable. Sometimes, it even makes me nervous—I’m stunned by how far we've come. It’s important to realize that we are witnessing one of the greatest spectacles in human history. This is not an exaggeration; it truly is unprecedented. You have a choice: you can be an active observer, fully conscious of what’s happening, or you can miss out on it entirely. This technological revolution is like the avant-garde art movement that once shocked the world. People were used to traditional realism, and then suddenly, they were confronted with radical new styles like Suprematism, which seemed completely insane at first. Today, we see those styles as foundational, but back then, they were viewed as utterly incomprehensible. The same is true of today’s digital landscape. What seems unfamiliar and overwhelming now will soon be an integral part of our lives. Just remember how our elders reacted to early mobile phones. They were cumbersome, unfamiliar, and often seen as unnecessary. People resisted, but look at where we are now—phones are an indispensable part of everyday life. To avoid feeling left behind, we need to embrace this new reality. Sure, it’s scary at times. A little fear can be a good thing because it forces us to engage with the unfamiliar instead of retreating from it. The real challenge is to shift from a passive stance to a proactive one, where we actively engage with the new, rather than just enduring the endless updates and changes that seem to happen at lightning speed. More Thoughts: I think this narrative brilliantly captures a common struggle we all face: the constant pace of change and the fear of being left behind. The speaker’s journey from apprehension to engagement shows that while technology can be intimidating, it’s also full of potential for those willing to take the plunge. The key takeaway here is that uncertainty isn't something to dread; it's a playground of possibilities. It’s about adopting a mindset that sees every challenge as a learning opportunity. This approach is empowering because it turns fear into a motivator and a guide. Rather than shying away from the unknown, we should view it as an adventure—an opportunity to shape our understanding of the world and perhaps even our role in it. The rapid evolution of technology is not just a spectacle to watch but an invitation to participate, adapt, and grow.
  13. The fear of making changes in our lives is one of the most irrational things right now. Life is changing faster than we can keep up with, and resisting these changes leaves us lagging behind. Our internal readiness to embrace change, welcome the new, and stay curious is more crucial than ever. Ask yourself: Where else can I express my potential? How can I expand my social circle and connect with new people? What new activities can bring me joy and fulfillment? These are the questions worth pondering, especially if you're hesitant about making changes. People often fear that altering something in their lives might lead to unexpected or negative outcomes. But the truth is, things are already shifting around us, and they won't always go as planned anyway. We’ve entered a phase where change is constant; it’s a new world, and we need to adapt to it. Adaptation isn't about stubbornly holding on to old ways, like the fairytale character who resisted being pushed into the oven by Baba Yaga, arms and legs flailing, refusing to go along. Clinging to what feels safe or familiar won’t help us preserve the life we know; things will inevitably evolve, whether we like it or not. The key is to accept that everything is changing and to make those changes from a place of intention rather than resistance. Instead of becoming a passive victim of circumstances, take an active role in guiding your transformation. It's about shifting your mindset: Instead of fearing the unknown, view it as a field of possibilities waiting to be explored. The world is full of new opportunities to grow, learn, and thrive. Additional Thoughts: 1. Change as a Skill: Think of adaptability as a skill that you can develop. Just like any other skill, it requires practice, patience, and sometimes a bit of discomfort. But the more you exercise it, the better you become at navigating life's unpredictabilities. 2. Focus on Growth, Not Perfection: Understand that perfection isn’t the goal - progress is. Each step towards embracing change, no matter how small, counts. Even setbacks can teach us valuable lessons that contribute to our growth. 3. Seek Support and Community: Surround yourself with people who are also committed to growth and change. Engaging with supportive communities can ease the fear of the unknown and provide inspiration and encouragement. 4. Create a Vision for Your Future: Visualize the life you want, not just the one you fear losing. This mindset shift from scarcity to abundance can help you find motivation to move forward, even when it feels uncomfortable. 5. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate every little step you take towards change. Recognizing your progress, no matter how minor, builds confidence and reinforces a positive outlook. Final Thoughts: The fear of change is a natural human reaction, but in our rapidly evolving world, it's more dangerous to remain stagnant. We often fear the unfamiliar because our brains are wired to seek safety in what’s known. However, the real risk lies in resisting change when the world around us is in constant flux. Change isn’t the enemy; our resistance to it is. The more we embrace new experiences, ideas, and challenges, the more resilient and fulfilled we become. Remember, you don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward. Just take the next step, and the path will reveal itself as you go.
  14. Many people take a systematic approach to weight loss. They dive deep into learning everything about food: where calories come from, how many calories are in different foods, and so on. However, the problem isn’t really about the calories. The real issue lies in understanding whether you genuinely feel the need to eat or not. It’s about being aware of your internal signals—recognizing when your body truly needs nourishment versus when it doesn't. When you can tune into this, you start to question your habits. You might think, “Do I really need this? I’m not even hungry.” Or maybe you realize that extra snack or meal is unnecessary, adding to those stubborn extra pounds. It’s like having a stash of unwanted weight that you can feel hanging around. Understanding this inner dialogue and being honest with yourself about your real needs is much more powerful than just knowing the numbers or the science behind food. My goal is to teach you how to connect with what’s truly happening within you. The key is to recognize how much you genuinely need to eat. This awareness is the gateway to overcoming food dependencies, cravings, and any eating habits that might not serve you well. More Thoughts: This approach emphasizes mindful eating, which is a powerful and often overlooked aspect of weight management. It’s not just about what you eat but why you eat. Many times, people consume food out of habit, boredom, or emotional need rather than physical hunger. Learning to distinguish between these can be a game-changer in achieving sustainable weight loss. The idea of listening to your body is not just about eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re full; it’s about understanding the emotional and psychological triggers that drive your eating habits. This is crucial because without this awareness, no amount of dieting or calorie counting can lead to lasting change. By focusing on internal cues rather than external rules, you can build a healthier relationship with food that supports not just weight loss but overall well-being.
  15. Every time you hear the words "food," "fat," "extra weight," "diet," or "restrictions," there’s a part of you—a rebel like Spartacus—ready to rise up against the Rome of your own mind. This internal warrior is furious, ready to break free from anything that feels oppressive or controlling, especially when it comes to your habits and body image. But listen, with this kind of mindset, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. We’ve missed the mark if we approach change with nothing but frustration and rebellion. Our main task is to start changing ourselves in a way that feels comfortable, not forced or stressful. Positive habits can only truly form when you’re in a good state of mind. You can’t build healthy routines when you’re overwhelmed, stressed, or in a state of panic. Sure, you can force yourself to learn something under pressure—like a teacher standing over you with a stick, ready to strike—but real learning and genuine change only happen when you actually enjoy the process, when it feels natural and engaging, rather than a battle against your own will. The key isn’t about strict rules, endless restrictions, or stressful routines. It’s about finding ways to incorporate change that align with your interests and desires. When it feels good, it sticks. When it feels forced, it fizzles out. This approach lets you form habits that not only last but also become something you look forward to, rather than something you dread. More Thoughts on This This text brilliantly captures the inner conflict many people experience when trying to change their habits, especially around food and dieting. It highlights the importance of mindset and how we often set ourselves up for failure by associating change with restriction and discomfort. It’s a reminder that lasting change doesn’t come from self-punishment but from self-compassion and finding joy in the process. Adding to this, I think it’s crucial to recognize that our relationship with food and our bodies is deeply psychological. Instead of just focusing on what we eat, it’s important to address why we eat, how we feel about eating, and what emotional needs might be driving our habits. Building a positive mindset around food means not just managing what’s on your plate but also understanding and caring for what’s happening in your mind and heart.
  16. I’m feeling lost because I don’t have clear desires inside me. There’s no point in chasing abstract desires, so what should I do in this situation? This is precisely the kind of thing I’ve been talking about - the way we’ve lost the environment that used to shape the old version of us. In the past, people worked because of social pressure; there were expectations and goals set by society. You were pushed to get married, have kids, and find a job immediately after school. These external pressures created a structure in which we hardly even noticed our own desires; we were simply following the flow. Take education and career paths, for example. Many of us didn’t really choose them - we just went where we were told. I never consciously dreamed of joining the army or being confined to a barracks. But these were the steps laid out for us, shaped by societal expectations. Our desires weren’t internal; they were crafted by external circumstances and social pressure. Now, that pressure has dissipated, and that’s a significant problem. Today, we are tasked with creating our own sense of purpose and meaning, which isn’t easy. This loss of clear external motivators leaves us struggling to find internal drive. People often think that others have a natural sense of motivation, but that’s largely a myth. Our previous society had a conveyor belt of expectations that kept us moving forward, but now those demands have disappeared, even for adults. Most of us aren’t starving, and even when things get tough, we manage to get by. Yet, we still wait around for motivation, a motivation that was oversold to us, as if it’s something that just appears. Everyone is chasing motivation, asking how they can find it or boost it. But what is motivation, really? It’s just desire. If I were to turn on the air conditioning and drop the temperature to -10 degrees, suddenly everyone would be motivated—to find warmth. Motivation often arises from a sense of discomfort or deficiency. Without external pressures like needing a job to survive or social expectations, we lack the deprivations that used to generate our desires. Today, there are technologies being developed to manipulate desires or behaviors, particularly in extreme contexts like criminal rehabilitation. In Scandinavia, for instance, there’s a startup exploring ways to alter criminals' brains in such a way that they might no longer need to be imprisoned. They call it the creation of “new memories,” but it’s essentially a form of brain intervention—blocking certain behaviors by altering neurological functions. Imagine a device that dampens aggression by acting on the brain's amygdala, keeping violent impulses in check. Yet, outside of these experimental extremes, we have no such methods for the average person’s lack of motivation. Desire is born from scarcity, and without that scarcity, it’s hard to feel driven. We’re moving toward a future where work might not be a necessity, social pressure may vanish, and we won’t even have the urgency of survival pushing us forward. What happens when our basic needs are so easily met? We face a deep existential challenge: what will drive us when we don’t have to do anything? We’re already seeing the fallout from this shift. There was a whole generation that emerged during times of rapid information overload and mind-numbing entertainment, and now many of them struggle with low motivation, an inability to focus, and a sense of aimlessness. This “informational degeneration” has created tangible problems in society, and these issues will only worsen unless addressed. In the U.S., for instance, there’s data suggesting cognitive decline in younger generations, fueled by the endless consumption of shallow content. People are losing the ability to engage deeply or think critically. And if we don’t find ways to correct this, the impact on future generations will be severe. Imagine a world where people live longer, but fewer choose to have children, and those who do face the challenge of raising them at much older ages, lacking the energy or will to guide them effectively. Society will need to find a way to inspire action and desire among its people, or risk a future filled with individuals devoid of direction and purpose. Final Thoughts: We see a significant shift in how we understand motivation, desire, and societal structure. The old social contract, where external pressures guided our life paths, is crumbling, leaving us to navigate a complex world without a clear map. As technology advances and the pressures of survival lessen, the existential crisis grows: what motivates us when we don’t have to do anything? The future might indeed be filled with unprecedented freedom, but this freedom can be paralyzing without a sense of purpose. We need to cultivate new forms of internal motivation, focusing on personal growth, community, creativity, and meaningful challenges. Encouraging self-reflection, setting personal goals, and reconnecting with deeper values are crucial steps. Society may also need to redefine success and worth beyond traditional metrics, embracing the idea that fulfillment comes not just from external achievements but from understanding and pursuing our authentic desires. Ultimately, it’s about reclaiming our sense of agency in a world that offers both overwhelming choices and a troubling lack of direction. This is both the challenge and the opportunity of our time.
  17. Ever felt like your brain just needed a little “boost” of creativity? Perhaps I offer unexpected idea...What if I told you that what you eat could actually play a role in how creative and curious you feel? When I started including more plant-based foods—think colorful salads, vibrant fruits, and wholesome grains—I noticed a change not just in my mood but in how I approached challenges. I was more open to new ideas, and my problem-solving felt sharper. It’s as if the fresh, nutrient-packed foods were feeding my mind, sparking new connections I hadn’t noticed before. 👉 Pro Tip: Next time you’re feeling stuck or uninspired, take a look at your plate. A quick, nutrient-rich meal could be just the fuel your creativity needs!
  18. Let’s be real - none of us are perfect when it comes to eating. I’ve had my share of guilt-ridden moments over indulging in comfort foods, like that late-night pizza after a long day. But here’s what I’ve learned: balance and self-compassion are key. The text reminded me that it’s okay to enjoy your favourite treats occasionally, as long as it’s done mindfully. Rather than beating yourself up, think of it as a conscious choice - an indulgence you’re fully aware of and can move past without guilt. It’s all about what you do most of the time, not every single moment. 👉 Remember: Eating well is about making the best choices for your mood and health without the pressure of being perfect. Enjoy that burger if you want, and then go back to your usual healthy routine without a second thought.
  19. In the second half of the 20th century, cognitive psychology began to develop actively. Before that, psychology was dominated by other approaches like psychoanalysis, which focused on sexuality and unconscious drives, or behaviorism, which concentrated on observable behaviors and reflexes. However, cognitive psychology emerged relatively recently, quickly gaining traction across various fields, including economics. Traditionally, it was believed that humans are the pinnacle of creation, epitomes of rationality and common sense. But as cognitive psychology started intersecting with economics, it revealed that rationality in decision-making is far less common than previously assumed. This irrationality isn't limited to corporate giants or financial markets; it extends to every one of us in our daily decisions. In recognition of this, psychologists began receiving prestigious awards in economics. Daniel Kahneman, one of the most well-known figures in this field (I recommend you to read The Human Error Machine | Breaking the Illusion of Rationality, along with others like Richard Thaler, demonstrated that our decisions are often driven not by logical calculations but by cognitive biases and automatic, irrational responses. These irrational behaviors can be traced back to a mix of cultural habits and deeper, evolutionary influences. For instance, we are often quick to judge others who act differently, despite there being no real harm in their actions—this stems from ingrained cultural biases. At a more fundamental level, our brains are wired with biological automatism, shaped by evolution not to make us perfectly rational beings, but to enhance survival. Our brains evolved to help us maximize rewards and minimize losses, not necessarily to make the most logical or fair decisions. One of the most striking examples of cognitive biases is the "Endowment Effect," ("Ownership Effect") discovered through experiments by Kahneman and Thaler. In a classic study, students were divided into two groups. The first group received a free mug with the university logo, which delighted them. The second group was simply offered the chance to buy the same mug. Predictably, those who got the mug for free were much happier than those who were asked to pay for it. But the real twist came when those who had received the mug were later asked if they would sell it back. The prices they demanded were significantly higher than what the buyers were willing to pay. The mug’s perceived value skyrocketed simply because they owned it, illustrating how ownership can inflate the value of objects, even when no effort was made to acquire them. This phenomenon is not just limited to objects but extends to our actions and feelings. In another experiment, children were asked to kick each other under a table with equal force. Despite the instruction to maintain an equal level of force, the children inevitably escalated their kicks. Each child perceived their pain as greater and thus retaliated harder, leading to an ever-increasing cycle of aggression. This illustrates how personal suffering feels more significant than someone else’s, even when the objective impact is identical. The endowment effect shows that anything we possess automatically gains more value because it’s “ours.” Biologically, this makes sense: acquiring something often requires effort, risk, and energy expenditure, making it seem more valuable once it’s in our hands. The familiar proverb “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” captures this sentiment perfectly. In modern terms, spending your own money feels more painful than spending borrowed money because you are directly parting with something that is “yours.” This effect becomes problematic when combined with rising levels of individualism and entitlement in modern society. In the past, resources were scarce, and societal norms and pressures guided people’s behavior. But today, with a significant rise in wealth and accessibility, especially for younger generations, we are seeing an increase in egocentric behavior. Children grow up with easy access to material goods and entertainment, often without the same sense of having to earn what they receive. Parenting styles have shifted from strict, authority-driven approaches to more permissive, child-centered ones, where the desires of the child often come first. The result is a growing sense of entitlement and a lack of perspective on the value of shared resources. The broader societal structures that once helped curb individual excesses, like community expectations or collective experiences, are weakening. Social media amplifies these tendencies by constantly displaying the highlights of others’ lives, creating a relentless cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction. It’s no longer enough to have something; it must be as good as or better than what others have, leading to a perpetual sense of inadequacy. Cognitive biases like the endowment effect are natural but can have destructive outcomes in our hyper-individualistic culture. We often fail to see the needs and contributions of others, focusing solely on our desires and perceived shortcomings. This creates a societal fabric where cooperation and empathy are weakened, and people struggle to connect meaningfully because they are too wrapped up in their own experiences. Thoughts on this The insights from cognitive psychology are not just fascinating but crucial for understanding the world today. The endowment effect, loss aversion, and other biases show that our decision-making is deeply flawed in ways that impact everything from personal finance to global economic policy. These biases can exacerbate selfish behavior, making it harder for individuals to act cooperatively or with empathy. In an age where connectivity and shared resources are more critical than ever, understanding and mitigating these biases could help us build a more compassionate society. Cognitive psychology reminds us that our brains are wired for survival, not necessarily fairness or logic, and this has profound implications for how we interact with the world. It’s a call to be more aware of our mental shortcuts and strive for decisions that are not just advantageous to ourselves but also fair and considerate of others. If we can learn to manage our biases, there’s hope that we can foster a more empathetic and less ego-driven society.
  20. Today, I’d like to play a word game with you, Wittgenstein-style. Our lecture topic is “Practical Psychology and Thinking.” People kept asking me, “What’s your lecture topic?” I would say, “I’m just going to talk to people.” But they still wanted a title, so we settled on “Practical Psychology and Thinking.” I frequently use these terms, and you likely know them too. But honestly, what do they truly mean? It’s a real mystery. Ask anyone, and you’ll get entirely different answers. When we start studying something like the "red pill" concept, we start talking about psychology. What is psychology? What kind of operation is this? I’ll even write the word for you - psychology. But what are we really talking about here? It's like stretching an owl - our personal experience - over someone else’s globe. We constantly do this in psychology. We take our own perceptions of the world, ourselves, our feelings, motivations, and so on, and we try to apply them to every situation. But this is a provocation: we have to understand that moving from psychologizing to actual thinking is crucial. Imagine artificial intelligence - you use it all the time. You interact with chatbots, like ChatGPT, and you think, “I’m talking to something intelligent.” But what do you really know about it? Most people imagine that soon, we will all have personal AI assistants, and we’ll engage with them as if they were genuine companions. We assume we know who we are talking to. But if it responds in an unexpected way, we quickly dismiss it as dumb. This response reflects our projection of personal views onto AI. The design goal is to make AI as empathetic as possible, so it feels like you’re speaking with a real person who can share your burdens, concerns, and help set your tasks. This is all psychology but has no real relation to actual thinking. When people ask about the term ‘psychology,’ they often confuse it with something like science. We think it involves a systematic, empirical approach, like other sciences, but it’s more about personal projection. Psychologizing means projecting your personal experience onto another person's reality, stretching it like an owl over a globe. That’s not scientific. There’s this common misconception: people hear "psychology" and think of "science" as the root, implying some kind of rigorous study. But let’s break that down. Think of personality theories: Freud’s ideas about the id, ego, and superego battling it out, or Jung’s notions of the collective unconscious. Adler focuses on social feelings and inferiority complexes. There are thousands of theories out there. Freud would dismiss many of these ideas as nonsense, driven by primal urges repressed by societal norms. It’s a mess of conflicting models. When we talk about intelligence, we’re dealing with different theories again. Gardner’s multiple intelligences, IQ tests, and various other constructs measure intelligence differently, each shaping our understanding. This is not a unified science but a chaotic mix of ideas and interpretations. Then there’s practical psychology, like social engineering where someone calls and manipulates you by pretending to help, when they’re actually scamming you. High-level manipulation - psychology at its peak, but not in a good way. Likewise, practical interventions for panic attacks, anxiety, or stress involve exercises and methods that are labeled as psychology. Still, it’s not the rigorous, scientific kind of psychology we often imagine. Psychiatry deals with severe mental health issues—hallucinations, delusions, and other extreme states. Someone might have visions and believe that people are watching them, and we try to understand this within the scope of psychology. But even here, we’re dealing with a form of psychology that’s about dysfunction, not a unified science. The complexity deepens when we consider fields like cognitive psychology, which labels earlier, less structured psychology as ‘dumb’ or ‘uncognitive.’ This cognitive wave tries to bring some order, claiming to study mental processes scientifically. Yet, despite these efforts, the field remains splintered, with countless approaches and conflicting schools of thought. Now, let’s touch on thinking. Thinking isn’t just about intelligence or consciousness. It’s about modeling reality in a way that helps us adapt. It’s not merely about intelligence tests or self-awareness; it’s about using these faculties together to navigate the world. Wittgenstein’s idea of language games captures this well: we get caught up in our language, mistaking words for clear understanding when they often just reflect our subjective interpretations. If we really think about it, we’re playing endless language games with terms like psychology and thinking, and these games prevent us from truly understanding each other. Wittgenstein pointed out that most philosophical problems arise from these games, and if we could clarify what we mean, many of these issues would disappear. Thoughts on This: The discussion brilliantly highlights how psychology and thinking often get entangled in confusing language games. The analogy of stretching our personal experiences like an owl over someone else’s globe is striking; it shows how subjective psychology can be. This isn’t just about understanding others; it’s about recognizing the limits of our own perspectives. The reflection on AI as a mirror of our expectations—where we project empathy and intelligence onto algorithms—is timely. It underscores the need to differentiate between genuine human connection and simulated responses. As we interact more with AI, distinguishing between programmed empathy and real understanding becomes crucial. Ultimately, this script underscores the need for clarity in how we talk about psychology and thinking. It calls for moving beyond superficial interpretations and really grasping the nuances of the human mind, recognizing that much of what we assume is ‘scientific’ is actually deeply subjective. The challenge lies not just in studying psychology but in thinking critically about what it truly represents.
  21. Value of Impostor Syndrome in Professional Growth | Why Knowing More Makes Us Doubt Ourselves Impostor syndrome is often talked about, but few truly understand its nature. The syndrome typically affects those who have achieved notable recognition in their fields, but still feel unworthy of their success. To genuinely experience impostor syndrome, one must be perceived as an expert or authority in their professional domain - a rare occurrence in today's world where true veneration of professionals is uncommon. So, why does someone who has earned respect from colleagues, clients, and audiences still suffer from impostor syndrome? As one delves deeper into any field, they realize the vastness and complexity of their discipline, far beyond initial appearances. This realization ties into the well-known cognitive bias known as the Dunning-Kruger effect. Those with minimal knowledge often lack the self-awareness to recognize their errors, leading them to overestimate their expertise. A famous example of this cognitive bias is a man who robbed a bank, confidently looking into surveillance cameras, convinced he was invisible because he had smeared his face with lemon juice, believing it would make him undetectable. His misguided confidence shocked the police, leading Professor David Dunning and his assistant to study how people with limited knowledge fail to recognize their shortcomings. Conversely, those who truly excel in their fields often experience a reverse Dunning-Kruger effect. As experts, they become acutely aware of how much there is still to learn, and how much remains unknown. The sheer volume of research, studies, and evolving practices makes it nearly impossible for anyone to stay fully updated in their field. Take the example of the excitement around Elon Musk’s ventures into neural prosthetics for the blind. While Musk's Neuralink garners attention, similar technologies have been explored for decades, and numerous startups already have functional implants integrated with AI. As of now, around 500 people worldwide live as cyborgs with brain implants that allow them to control devices or identify visual input through artificial intelligence. Musk’s work is just a highly publicized step in a long journey of neurological exploration. Experts in any field understand that breakthroughs are often a culmination of extensive research and incremental progress, rather than the work of a single visionary. This insight underscores the limitations of any single person’s knowledge, fueling a sense of inadequacy and contributing to impostor syndrome. It's not about lacking knowledge but realizing the boundaries of what’s currently achievable. In creative professions, impostor syndrome can stem from the unpredictability of the creative process. For artists, writers, filmmakers, and others, inspiration doesn’t follow a formula - it’s often a mix of internal experiences and external influences. Even when a project comes together successfully, it can feel like a fluke, and the fear that the next effort won't measure up looms large. The creative journey is often fraught with uncertainty, right up to the point where a project either takes off or falls flat. Whether it's a theatrical production nervously anticipating audience reception or a director unsure if the final edit will resonate, this anxiety fuels a sense of imposture, no matter how experienced the creator may be. Impostor syndrome isn’t limited to seasoned professionals; it's also prevalent among newcomers. However, early-career individuals often misidentify their natural learning curve as impostor syndrome, when in fact, they are simply grappling with the steep climb from novice to competent practitioner. It’s normal to feel out of depth at this stage, but it doesn’t necessarily equate to being an impostor. As we move into an era where lifelong learning becomes essential and career shifts are frequent, feeling like a beginner is something we must all grow accustomed to. Professions evolve, technologies advance, and the skills that were once valuable may become obsolete. The need to continuously adapt can heighten feelings of uncertainty and self-doubt, but this is part of the process of professional evolution. Final Thoughts: Impostor syndrome is a reflection of a healthy acknowledgment of one's limitations. It serves as a reminder that no matter how much we know, there is always more to learn. This mindset is essential for personal growth and innovation. True mastery involves recognizing the boundaries of current knowledge and being open to new discoveries. Overconfidence can lead to stagnation, while a touch of self-doubt keeps us striving to improve. It’s the fear of the unknown that drives us to explore, learn, and ultimately contribute meaningfully to our fields. Embracing this mindset allows us to remain dynamic, curious, and resilient in the face of ever-evolving challenges. So, rather than seeing impostor syndrome as a flaw, we can reframe it as a sign of progress—a reflection of how much we've already accomplished and an invitation to keep pushing forward.
  22. As I continued to explore, I realized that these expert-endorsed rules were just the beginning. The beauty of these principles lies in their adaptability, allowing me to create a personalized system that fits my workflow. Over time, I discovered additional techniques that added layers of efficiency to my routine. One such discovery was Parkinson’s Law, which states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. This insight was a revelation. By consciously setting tighter deadlines, I found that I could complete tasks faster and with greater focus. For example, if I set aside an hour for a task I used to spend all afternoon on, I was amazed at how much more efficient I became. Parkinson’s Law taught me the value of creating urgency, even when the deadline was self-imposed. Next, I integrated the 1-3-5 Rule into my daily planning. This simple yet effective strategy involves organizing your day around one big task, three medium tasks, and five small tasks. The 1-3-5 Rule helped me strike a balance between tackling major projects and taking care of smaller, but still important, tasks. It also prevented overwhelm by giving me a clear roadmap for the day, allowing me to focus on what truly matters. Another method that became indispensable to my routine is the Rule of Three. Every morning, I select three key tasks that I must accomplish by the end of the day. This technique helped me prioritize effectively and ensure that I was always making progress on my most important goals. By focusing on just three tasks, I found that I could maintain momentum without feeling scattered. To further refine my time management, I embraced the Time Blocking Method. Instead of relying solely on a to-do list, I began scheduling specific blocks of time for each task on my calendar. This approach was transformative—by allocating time slots for each activity, I ensured that every important task received the attention it deserved. Time blocking also helped me protect my schedule from being consumed by less important activities, significantly reducing procrastination. The Pomodoro Technique also played a crucial role in my productivity journey. By breaking my work into 25-minute focused intervals, followed by 5-minute breaks, I was able to maintain high levels of concentration without burnout. This method kept my energy levels stable and made longer tasks feel more manageable. Lastly, I adopted the Ivy Lee Method to streamline my daily workflow. At the end of each day, I write down the six most important tasks for the next day, prioritizing them in order of importance. The next morning, I tackle them one by one, starting with the most critical. This simple but powerful technique removed the guesswork from my mornings and ensured that I always started my day with a clear plan. By integrating these strategies into my daily routine, I noticed a significant decrease in stress and a marked increase in productivity. What began as a simple experiment with a few rules quickly evolved into a comprehensive, reliable system. It's not just about getting more done—it's about getting the right things done, effectively and efficiently. Whether you're just beginning your journey into productivity or looking to refine your existing habits, remember that small, consistent changes can lead to big results. Try incorporating these expert-endorsed rules and techniques into your routine, and watch as your productivity and peace of mind soar.
  23. Many people perceive the world as a complex and unpredictable place, full of variables and circumstances that make it hard to understand what's happening, let alone decide how to act. Whether it's moving to a new city, changing jobs, shifting social circles, or dealing with relationships—be it a breakup or a new beginning—people often feel pressured to make decisions. Sometimes, this pressure comes from external factors, while other times, it’s an internal feeling that staying in the same situation is no longer an option. In such situations, we feel the need to act, to make a choice. The challenge is how to change our perception of the situation or ourselves to better adapt to this uncertainty. Adapting to uncertainty is a significant quest that we all must face. Instead of simply reacting to change, it might be more helpful to understand how our perception of the world aligns with our self-image. We all hold certain beliefs about the world, whether about our careers, relationships, or social dynamics. These beliefs often serve to explain our own problems, which is a natural way of thinking. We look at reality, identify issues, and believe that the problem lies in these external factors. However, the real issue often lies in how we function within these situations and how we see ourselves in relation to them. Usually, we have two sets of perceptions: one about the world and one about ourselves. The struggle arises when we try to align these two perceptions and fail. If you ask someone what they think about themselves, they can tell you. But if you ask about a problematic area in their life, they’ll focus on that issue. Yet, these two things are interconnected. For example, problems you face may stem from how you see yourself or how you perceive and react to the world around you. Aligning our internal self-image with our view of the world is crucial. Often, our self-perception is clouded by biases, past experiences, and ingrained beliefs, making it difficult to see things objectively. For instance, someone might believe they are great at getting along with others, yet their work environment is full of conflict. This discrepancy reveals a gap in self-awareness and the ability to objectively assess the situation. Recognizing these contradictions is key to uncovering the hidden aspects of our perceptions. We must understand that our perceptions of the world and ourselves can and should change. This flexibility is necessary for growth and adaptation. Our world view holds possibilities, but we must also be able to objectively evaluate ourselves and our capabilities. In today’s complex world, people often seek instructions or guidelines to navigate life. In the past, life was simpler, and people had a clearer understanding of how things worked. Now, with the world’s increasing complexity, our desire for clear instructions has grown. However, relying solely on instructions without understanding the underlying principles can leave us feeling lost when those instructions are unavailable. The world’s complexity hasn’t removed its underlying logic. Fundamental principles still exist, and it’s our task to recognize and apply them. If we can identify these principles, we can better understand both the world and ourselves. People often feel overwhelmed by circumstances, leading to a loss of trust in their ability to navigate life. They feel disconnected from their own actions and thoughts, resulting in confusion. The key to overcoming this is to reconstruct our world view in a way that allows us to find stability amidst the chaos. In the past, life was more structured, with clear paths and expectations. Today, the abundance of choices, while liberating, can also be paralyzing. Whether in our professional lives or personal relationships, the lack of clear strategies can make us feel uncertain and insecure. Our task now is to reconstruct our understanding of the world in a way that allows us to navigate it effectively, even when it lacks the clear structure it once had. This process begins with a deep understanding of the reality around us, not just physical phenomena but also relationships, cultural norms, economic factors, and the digital environment. These elements shape our reality and, consequently, our self-perception. By developing the ability to think critically and adaptively, we can create a coherent picture of the world that allows us to function effectively within it. Final Thoughts: This discussion highlights the importance of aligning our self-perception with our understanding of the world, especially in an era of complexity and uncertainty. It’s not just about finding instructions or following guidelines but about developing a deeper understanding of the principles that govern both our internal and external realities. By doing so, we become better equipped to navigate the unpredictability of life with clarity and purpose. I also recommend you to read:
  24. The Myth of Luck | Why Success Is Earned, Not Given Let’s start by challenging the common belief in luck. Renowned cognitive psychologist Julian Rotter once proposed that people could be divided into two categories: those who believe in luck and wait for fortune to favor them, and those who believe success is something they earn through their own efforts. Rotter's extensive research revealed a critical truth: lasting success typically follows those who rely on their own actions, while those who depend on luck often find it slipping through their fingers. However, there’s a caveat - those who rely solely on themselves can sometimes struggle with feelings of depression, but that’s a discussion for another time. Other scientific studies take a closer look at the lives of lottery winners - people who have won staggering sums of money. Initially, winning the lottery seems like the ultimate gateway to happiness, the kind that promises a life of ease and joy. But the reality is far more sobering. Within a year and a half, these winners’ sense of happiness usually reverts to the level they experienced before their windfall, and eventually, many feel even worse than they did before they won. This decline illustrates a fundamental truth: luck can be dangerous if it’s all you rely on. Consider a metaphor to grasp this concept further. Imagine you’re navigating life like a sailing ship dependent on the wind. You might try to catch one breeze after another, but the wind is unpredictable - it might not blow when you need it most. Historically, humanity has developed tools to reduce our dependence on external forces, like steam engines or nuclear-powered icebreakers. These innovations ensure that progress depends on the ship’s own capabilities, not on the whims of the wind. Similarly, in life, we must decide whether to risk sailing with just a sailboat, dependent on luck, or to take control and steer our lives with intent and purpose. Some might argue that luck is about being smarter or more resourceful than others, about spotting a unique opportunity and seizing it. But our world is far too complex for such simplistic thinking. I joke that if someone could truly write a book on how to become a millionaire, that book would never make it to the printing press - someone would grab it long before then. Even if it did get published, it would cause chaos, with everyone becoming millionaires, leading to inflation and economic collapse. This idea highlights a fundamental truth: if success were as simple as following a formula, everyone would be successful. But they aren’t, because the world is filled with empty promises, and many people fall prey to them, hoping for an easy path to success. From get-rich-quick schemes to the latest cryptocurrency fads, there’s always something promising instant success. But these “secret shortcuts” rarely work. Those who achieve real success often tell a story about how they think they succeeded, but the reality is that a multitude of factors - many outside their control - played a role. Certainly, circumstances play a role in success, but these circumstances are often shaped by the individual, even if they don’t realize it. The world is full of opportunities, given its complexity and the myriad processes at play. However, you can only capitalize on these opportunities if you’re prepared - if you have the skills, knowledge, and readiness to recognize and harness them. For example, when I created my business, many thought I was just lucky. What they didn’t see was all the work I had put in beforehand - years of failures, learning, and gaining the skills needed to make the show possible. I made several attempts to create pilots for the show, all of which failed. But these failures were crucial—they taught me what didn’t work and helped me refine my approach. By the time the show finally aired, it was the culmination of all the lessons I had learned from those earlier mistakes. Waiting for luck is the riskiest strategy because it often means missing out on the chance to develop new skills, observe life closely, and understand where your true strengths lie. Instead of hoping for a lucky break, you should be actively working on yourself - training, gaining new competencies, and honing the skills where you have the potential to excel. It’s these focused efforts that ultimately lead to success, not some miraculous stroke of luck. Think of it this way: if an opportunity to excel in your chosen field presented itself right now, would you be ready? What skills and knowledge would you need to seize that opportunity? Different endeavors require different psychological characteristics, and by understanding what’s needed, you can better prepare yourself. It’s possible that the path you’re on might not be the one that truly suits you, which is why self-awareness and continuous development are key. Finally, imagine that a fortunate opportunity is already in front of you. What qualities, skills, and knowledge do you possess that would allow you to make the most of it? By asking yourself these questions, you can develop a plan to prepare for future opportunities, ensuring that when they come, you’re ready to take full advantage. Final thoughts: I underscore the powerful message that success is earned, not given. It challenges the myth of luck, emphasizing that while external factors can influence outcomes, the true foundation of success is built on preparation, resilience, and continuous self-improvement. By focusing on developing our skills and understanding our strengths, we position ourselves to make the most of the opportunities that inevitably come our way. This approach not only increases our chances of success but also makes that success more meaningful and sustainable. In the end, true satisfaction comes from knowing that you’ve earned your achievements through hard work and perseverance, rather than leaving your fate to the whims of chance.
  25. In our modern world, youthfulness has become the ultimate ideal. We celebrate change, dynamism, and emotional intensity, often at the cost of depth and stability. This cultural fixation on staying "forever young" glorifies a carefree, unattached existence, where responsibility is viewed as a burden that limits our freedom. This mindset is embodied in the archetypes of Puer aeternus (the eternal youth) and Puella aeterna (the eternal girl)—figures who resist the transition into adulthood, clinging to a life of perpetual adolescence. These archetypes, while charming and creative, often struggle to navigate the realities of adult life. They are seen by others as irresponsible, self-centered, and even cruel at times, yet their romanticized view of the world and their childlike wonder remain endearing. But as they move into their thirties and forties, the question arises: do they ever truly grow up? The Puer and Puella archetypes possess both positive and negative aspects. On the positive side, they bring energy, beauty, and creativity into adulthood. They see the world with fresh eyes and often infuse their lives with a sense of wonder and possibility. However, their resistance to maturity can hinder their growth, trapping them in a cycle of unrealistic fantasies and a view of life as restrictive and unfulfilling. They avoid the process of individuation—the psychological journey toward becoming a whole person—which prevents them from fully realizing their potential. This conflict is vividly illustrated in the metaphor of "The Matrix," where the protagonist must choose between the red and blue pills. The blue pill offers a comfortable, albeit illusory, existence, while the red pill exposes the harsh truths of reality. The Puer often opts for the blue pill, avoiding the commitments and discipline that come with adulthood. Responsibility, to them, is like a red flag - something to be avoided at all costs. James Hillman, a Jungian analyst, delves deeply into this phenomenon in his book "Senex and Puer," where he explores the darker side of these archetypes. The Puer is often dependent on maternal protection, avoiding the "cold, cruel world" by retreating into the comforting circle of childhood. Such individuals frequently struggle to find meaningful work because nothing ever feels quite right. Relationships, too, are fraught with dissatisfaction, as no partner is ever "good enough" to warrant full commitment. The Puer is acutely aware of life’s transience, which leads them to avoid deep emotional involvement. They anticipate the end of every relationship and experience, never fully engaging because they believe that disappointment is inevitable. This mindset creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, where their fears of loss and failure lead to shallow connections and unfulfilled experiences. On the other hand, the Puella aeterna mirrors the Puer in her reluctance to commit. She avoids making decisions, preferring to keep all options open rather than limiting herself to a single path. This reluctance to settle on one thing leads to a life of superficial engagement, where she flits from one experience to another without ever truly investing in any role or relationship. Both archetypes fear boundaries and limitations, seeing them as unbearable constraints. They crave endless possibilities, even if it means living in a state of perpetual incompletion. This avoidance of responsibility and commitment keeps them from achieving true individuality and maturity, leaving them adrift in a world of dreams that never materialize. In Jungian psychology, the Puer is often associated with Dionysus, the god of wine, pleasure, and chaos, representing unbounded instinct and emotionality. In contrast, the Senex (the old man archetype) is linked to Apollo, the god of order, discipline, and rationality. These opposing forces within the psyche must be balanced for a healthy, integrated life. A person who is too deeply entrenched in the Puer or Puella archetype lacks the grounding needed for mature adulthood. To grow, the Puer and Puella must "come down to earth" and embrace the mundane aspects of life. This means taking on responsibilities, engaging with the everyday world, and finding fulfillment in the ordinary rather than the extraordinary. It requires a shift from dreaming to doing, from imagining to creating. This journey is akin to the hero's journey, where one must face their fears and confront the "dragon" that guards their inner treasure. For the Puer and Puella, this dragon is the fear of losing their youthful identity and accepting the reality of adulthood. Only by facing this fear can they unlock the deeper rewards of a fully lived life. As a society, we often glorify youthful spirit, yet we fail to provide meaningful rites of passage into adulthood. Without these rituals, many remain stuck in perpetual adolescence, unable to embrace the responsibilities and rewards of mature life. The challenge for the Puer and Puella is to integrate their youthful energy into a balanced and grounded existence, where they can still dream but also build something real. Final Thoughts: The tension between holding onto youth and embracing adulthood is more relevant than ever in today’s world. While staying connected to your youthful spirit can bring creativity and passion, it’s essential to balance this with the responsibilities and realities of adult life. The journey from perpetual youth to mature adulthood is challenging, but it is necessary for true self-realization. By embracing both the *Puer* and *Senex* within us, we can lead lives that are not only vibrant and imaginative but also meaningful and fulfilling. I also recommend you to read: The Illusion of Adulthood: Unveiling the Realities Behind Growing Up
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