Anderson

With the ease of access to instant gratification, smartphones have gradually pushed nearly everything else out of our lives. Statistics show that the average smartphone user spends about 5.5 hours per day on their device. These are average numbers, which means that many people spend even more time on their phones. And we all know that this isn’t just work-related. When Steve Jobs introduced the iPhone in 2007, he called it a revolutionary and magical product. He was right. The iPhone and other smartphones, with their easy access to the internet and apps for social media and games, have drastically changed our relationship with information. Never before has access to information been so easy. Today, we can find out anything, connect with anyone, order something, or resolve a work issue at any moment and from almost anywhere on the planet. This is indeed a revolution. But this revolution didn’t just change our relationship with information; it also radically altered our relationship with time, boredom, and distraction. Older generations struggle to recall what they used to do in moments of boredom or waiting before smartphones existed. Younger people have never known anything different because they’ve always had a smartphone at hand. Although it initially seemed like a blessing, it gradually became clear that by eliminating boredom and providing unbearable ease of quick pleasures, smartphones have effectively squeezed out everything else from our lives—enjoying nature, reading books, studying, thinking, meaningful conversations, sleep, playing outdoors—all these are crucial activities. Some of them are even pleasurable, and in the long run, they provide a sense of happiness and fulfillment in life. But all of these activities require some form of effort from us, whereas a smartphone demands nothing. In modern smartphone models, you don’t even need to press a single button. Moreover, the phone is always with us—in our pocket, bag, or right in front of us on the table. Most of the time, we literally don’t have to take a single step to indulge in the endless source of quick pleasures that our phones provide. Our brains are wired to always prefer immediate pleasures available right now over those that require waiting. Even more so, it prefers quick pleasure over something that doesn’t bring pleasure at all, even if it’s beneficial in the long term, like studying, working, or exercising. While our rational brain fully understands the dangers of endlessly scrolling through our smartphones, in almost any situation, many people can’t put them down—even when brushing their teeth, engaging in intimate moments, or waiting for a card payment to go through at the store. The part of the brain responsible for this behavior is the limbic system, which couldn’t care less about rational considerations. It simply wants to get a dose of pleasure immediately because, for it, pleasure unequivocally means something useful. Given that the limbic system has been shaped and honed over millions of years of evolution, it is much stronger than our rational brain and almost always wins in a direct confrontation. Because smartphones perfectly meet the demands of the limbic system, it’s incredibly difficult to fight against their influence. Trying to take away its favorite source of easily accessible pleasure means engaging in a battle with evolution itself. As you can imagine, the odds of winning such a battle aren’t great. But this doesn’t mean all hope is lost and there’s no way out. Although it may be nearly impossible to directly overcome the limbic system and the smartphones that have so successfully hacked it, you can use your rational brain, specifically the prefrontal cortex, to find ways around it. Here, we’ll discuss practical techniques based on understanding how our brain works that can help you do just that. As usual in my posts, this one won’t just be a list of supposedly effective techniques with a “do this, and everything will be great” approach. As we go through this, we’ll examine which features of smartphones make them so irresistible and how different techniques can counteract these features. Because when you understand how, why, and for what purpose something works, you can always modify the techniques to suit yourself or even create your own. Fighting Smartphones is a Battle Against Evolution The challenge of resisting smartphones lies in the fact that they perfectly align with the demands of our limbic system. This makes their influence so difficult to combat. Trying to deprive the limbic system of its favorite source of easily accessible pleasure is essentially like waging war against evolution itself. The odds of success, given such a scenario, are slim. But that doesn’t mean there’s no way out. While it may be nearly impossible to directly overcome the limbic system and the smartphones that have so successfully hacked it, you can use your rational brain—specifically, the prefrontal cortex—to act indirectly and find a workaround.. App Blockers Reducing smartphone usage often requires making it more difficult to access distracting apps. One of the most effective ways to achieve this is by using app blockers. While there’s advice out there suggesting a complete abandonment of smartphones, let’s be realistic—this isn’t feasible for most people. However, it is possible to not use your phone during specific times, and app blockers can help with that. Here are the important features to look for in an app blocker: 1. Strong Blocking Features: Choose a blocker that makes it genuinely difficult to bypass. The best blockers might require you to enter a long password, type out a lengthy piece of text, or even make it nearly impossible to disable the block without uninstalling the app. This extra step gives your prefrontal cortex the time it needs to intervene and potentially decide against opening the app. 2. Ability to Block Both Apps and Websites: Opt for an app blocker that can block not only apps but also websites. This ensures that distractions from multiple sources are minimized. 3. Two Blocking Modes: Set up two types of blocking schedules. The first is time-based blocking, which you can set to automatically activate during specific periods (like the first hour after you wake up or the last hour before you go to bed). The second mode is on-demand blocking, which you can activate whenever you need focused time (for example, when you’re playing with your child and want to be fully present for 45 minutes, or when you’re working on a project and need an hour of undistracted time). It's crucial to pre-set these blocking configurations. If you attempt to configure them on the spot, you risk getting distracted in the process, especially if your limbic system, which is adept at seeking immediate gratification, finds a way to bypass your efforts. By setting up these blocks in advance, you close off potential loopholes that could lead to distractions. Physical Strategies for Limiting Access to Smartphones One of the most effective ways to reduce smartphone usage is to physically limit access to the device. Since most of us carry our phones with us everywhere, we’ve become accustomed to having them on hand for any situation. We often justify this by saying we might miss an important call or message. But how many truly urgent calls have you received over the years that couldn’t wait? Unless you work in emergency services, these instances are rare. This is where cognitive biases come into play, such as the fear of missing out (FOMO). Our brain tricks us into thinking that something critical might happen, leading us to constantly keep our phones close. However, this is more about irrational fears than reality. By creating a physical separation between you and your smartphone, you reduce the temptation to constantly check it. For instance, when you go to bed, charge your phone in another room rather than keeping it on your nightstand. Research shows that avoiding smartphone use before and during sleep improves happiness, quality of life, and reduces phone dependency symptoms. This is a small but significant change that can help you get better sleep and, over time, reduce your reliance on your phone. Handling Triggers that Lead to Smartphone Use Apart from the time around sleep, there are other periods when we are more likely to reach for our phones. These often include evenings without specific plans, meal breaks, waiting periods, difficult or tedious tasks, and other moments when we feel either stressed or bored. One strategy is to become aware of these triggers and plan how to handle them in advance. When you know that you’re likely to reach for your phone in certain situations—like while waiting in line or sitting in a café alone—decide ahead of time not to do it. Instead, take in your surroundings, observe people, or even eavesdrop on conversations (in a non-intrusive way, of course). If you feel the urge to check your phone during these times, having a pre-determined plan can help you resist. Over time, this conscious effort can help break the automatic habit of reaching for your phone. Making Your Phone Less Appealing One surprisingly effective strategy to reduce smartphone use is to make your phone as unappealing as possible. This can be done by changing the background to something neutral or even unsettling and removing any apps that aren’t essential. Keep only the most utilitarian apps like your calendar, maps, timer, and notes. Replace addictive apps with useful content, like eBooks you’ve been meaning to read. This strategy works because it removes the temptation of quick entertainment. If your phone only contains practical apps and lacks anything visually or emotionally engaging, you’re less likely to spend time on it. Over time, you may find that your phone becomes a tool rather than a source of constant distraction. Final Thoughts Smartphone addiction is a complex issue deeply intertwined with how our brains have evolved to seek out and prioritize immediate gratification. While technology has advanced rapidly, our brains are still wired to favor quick, easy rewards, making smartphones a perfect tool for constant engagement. The strategies discussed—using app blockers, creating physical separation, managing triggers, and making your phone less appealing—are all ways to combat this addiction by working with, rather than against, our natural tendencies. In the end, the goal isn’t to eliminate smartphones from our lives but to use them in a way that enhances, rather than detracts from, our overall well-being. By being mindful of how and when we use our devices, we can reclaim our time, attention, and ultimately, our lives.

What is this about Understanding psychosomatic disorders reminds us of the profound impact our mental state has on our physical health. It’s a powerful example of how our thoughts and emotions aren’t just abstract—they can shape our reality, including our physical well-being. The key takeaway here is the importance of maintaining a balanced lifestyle and a positive mindset. These are not just buzzwords; they are essential tools for leading a healthy, fulfilling life. Setting goals, staying connected, and managing stress are all within our power, and they can make a significant difference in how we feel, both mentally and physically. The Link Between Mind and Body: Understanding Psychosomatic Disorders Psychosomatic disorders illustrate how deeply intertwined our mental and physical health truly are. These conditions occur when psychological stressors like anxiety, depression, or trauma manifest as physical symptoms. What makes psychosomatic disorders particularly challenging is that, while the symptoms are real and can significantly impact quality of life, they often lack a clear medical explanation. The Science Behind Psychosomatic Disorders The term "psychosomatic" comes from the Greek words "psyche," meaning mind, and "soma," meaning body. This connection emphasizes that our mental state can significantly affect our physical health. When we experience prolonged stress, our body’s response isn't just limited to emotional turmoil—it can trigger real, physical ailments. Common Psychosomatic Disorders These disorders can affect various bodily systems, but certain areas are more commonly impacted: 1. Cardiovascular System: Stress and anxiety can elevate blood pressure and increase the risk of heart disease. Over time, this constant strain on the cardiovascular system can lead to serious conditions like hypertension and heart attacks. 2. Digestive System: Stress can wreak havoc on the digestive system, contributing to conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), ulcers, and gastritis. The gut, often referred to as the "second brain," is highly sensitive to emotional stressors. 3. Skin Conditions: The skin is another area where stress and psychological factors can cause problems. Conditions like eczema, psoriasis, and certain types of dermatitis often flare up in response to emotional distress. 4. Respiratory Issues: Asthma and other respiratory conditions can worsen due to psychological stress. The mind-body connection here is strong, as stress can lead to symptoms like shortness of breath and chest tightness. 5. Chronic Pain: Persistent pain, such as in fibromyalgia or unexplained back pain, often lacks a clear physical cause. Instead, these pains are frequently tied to unresolved psychological issues or chronic stress. What Triggers Psychosomatic Disorders? Several factors contribute to the development of psychosomatic disorders: 1. Chronic Stress: Long-term exposure to stress triggers the release of cortisol and adrenaline. While these hormones are essential for immediate survival, their prolonged presence in the body can lead to physical health problems, including immune system suppression and cardiovascular issues. 2. Anxiety and Depression: These mental health conditions are notorious for exacerbating physical symptoms. For instance, someone with anxiety may experience palpitations, digestive issues, or chronic pain, all of which are physically real but psychologically induced. 3. Trauma: Past traumatic experiences can lead to long-lasting psychosomatic symptoms. The body often "remembers" trauma, manifesting it through physical pain or illness long after the emotional wounds have healed. 4. Unhealthy Lifestyle Choices: Poor diet, lack of exercise, smoking, and excessive alcohol consumption not only weaken the body but also increase the likelihood of developing psychosomatic disorders. These habits can create a vicious cycle, where physical symptoms increase stress, leading to further unhealthy behaviors. 5. Social Isolation: A lack of social support can magnify the effects of stress and depression, increasing the risk of psychosomatic disorders. Humans are inherently social beings, and feeling disconnected can severely impact both mental and physical health. Managing and Treating Psychosomatic Disorders Addressing psychosomatic disorders requires a holistic approach that treats both the mind and body: 1. Psychotherapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and other forms of psychotherapy can help individuals manage stress, anxiety, and depression, which are often at the root of psychosomatic symptoms. 2. Stress Reduction Techniques: Practices like mindfulness meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises can significantly reduce the stress that contributes to psychosomatic symptoms. These techniques promote relaxation and help break the cycle of stress-induced physical symptoms. 3. Medication: In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage symptoms. This can include antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications, or other drugs that address the physical manifestations of psychosomatic disorders. 4. Healthy Lifestyle Changes: Improving diet, increasing physical activity, and ensuring adequate sleep are crucial steps in managing psychosomatic disorders. These changes not only strengthen the body but also improve mental resilience. 5. Building Strong Relationships: Strengthening social connections and seeking support from friends, family, or support groups can provide a buffer against stress and its physical manifestations. Conclusion: The Importance of Goals and Positive Focus At the heart of overcoming psychosomatic disorders is the concept of balance—balancing mental and physical health, stress and relaxation, social connections, and personal goals. Setting clear, meaningful goals and maintaining a positive outlook can help shift the body’s stress response from one of survival mode to one of growth and resilience. The human body is remarkably adaptive. By focusing on what we can control—our reactions, our habits, our goals—we can influence how our body responds to stress. This isn’t just about avoiding illness; it’s about fostering a state of well-being where both the mind and body thrive.

Misconception of Good and Evil In childhood, we were taught that pain and rejection of evil are noble. But I believe this is a misunderstanding. It’s not the rejection of evil that is noble, but the presence of good. We must also accept evil, and this acceptance should come first. Any evil is a distorted understanding of love, a suffering of the one who does evil, even if they do so with joy and a smile. What we perceive as evil, unpleasant, or bad is a reflection of our own hands, our soul. It is our judgment and a result of the lack of harmony within us. True Happiness and Removing Masks The world where everyone is happy is simple. It is populated by people who do not wear masks. We are authentic there, as we are in our souls. This is paradise, the very biblical paradise spoken of by priests, and it is available at any moment, anywhere in the universe. To access it, we just need to remove our masks and be ourselves. Each of us has an infinite ocean of goodness and love. I became convinced of this through various experiments with unsuspecting strangers while learning sales. In conversations with strangers, I managed to find an approach to completely different people in 15-20 minutes.

This text presents a profound reflection on the nature of desire and the challenges associated with pursuing our deepest wishes. It’s a powerful reminder that while effort and determination are crucial, they don’t always guarantee success. The key takeaway is the importance of our relationship with our desires, particularly the unfulfilled ones. This perspective offers a liberating shift from self-criticism to self-acceptance, allowing us to find peace and balance even when life doesn’t go according to plan. It’s a lesson in humility and a call to embrace the unpredictability of life without letting it undermine our self-worth. --- I've always had a deeply held desire: I've always wanted to be a highly sought-after individual. The kind of person who gets invited to every party, who is offered exciting projects and prestigious positions, who is lured with high salaries. I've wished for this for many years, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, this desire remains just that - a wish. Am I alone in this? Certainly not. Everyone has a cherished dream. Some people spend years searching for a life partner, others struggle for decades trying to discover their true calling. Some yearn desperately for children, while others crave freedom. The thing about deeply held desires is that they have a frustrating trait: regular desires either get fulfilled or fade away over time. But these cherished desires are different—they stubbornly refuse to either come true or be forgotten, haunting us for years, sometimes even a lifetime, constantly reminding us of what we lack. For a long time, I believed my problem was that I couldn't fulfill my deepest desire. I spent years harshly criticizing myself for my inability to achieve what I wanted. Until one day, I realized that the problem wasn't that I couldn't fulfill my desire—it was that I believed this desire had to be fulfilled. In a society saturated with success stories and fueled by the relentless optimism of life coaches, it's considered shameful to even admit that you have a desire you can't realize. Such a situation is deemed unnatural, abnormal, marking the person with the unfulfilled desire as a loser or a victim of some great injustice. But why should it be? Even if you want something with all your heart, and you try your absolute hardest, gathering every ounce of your willpower, staying relentlessly focused, and inching closer to your goal every single day, you can still fail to achieve what you desire. And there's no shame in that. The truth is, the fulfillment of our desires, no matter how cherished they may be, depends not only on us and our efforts but also on countless other factors entirely beyond our control. As one philosopher noted years ago, "The hand of providence reveals itself through the dreams we fail to realize." And I believe he was right. Should we strive to fulfill our desires? Yes, of course - that’s not up for debate. The real question is: Where is the point in our pursuit of a desire when it’s time to stop? Where is the line beyond which determination turns into a waste of time and energy, and self-confidence morphs into self-flagellation? The more I believe I will surely achieve my goal, the less I understand when to stop, and the worse I become at assessing risks. The more I tell myself that my desire will certainly be fulfilled, the harder I fall when it isn’t. People often say that Buddha taught the path to happiness lies in the elimination of desires. But I think that's a misunderstanding. The elimination of desires is just another desire, no better or worse than any other. The quality of my life doesn't depend on whether I manage to get rid of my desires, but on how I relate to them, especially those desires that remain unfulfilled. Whether I choose to strive or not is entirely up to me, but whether I succeed or not is something completely out of my control. Since I came to this realization, life has become much easier. How about you?

My father believed in communism and socialism with a human face. For ten years, I tried to prove to him that communism was impossible to achieve, and that socialism with a human face was nothing more than a mythical creature, incapable of existing. But my father never gave up. He fought until his last breath. Seriously. He passed away without ever admitting what, to me, was absolutely obvious. He left me with a question that haunted me for many years. My father was a smart man. He was a talented journalist. So why couldn’t he recognize and accept the truth? You know, I’ve realized that when we argue with someone, trying to prove our point, we rarely consider what accepting our truth would mean for that person. We say, "You don’t see the obvious," to our opponent. But here’s the question: Who does that make them if they can’t see the obvious? We say, "You support bloodshed and a totalitarian regime." Who does that make them if they’re on the side of bloodshed? It was so easy for me to accept the truth... But for my father, accepting it would have meant acknowledging so much more—things that had never even occurred to me. It would have meant admitting that he should have left when everyone else was leaving, admitting that he was wrong to believe when many didn’t, admitting that in dozens of arguments over countless issues, he had been completely wrong, despite believing he was absolutely right. For him to accept what was so obvious to me, my father would have had to accept and admit that much of his life had been a mistake. There’s a remarkable fact: many citizens of countries that were part of Hitler's coalition never fully admitted the existence of concentration camps until the end of their lives. Because such an admission would have made them responsible for what happened in those camps. It used to be difficult for me to understand this. Today, it's much easier. When we trust our country, we invest our very lives in it. Trusting a business means investing money, but trusting your country means investing your life. I don’t know if it's possible to betray your homeland. But I know for sure that your homeland can betray you. It’s terrifying if a friend betrays you. It’s terrifying if a loved one or a business partner betrays you. But nothing is more terrifying than being betrayed by your country. How do you talk to someone who can't see the obvious? People, when faced with uncomfortable truths, may choose to ignore or deny them, not out of ignorance, but because acknowledging those truths would require them to confront profound implications about their lives, decisions, and identities. This is particularly true when those beliefs have been a cornerstone of their existence. When someone clings to a belief that seems obviously flawed, they may be protecting themselves from the pain of admitting past mistakes or the fear of losing their sense of self. In this light, talking to someone who "can't see the obvious" isn’t just about presenting facts or logical arguments. It’s about understanding the deep emotional and psychological stakes involved for that person. The answer to the question, then, might lie in empathy and patience. Instead of trying to force someone to see what you see, it might be more effective to approach the conversation with an understanding of what accepting the truth would mean for them. Acknowledging their fears, their identity, and the potential loss they face can create a space where they feel safe to question their beliefs—when they're ready. It's not an easy path, and it might not lead to immediate change, but it's a more compassionate approach that respects the complexity of human psychology.

We are all, without exception, professional investors. Seriously. Every day, throughout our lives, we invest the most precious resource we have - time - in hopes of yielding the most valuable outcome: joy and fulfilment from life. Although we often don’t realize it, these investments are far riskier and more complex than financial ones. Unlike money, lost time is irrecoverable. If you invest your time unwisely and fail to gain happiness, that time is gone forever, with no possibility of replenishment. I used to think I was investing my time in earning money, building a career, improving my health, or nurturing relationships. But then it dawned on me that these aren’t the final goals—they’re just steps along the way to our ultimate objective: joy. Whether it’s achieving athletic success, gaining power, or finding love, these are merely projects where we allocate our time capital. In reality, they’re not the end goals. They’re just the means to an end, the end being the happiness we hope to gain. In my life, I’ve made many poor investment decisions. Looking back, it’s frightening to think about the enormous amounts of time I poured into projects that, in the end, didn’t bring me any joy. It’s astonishing how we all recognize that time is more valuable than money, yet I spent most of my life willing to invest my time under conditions I’d never accept if it were money on the line. I invested time in relationships that brought more pain than happiness. I invested in businesses that caused more stress than satisfaction. I lost hundreds of thousands of hours on these failed investments before I finally learned to assess my time investments not by the intermediate goals achieved, but by the ultimate result: how much happiness these goals actually brought me. I learned to ask myself, “How much joy am I getting for each unit of time I invest?” regardless of whether that time was spent on career, relationships, meditation, or therapy. I began to ask myself these questions, answer honestly, and make decisions based on those answers. Often, it seems like each of us is running our own personal business - some of us build, some write, some repair, some manage. But the truth is, we’re all engaged in the same business. We’re all investing our time in the pursuit of joy. It’s a global enterprise, one in which we’re all involved, without exception. This means we have a tremendous opportunity to share our experiences in this business. What investment in joy has been the most successful for you? Which one was the biggest failure? What time investment brought you the most happiness? Which one drained your joy instead of adding to it? Let’s share our stories, because, after all, we’re all in this business together.

This perspective on joy challenges the common notion that joy is something to be found or discovered within oneself, suggesting instead that joy is something we actively create through engaging with life's challenges. This approach emphasizes resilience and a proactive mindset, turning problems into opportunities for growth and happiness. It also highlights the importance of helping others as a source of personal joy, reminding us that our well-being is interconnected with the well-being of those around us. This view of joy as something to be "hunted" and cultivated through effort and persistence can be empowering, encouraging us to take control of our happiness rather than waiting for it to appear. ---- Throughout my life, I often felt a lack of joy, so every time I encountered a new guru or spiritual teacher, I couldn't resist asking my favorite question: "How can I learn to find joy in life?" Usually, they would brush me off with advice to "look within for joy." I tried, sincerely. But no matter how much I searched inside myself, I never found any joy. This went on until one day, a simple question came to my mind: Where does joy even come from in life? Seriously, where? When I felt lonely, having friends over brought joy. When I was broke, getting some money was a huge joy. If I was hungry, delicious food brought another kind of joy. Typically, we see problems and difficulties as the opposite of joy. We say, "I have a problem," and sigh sadly. But in reality, it’s not like that at all. As strange as it may sound, joy in life actually comes from problems, challenges, and hardships. Every problem is a unique opportunity to experience joy - all you need to do is recognize it. Take any problem in your life and treat it like a puzzle that needs to be solved with whatever tools you have at hand. If you manage to solve it, you'll feel joy. Of course, there are unsolvable problems. But there are also plenty of solvable ones, enough to ensure even the most demanding person can have a steady supply of joy. There’s no point in searching for joy within because joy doesn’t appear on its own, just like food doesn’t magically appear on the kitchen shelf. For joy to exist in your life, you need to cultivate it, much like how people used to hunt for gold or furs. The pursuit of joy is an activity that requires skill, persistence, and a bit of luck. To harvest joy, you first need to find a good, "well-fed" problem. The bigger the problem, the harder it is to solve, but the more joy you can extract from it. A substantial, well-nourished problem can keep you joyous for weeks. However, even smaller problems shouldn’t be ignored—solve one or two, and soon you’ll have enough joy to share with friends. But the most wonderful thing about the pursuit of joy is that you don’t necessarily have to solve your own problems to find it. Someone else's problem - even if it belongs to a complete stranger - can bring you just as much joy when you help solve it. All good things in life come from something bad because there's simply nowhere else for them to come from. Each of us is part of a global process of turning bad into good, uncomfortable into comfortable, and ugly into beautiful. This is a manual, non-automated process, meaning that each of us is responsible for our own share. So, how much good were you able to extract from the bad yesterday? Last week? Last month? For yourself, for others, for people you know, or even for strangers? The amount you managed to extract is exactly how much joy you’ll have in your life. Or, of course, you could try looking for joy within. But I’ve already looked there.

The connection between this narrative and workaholism lies in the idea that when someone fixates on a single vocation or mission, they may fall into the trap of workaholism - where they become consumed by their work to the exclusion of other aspects of life. Workaholism is often a symptom of this narrow focus, where a person believes that their work is their sole source of identity, purpose, or fulfillment. In the context of the narrative: - Fixating on a single vocation or mission can lead to an unhealthy obsession with work, as the individual seeks all their fulfillment from one aspect of life. - Workaholism is a manifestation of this fixation, where a person’s life becomes dominated by their work, often at the expense of their well-being, relationships, and other potential passions or purposes. - The narrative suggests that by recognizing the roles of mission, passion, and work as separate but complementary, a person can avoid the pitfalls of workaholism. Instead, they can lead a more balanced life, finding fulfillment in multiple areas rather than being consumed by just one. Thus, workaholism is the danger that arises when one conflates their entire sense of purpose with their job or vocation, ignoring the broader potentials and purposes that life offers. Abraham Lincoln was a natural-born politician. Yet, at the height of his career, he feared carrying a pocket knife with him, as his depression was so severe that he worried he might use it against himself. Winston Churchill, another politician by nature, battled his depression through writing. His depression was so intense during his peak years that he managed to write 43 books simultaneously. This raises the question: is politics inherently a thankless job? Not necessarily. Take Robin Williams, a natural actor and comedian who ended his life by suicide. Perhaps it’s fame that ruins everything? Again, not the case. Wayne Oates, a psychologist who wasn't particularly famous but deeply loved his work, was shocked when he found out that his own son had booked an appointment with him because he had no other way to talk to his father calmly. This led Oates to coin the term "workaholism." We often think that finding our calling in life will change everything. The notion of discovering one's true calling doing something you're meant to do and dedicating your life to it—seems appealing. But is it really as good as it seems? Consider Jay Little, a famous double bassist who began her career with the city's symphony orchestra and played for 71 years until she passed away at 87, right on stage while performing "There’s No Business Like Show Business." Her life seems like the perfect example of a person who found their calling and devoted their entire existence to it. But is this really ideal? The word “vocation” comes from the Latin root that means "to call," similar to being drafted into military service. This raises some suspicions. While it might seem like the concept of vocation has been around forever, it's relatively recent, originating with the rise of industrialization. The concept was tied closely to the exploitation of child labor. Yes, you heard that right. The idea of vocation was popularized by Frank Parsons in 1908, who ran an employment agency that focused on finding the right children for factory jobs rather than fitting jobs to people. The agency treated children as parts of a machine, fitting them into roles based on psychological tests designed to determine their suitability for specific jobs. The romanticized notion of vocation has hardly changed since then. The idea was, and still is, about making a person a part of a machine—a cog in the wheel of production. This suggests that people have one specific function, like ants in a colony: one builds, another heals, and another leads. But we are not suitcases or chairs, destined for one purpose. The writer Arthur Brooks, in his book "Strength to Strength," sums it up well: If you've ever said, "My work is my life," then losing that job would feel like death. The problem with tying your identity to a single vocation is that it limits your potential for self-realization. We mistakenly equate vocation with fulfillment. But unlike inanimate objects, people can't fully realize themselves through a single function or activity. Humans are flexible, versatile, and capable of much more. Psychologists Ronald Fredrickson and John Rod in 1972 introduced the term "multipotentiality," which reflects the idea that a person, given the right environment, can develop multiple skills and interests. However, this concept isn't new. People like Leonardo da Vinci were not exceptions, but rather the norm before industrialization pushed the idea of a single vocation. For example, Maurice Maeterlinck was a successful lawyer and a well-known writer. Daniel Defoe, famous for "Robinson Crusoe," was also a professional spy. Gregor Mendel, the father of genetics, was a monk and a scientist. Victor Hugo was not only a writer but also a politician who nearly became the ruler of France. Throughout history, many individuals have shown that they can excel in multiple areas. The fixation on vocation emerged as a way to fit people into the demands of industrial society. In reality, people are capable of many things and shouldn't be confined to just one path. So, what should we do instead of searching for a single calling? There are three distinct forms of fulfillment: mission, passion, and work. The key is not to mix them up. A mission is something you do because you believe it’s important for the world, society, or your country. A passion is something you do purely for enjoyment, and work is something you do to earn money. Missions, like helping refugees or volunteering, are driven by a sense of importance. Passions allow for freedom and creativity, while work is about necessity and income. Understanding the difference between these three can prevent you from feeling trapped or unfulfilled. For example, if you try to make money from your passion, it might stop being a passion and become work, where you no longer do what you love but what others want from you. If your job doesn’t bring you joy but pays the bills, that’s okay—it serves its purpose. If your work doesn’t pay enough, it might be time to find something that aligns better with what people need because they pay for what they value. For me, the most important of these three is mission. What about you? Think about it, and while you’re at it, remember that even something as mundane as a treadmill was originally invented as a torture device in prisons. The things we take for granted often have surprising histories. In summary, the idea that you must find one single vocation to be fulfilled is misleading. Humans are versatile, capable of finding meaning and success in multiple areas of life. So, rather than tying your identity to a single vocation, explore different paths and embrace the complexity of your potential. Final Thoughts The narrative highlights the danger of fixating on a single vocation as the key to fulfillment. The truth is, people are multifaceted and capable of finding purpose and happiness in various aspects of life. By recognizing that mission, passion, and work serve different roles, we can better balance our lives and avoid the trap of thinking that one path will fulfill all our needs. It’s important to explore, adapt, and embrace the many potentials within us rather than confining ourselves to a single, often narrow, definition of success.

I'm glad you enjoyed the post, and I love how you’ve already started applying the concept of balancing different kinds of rest. Your approach of taking a long walk after a mentally exhausting day and seeking mental stimulation after physical work is a great way to listen to your body and mind. Let's dive into your questions: 1. Determining Which Type of Rest You Need Most It often comes down to tuning into how you're feeling at the end of the day. If you feel mentally foggy or emotionally drained, it’s a sign you need something that can quiet your mind—like physical rest, creative activities, or spiritual reflection. On the other hand, if you’re physically tired but mentally restless, engaging in something intellectually stimulating can help you wind down. The key is paying attention to what feels off-balance. Over time, you’ll get better at recognizing the signs. 2. Balancing Different Types of Rest Daily Balancing rest types involves a bit of planning and flexibility. Consider your daily schedule and the demands it places on you. If you know you’ll have an intense meeting or project, plan some downtime afterward that contrasts with that activity—whether it’s physical movement, creative expression, or quiet reflection. Integrating short breaks throughout the day can also help maintain balance, like a quick walk between meetings or a few minutes of deep breathing or meditation after an emotionally charged conversation. 3. Knowing When Rest Has Been Effective You can tell your rest has been effective when you feel a genuine sense of renewal afterward. This might show up as mental clarity, a lighter mood, or simply a reduction in stress. You should feel more prepared to tackle the next part of your day or the following day’s tasks. If you still feel sluggish, irritable, or mentally drained, it might be a sign that you need a different type of rest or more time dedicated to it. I hope this helps clarify things! It’s a fascinating topic, and I’m excited to continue the conversation. Feel free to share your experiences or any new questions that come up.

Thank you for sharing your experience! It’s inspiring to hear how you and your husband have navigated these changes together. It sounds like you've found a great balance by making healthy living a joint effort, which is such a powerful way to strengthen both your relationship and your well-being. Cooking together, enjoying hikes, and even those playful home workout sessions—these are all fantastic ways to stay connected and motivated. I completely agree with you on the importance of support and communication. When both partners are invested in each other’s well-being, it creates a positive cycle where one person's motivation can uplift the other. It’s also wonderful how you’ve embraced the idea of taking turns being the optimistic one—it really highlights the teamwork aspect of a healthy relationship. Keep up the great work, and keep enjoying those questionable dance moves—sometimes they’re the best kind of motivation!

Sometimes when you're striving to achieve something, it feels like the whole world is conspiring against you. Everything that can break, does, and even things that shouldn't break, somehow do. As soon as you overcome one obstacle, another one immediately appears in your path. This brings up an interesting question: how do you know when to keep pushing forward and when to accept that life might be telling you to stop and reassess your path? I had a friend who spent years launching project after project, each one failing despite his efforts. He poured his time, energy, and even others' money into these ventures, always believing that the next one would be the breakthrough he was looking for. Despite the setbacks, he kept going, driven by the hope that his perseverance would eventually lead to success. But each failure only brought another painful lesson, not the success he sought. This got me thinking - what drives someone to keep pursuing something, even when all signs suggest they should stop? We instinctively avoid physical pain, pulling our hand away from a hot stove, yet when it comes to emotional or psychological pain, we often push through, hoping for a different outcome. People keep trying, even when they keep getting burned, because of hope - the belief that maybe, just maybe, things will turn out differently this time. This is true in love, in business, and in personal ambitions. We see stories of success after repeated failure, like the Wright brothers who managed to fly a plane just 63 days after a major publication declared that humanity was centuries away from achieving powered flight. But for every success story, there are countless others, like my friend, who work tirelessly without ever reaching their goal. This is kind of building the "Schmidt tunnel". So, how can you tell if you're on the right path? If you're about to achieve something great, or if you're just stubbornly digging a tunnel through a mountain of granite for 30 years, only to find it's no longer needed by the time you finish? The difference between those who succeed and those who don't isn't just about hard work - it's about knowing when to push forward and when to pivot. According to teachings in Kabbalah and some wisdom from Judaism, there are three scenarios to consider: 1. Practical Necessity: If you're motivated by a real, pressing need—like escaping danger or addressing a crucial issue—you’re likely to succeed because the stakes are high and the need is genuine. For instance, people who are forced to leave their country due to war or persecution often find a way to establish a new life elsewhere, despite the challenges. 2. Joy in the Process: If you’re driven by the enjoyment of what you’re doing, then the journey itself becomes the reward. Success becomes secondary to the joy of creation or the process. This can be seen in someone who takes up a new hobby late in life and finds immense satisfaction in it, regardless of the outcome. 3. Desire for a Specific Outcome: This is the most dangerous scenario. If your motivation is purely about achieving a specific result, without any practical necessity or joy in the process, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. This is where stubbornness can lead to wasted efforts—like digging a tunnel that no one will use, simply because you want to prove you can. If everything in your life is falling apart, if obstacles keep piling up, it might be time to stop and consider whether you’re building your own version of Schmidt’s tunnel. Pushing through when life is clearly resisting can sometimes lead to a hollow victory, or no victory at all. My thoughts on this are that life is a balancing act between persistence and wisdom. Knowing when to push forward and when to let go is key to avoiding unnecessary suffering. It’s not about giving up easily, but about being smart in how you invest your time, energy, and resources. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away from a path that no longer serves you, even if you’ve been on it for years. Success is not just about reaching a destination—it’s about the journey and knowing when you’re on the right road. What about you? Have you ever built your own "Schmidt tunnel," or did you manage to find your way to a more fruitful path? Share your thoughts in the comments!

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a powerful quote in a self-development book: "What's the most amazing thing you could be working on, and why aren't you doing it?" This question struck a deep chord with me, and from that moment on, I decided to stop wasting a single minute. I began to structure my days around productivity - everything had to be purposeful. Work, learning new skills, and even relaxation had to be beneficial. My leisure time transformed into either meditation or reading self-help books; no more fiction or mindless entertainment. At first glance, this might seem admirable - always being productive, constantly busy with something meaningful. But here's the catch: I've forgotten how to be bored. My hands are always clutching some gadget, and information is flooding my mind in an endless stream. This constant influx has drowned out my ability to create or even reflect. My mind is so occupied with consuming that there's no space left for generating new ideas. Ironically, the very pursuit of efficiency that led me to consume more information has resulted in the opposite effect - I feel less creative and more scattered. Worse yet, this constant busyness has taken a toll on my memory. I can read a chapter of a self-help book or watch an educational video, only to forget its content minutes later. Perhaps you've noticed this yourself - our best ideas often come when our minds are at ease, when we're not actively engaged in something. For instance, the shower is a classic place for "lightbulb" moments. In contrast, I've never had a breakthrough idea while mindlessly scrolling through social media. Another issue I've come to realize is that I've stopped dreaming. We dream when our minds are idle, when we have the time to reflect inwardly and ask ourselves what we truly desire. But how can dreams flourish when the mind is perpetually occupied with something rational or the constant intake of information, useful or otherwise? Over time, this capacity to dream atrophies. Recently, I began to wonder: what if I achieved financial stability and gained recognition from others - what then? What do I really want? What do I dream about? Strangely enough, I couldn't find an answer. My mind was blank. This realization was unsettling, and I decided that I want to reclaim my creativity and my ability to work calmly on a single task. I want to make space in my mind for contemplation and learn how to dream again, just like I did in childhood. Back then, all I needed was some free time, solitude, and my imagination to create entire worlds. Steve Jobs once said, "I believe in boredom. Boredom allows one to indulge in curiosity, and out of curiosity, everything is born." Inspired by this, I resolved to spend at least one hour a day doing nothing - to just be with my thoughts. I knew this would be a challenge, as my brain is now wired for constant activity and tangible results. So, I set up an experiment: for one hour each day, over the course of a week, I would avoid using my phone, laptop, or books (whether print, digital, or audio) and refrain from talking to others. I would, however, keep a notebook with me to jot down any thoughts or ideas that might arise. On the first day of the experiment, time seemed to crawl. I checked the clock multiple times, unable to believe that only a minute had passed since the last check. By the end of that hour, I had looked at the clock 17 times - nearly once every three minutes. Frustration set in quickly as I realized that no profound ideas were coming to me. It was hard to resist the urge to do something "productive," like reading the news. My hand instinctively reached for my phone, and it took significant willpower to resist and stay committed to the experiment. The second day was slightly better. Although the temptation to read a water bottle label (which I couldn’t understand due to it being in Chineese) was strong, I managed to stay focused. Surprisingly, a valuable thought struck me within the first few minutes. I began to notice that my thoughts were becoming longer and more coherent compared to the disjointed fragments of the previous day. This gave me hope that perhaps my brain was slowly adjusting to this new state of being. By the third day, I found myself actually looking forward to this hour of doing nothing. I had been productive earlier in the day, and lying down to relax felt like a well-deserved break. My notes from this day doubled in volume compared to the previous day, and I noticed that my thoughts were starting to connect more naturally, almost as if my brain was processing information in the background and delivering insights at the right moment. On the fourth day, I began to let go of my expectations. I realized that it was okay if no groundbreaking ideas emerged during this time. This shift in mindset allowed me to relax even further, leading to the most productive session of the week. I filled my notebook with ideas, including insights about my work habits and a fresh perspective on how I often overwhelm myself with to-do lists. By the fifth and sixth days, the experiment felt less like a chore and more like a necessary part of my day. I stopped expecting anything specific from this hour, which ironically made the time more fruitful. I no longer needed to consciously push thoughts aside; they just flowed more naturally, and I could sift through them at a comfortable pace. As the week concluded, I felt a noticeable difference in how I approached both work and rest. My thoughts had become more fluid and less frantic, allowing me to reconnect with a part of myself that I had neglected for far too long. I realized that I am not a machine, and that it’s perfectly fine to spend time doing nothing. This break from constant productivity not only recharged me but also made room for creativity to flourish once again. Reflecting on this experiment, I’ve come to understand that being constantly busy doesn’t equate to being truly productive. It’s crucial to give your mind the space to breathe, to let ideas incubate, and to allow yourself to dream. Rest is not a waste of time; it's an essential part of the creative process. As I move forward, I plan to continue incorporating these moments of intentional boredom into my routine. The value they bring—both in terms of personal well-being and creative output—cannot be overstated. Final Thoughts This experiment highlights a profound truth about modern life: in our pursuit of constant productivity and self-improvement, we often neglect the importance of rest and reflection. The pressure to always be doing something can lead to burnout and a diminished capacity for creativity and deep thought. By intentionally making time to do nothing, we allow our minds to wander, dream, and ultimately, to create. This balance between action and inaction is essential for sustained productivity and mental well-being. The idea of scheduling time to "be bored" might seem counterintuitive, but as this experiment shows, it can lead to richer, more meaningful insights and a greater sense of inner peace. I would like to recommend you a few topics related to this story:

My First Experience with Active Imagination It all started on a quiet afternoon when I finally decided to try something I’d been curious about for a while: active imagination. I had read about it in a few places and heard that it was a powerful way to connect with the deeper parts of the mind, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. That day, I felt ready to dive in. I began by finding a cozy, quiet spot in my home—a small corner of my living room where I felt safe and comfortable. The sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a soft, warm glow over the room. I sat down on the floor, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, letting the noise of the outside world fade away. At first, my mind was restless, filled with thoughts about the day. But as I focused on my breathing, those thoughts began to quiet down, leaving space for something else to emerge. I didn’t rush it; I just waited patiently, knowing that this was part of the process. After a few moments, an image started to form in my mind - a familiar one. It was a place I’d dreamed of many times before, a small clearing in a forest with tall, ancient trees all around. The light filtering through the leaves created a dappled pattern on the forest floor, and I could hear the gentle rustle of the wind in the branches. I felt a sense of peace as I imagined myself standing there. But today, I didn’t just observe the scene; I stepped into it. I let myself feel the cool earth beneath my feet and the warmth of the sunlight on my skin. As I walked through the clearing, I noticed something I hadn’t seen before—a large stone in the center, smooth and dark, with a faint, glowing symbol etched into its surface. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I knew I needed to explore it further. I approached the stone and placed my hand on it, feeling a gentle vibration beneath my fingers. Suddenly, the symbol began to shift, transforming into a doorway, and before I knew it, I was stepping through it into another world. This new place was different—more abstract, more fluid. The colors were richer, deeper, and the air seemed to hum with energy. I sensed that I wasn’t alone here. I turned around and saw a figure standing in the distance, watching me. It was hazy at first, but as I focused, the figure became clearer—a tall, cloaked person with a calm, wise presence. I felt a mix of curiosity and caution as I approached the figure. When I got closer, I decided to speak, though I wasn’t sure what to say. “Who are you?” I asked, my voice echoing slightly in this strange, dreamlike landscape. The figure didn’t speak at first. Instead, it simply pointed to the sky, where the clouds began to swirl, forming shapes and symbols that felt both familiar and mysterious. I realized this was its way of communicating - through images and sensations rather than words. I watched the sky, trying to understand the message. As I stood there, I began to see patterns in the clouds - scenes from my own life, challenges I’d faced, and emotions I’d buried. It was as if the figure was showing me a map of my own mind, revealing connections and insights I hadn’t seen before. I felt a deep sense of understanding, like pieces of a puzzle finally coming together. After what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, the sky cleared, and the figure lowered its arm, looking at me with what I could only describe as approval. I felt an overwhelming urge to thank it, but before I could, the scene began to dissolve, and I found myself back in the clearing, standing next to the stone. The symbol on the stone was glowing again, but this time it was different - it felt more familiar, more like a part of me. I knew then that I had learned something valuable, something that would stay with me long after I opened my eyes. When I finally returned to the present moment, sitting in my living room, I felt a sense of peace and clarity that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I reached for my journal and began to write down everything I had experienced, wanting to capture every detail before it faded. The images, the feelings, the insights - it all flowed onto the page, and as I wrote, I realized that this was just the beginning of a new journey. To ground the experience, I decided to take a walk outside. I headed to a nearby park, where the trees were just as tall and ancient as the ones in my vision. As I walked, I found a quiet spot to sit and simply observe the world around me—the colors of the leaves, the patterns of the bark, the way the light danced through the branches. It was a simple ritual, but it felt deeply meaningful, a way to bring the insights from my inner world into the outer one. Since that day, I’ve made active imagination a regular practice. Each time, I discover something new, something that helps me understand myself a little better. It’s not always easy, and it can be challenging to confront the deeper parts of my mind, but the rewards are worth it. I’ve learned that the unconscious isn’t just a dark, mysterious place - it’s a source of wisdom, creativity, and connection, just waiting to be explored. And so, I continue to journey within, one step at a time, always curious, always open to what my visionary mind will reveal next.

@Anri You're absolutely right! The evolving sense of adulthood is heavily shaped by shifting expectations around success and identity, and economic pressures certainly play a significant role. Social media, in particular, has amplified these pressures by creating a constant environment of comparison. We see curated versions of others' lives, which can distort our perceptions of what success and adulthood should look like. This comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, as we measure our own lives against these idealized images. It can also blur the lines between personal identity and societal expectations, making it harder for individuals to form a true sense of self. Emotional regulation and self-awareness become even more crucial in this context, as they help us navigate these challenges without losing sight of who we are and what truly matters to us. It's essential to foster a mindset that values personal growth and authenticity over external validation. By doing so, we can better manage the pressures of modern life and create a more fulfilling path to adulthood. Thank you for bringing up such a relevant and thought-provoking point!

Living together isn't just about sharing joys; it's also about sharing calories. I recently came across a fascinating study that explores the connection between relationship milestones and changes in a person’s weight. The article is so insightful and relevant that I felt compelled to share its key findings with you. It delves into how life events like marriage and divorce affect our weight and Body Mass Index (BMI). What Happens to Our Weight When We Get Married? One of the standout findings from the research is that many people experience weight gain after getting married. This is influenced by several factors: 1. Shifting Priorities: When someone gets married, their priorities often change. Family obligations, spending time together, caring for the partner, and possibly children become more important. As a result, time spent on exercise and maintaining a healthy lifestyle tends to decrease. When free time and energy are devoted to the family, fitness often takes a back seat. 2. Changed Eating Habits: Living with a partner significantly alters our eating habits. Couples tend to cook and eat together more often, making shared meals like dinners and breakfasts an integral part of family life. However, these meals are not always healthy or balanced. Shared snacks, dining out, and indulging in desserts while watching TV add extra calories. Moreover, according to research, partners often adjust to each other’s eating habits. For instance, if one partner prefers hearty and calorie-dense meals, the other might start eating more to keep up, which is especially common for women who might adopt their husband's higher-calorie habits. 3. Emotional Stability: Marriage typically brings a sense of stability and security. We feel comfortable in our relationship and worry less about our appearance. While this is beneficial for emotional health, it can lead to a decrease in motivation to maintain a healthy weight. How Were These Causes Identified? Researchers sought to understand how weight changes after marriage and the timeline for these changes. They observed a group of over 10,000 people over several years. These individuals were surveyed about their weight, marital status, physical activity, and eating habits at different stages of life. The participants regularly filled out questionnaires where they recorded their weight and provided information about their family circumstances, such as marriage, divorce, or the birth of children. Key Findings The results showed that the first few years after marriage are indeed associated with weight gain, with the most significant changes occurring within the first two years. Interestingly, the study found that women tended to gain more weight than men, and this process was often accompanied by decreased physical activity and increased calorie intake. An intriguing detail from the research was that couples who spent a lot of time together eating or cooking gained more weight than those who maintained more individual eating routines. This supports the idea that shared eating habits in marriage play a significant role in weight gain. Weight gain after marriage is not simply the result of one aspect of life changing; it’s a complex phenomenon influenced by various factors, such as shared eating habits, lifestyle changes, and psychological comfort. Studies like this help us better understand what affects our weight in such situations and how we can manage these changes. Understanding these mechanisms allows us to be more mindful of our health and take steps to avoid negative consequences for our body and overall well-being. My Takeaways and Advice for Avoiding Unhealthy Partner Habits We all know how easy it is to adopt our partner’s eating habits, especially if they involve favorite (but not always healthy) dishes. It’s important to remember that your habits are your choice, and by keeping them healthy, you not only take care of yourself but can also inspire your partner to follow your lead. Here are some recommendations to resist temptation and encourage your spouse to adopt healthier eating habits: 1. Respect Your Boundaries: It’s important to stick to your habits. If you prefer healthy food, don’t hesitate to communicate that. Let your partner understand that this is not just a whim, but a commitment to health. After all, each of you has the right to your preferences. 2. Make Healthy Food Tasty and Appealing: Show your partner that healthy food can be both nutritious and delicious! Experiment with recipes, add more vegetables, spices, and herbs. Invite your spouse to a cooking evening where you both prepare something new together. This not only strengthens your relationship but also demonstrates that healthy food can be exciting and tasty. - Tip: Try organizing a cooking night where you prepare a meal together. You can suggest a healthy recipe for your partner to choose, and then cook it together. This will not only strengthen your bond but also give your spouse a new perspective on healthy eating. 3. Lead by Example: Actions speak louder than words. If your partner sees that you’re feeling great and looking amazing because of your healthy eating habits, they’re more likely to want to follow your example. Don’t push your views, just demonstrate how healthy eating positively impacts your life. 4. Create Positive Associations: Offer your partner healthy alternatives to their favorite dishes. For example, instead of fried potatoes, try baked vegetables; instead of store-bought sweets, offer fruits with yogurt. The key is not to criticize but gently suggest substitutes. 5. Plan Menus Together: Planning the week’s menu together is a great way to find a compromise. Discuss what will be healthy and tasty for both of you and create a shopping list together. This way, your partner will feel involved and heard. 6. Agree on a "Cheat Day": There’s no need to completely give up favorite dishes. Agree that one day a week will be your "cheat day," where you both can indulge in something less healthy. This helps prevent the feeling that healthy eating is all about restrictions. 7. Support Each Other: Changing habits is a slow process. Support your partner in their efforts towards healthy eating, don’t pressure or criticize them. Praise each step they take towards better health. Encouraging your partner to embrace healthy eating is possible with respect and patience. Respect your boundaries, cook delicious and nutritious meals, lead by example, and support each other on this journey. After all, caring about your health is caring about the quality of your life together. Good luck on this journey! Final Thoughts: This topic touches on a significant aspect of relationships that’s often overlooked. The research highlights the importance of awareness and intentionality in how we approach our health, especially when living with a partner. While it's natural to relax a bit when you feel secure in a relationship, it's crucial to maintain a balance that prioritizes both emotional and physical well-being. The key takeaway here is that shared habits can shape our health outcomes, for better or worse. By staying mindful and supportive, couples can navigate these changes together, fostering not just a healthy relationship, but a healthy life as well.

Hi @Anri I’ve tried a few of these techniques myself. Taking notes as if I’m explaining to someone else has been incredibly helpful. It forces me to process the information more deeply rather than just passively reading. And like you, I’ve found that asking questions really helps, especially when I’m trying to connect new ideas with things I already know. The only thing...it takes more time than just reading, so you need to be ready to it. Visual aids are something I’m working on incorporating more. They’re especially useful for complex topics or when trying to remember how different concepts relate to each other. As for setting books aside, I agree—it’s important to know when to pause and come back with a fresh perspective. It’s a lot more effective than trying to power through when something just isn’t clicking.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how the smallest actions can have the biggest impacts. You know that feeling when you make a tiny decision, and it ends up snowballing into something much bigger than you ever imagined? This idea is perfectly captured in Ray Bradbury's short story, A Sound of Thunder. In the story, a group of hunters travels back in time to the dinosaur age. They’re told to stay on a specific path, warned that even the slightest change in the past could alter the future in unimaginable ways. But, of course, something goes wrong—one of the hunters steps off the path and crushes a butterfly. When they return to their own time, everything is different. That one small, seemingly insignificant action completely changed the course of history. This got me thinking about how this applies to our lives today. We often underestimate the power of our decisions, especially the small ones. But just like in the story, even the tiniest action can lead to big changes. It’s a reminder that everything we do matters, even if it doesn’t seem like it in the moment. It’s both a little scary and incredibly empowering to realize that our choices have this kind of impact. It means that we have the power to shape our own futures, for better or worse. It also means that we need to be mindful of the potential consequences of our actions, not just for ourselves, but for others as well. So, the next time you’re faced with a decision - big or small - remember the butterfly. You never know what kind of impact your actions might have.

I really resonate with what you've shared - especially the part about the difference between "trying" and "doing." It’s something I’ve wrestled with for a long time. What helped me make that shift was recognizing that doubt and fear will always be there, but they don’t have to control my actions. I started asking myself: What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? That question pushed me to take steps forward without overthinking the outcome. One thing that I’d love to add is the importance of small, consistent actions. Sometimes, we think that committing fully means taking giant leaps, but often, it’s the small daily choices that lead to real transformation. For example, instead of focusing on trying to change everything at once, I began committing to one small act each day that aligns with the life I want to live. Over time, these small actions built up my confidence and made "doing" feel more natural. Have you noticed any specific small actions or practices that help you shift from trying to doing? I’d be curious to hear what’s worked for you!

@Alisa here is a very informative post and YouTube video about Delayed life syndrome. Have a look

Rest is more than just taking a break; it’s about restoring your energy on a deeper level. Many people today feel drained, even after what they consider rest. This widespread fatigue is often due to an imbalance in how we manage our energy. We desire to feel recharged but often struggle to understand how to truly achieve it. The common go-to solutions like watching TV, bingeing on a series, or scrolling through social media seem like easy ways to unwind, but these activities can actually keep our brains engaged, preventing real rest. When you watch TV or engage with social media, your brain is still processing, organizing, and storing information. This mental activity means that your mind is still working, even when your body is physically still. If your day was filled with physical activity, then passive activities like watching TV might help balance out your energy levels. Your body relaxes, and your brain’s activity doesn’t feel overwhelming. But if your day was intellectually demanding - filled with problem-solving, communication, or creative work - continuing to engage your mind with more information in the evening can leave you feeling even more depleted. This is particularly important for those who work in intellectually or socially demanding jobs, where constant mental engagement is the norm. For these individuals, traditional forms of rest, like TV or social media, won’t suffice. They need to find ways to truly switch off their minds to recover fully. Types of Rest for Energy Restoration Rest comes in different forms, and understanding these can help you choose the right kind of rest depending on the type of exhaustion you're facing. Here are the key types of rest: Physical Rest: This includes activities like sports, walking, swimming, or even manual tasks like chopping wood or gardening. Engaging in physical activities can be particularly refreshing if your day was mentally taxing. Social-Emotional Rest: Spending quality time with friends or loved ones can be an energizing form of rest. Such interactions can help you recharge emotionally, offering a healthy exchange of energy that lifts your spirits. Creative Rest: Engaging in creative hobbies like drawing, knitting, or even tinkering with electronics can be a powerful way to restore your energy. Activities that involve fine motor skills are especially effective. Listening to music, attending a concert, or enjoying live performances can also provide a creative recharge by stimulating your brain in a different way. Spiritual Rest: This involves practices like meditation, prayer, or spending time in a place of worship. Spiritual rest is about connecting with something greater than yourself, whether through religious practices or simply quiet reflection. This connection can offer a profound sense of peace and energy renewal. The Daily Energy Cycle Every morning, we wake up with a full reserve of energy. This daily gift of energy is abundant, but how we choose to spend it makes all the difference. If we spend our day focused on worries, negative thoughts, or endlessly scrolling through social media, our energy drains quickly. Where our focus goes, our energy flows. Thinking about scarcity can lead to more scarcity, while focusing on abundance can create more of it. Recognizing that you have a fresh store of energy each day can empower you to make better choices. Begin by observing where your energy goes throughout the day. Keep a journal to track your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and notice patterns. Over time, you can start making small adjustments to redirect your energy towards more positive and fulfilling activities. FInal Thoughts Understanding the different types of rest and the daily cycle of energy is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance in life. It’s important to remember that rest isn’t just about stopping; it’s about actively engaging in activities that restore different types of energy—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. By paying attention to how we spend our energy and consciously choosing activities that replenish it, we can avoid burnout and lead more fulfilling lives. Restoration is a process, not a one-time fix. It requires self-awareness and consistent effort. But by taking small steps towards better energy management, you can significantly improve your overall well-being and productivity. So, start today by identifying which type of rest you need most and make it a part of your routine.

when I’m learning something new, I don’t just take everything at face value. I ask myself: Does this really make sense? Are there other perspectives I should consider? How can I apply this in my own life? This approach helps me make smarter decisions and avoid falling into common traps. We actually wrote a lot about the critical thinking and its involvement in most of the aspects of our life, check out these posts to learn more:

A story about time management in unexpected way... There once was a city called Chronopolis, where time was the most valuable currency. The residents of Chronopolis all had the same 24 hours each day, but their success was measured by how effectively they used those hours. At the heart of the city lived a wise mentor named Tempus, who had mastered the art of time management and knew the secrets to unlocking the true power of every minute. One day, a young and ambitious resident named Lia came to Tempus, frustrated and overwhelmed. "I don't understand," she said. "I work hard every day, but I can't seem to get ahead. I have so many distractions, and at the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished nothing." Tempus nodded, having heard similar concerns from many others before her. "Lia," he said, "the key to mastering time is not just about working harder, but about working smarter. Let me show you the way." He started by teaching Lia about the concept of deep work. "To truly make progress," Tempus explained, "you must dedicate time to focused, uninterrupted work. This is where the magic happens. When you commit two to three hours—or even a whole day—to a single important task, without letting distractions creep in, you unlock a level of productivity you never knew was possible." Lia was intrigued but skeptical. "But what about all the other things I have to do? And the distractions—they're everywhere!" Tempus smiled. "That's where prioritization and planning come in. You must learn to separate the essential from the trivial. Not everything demands your attention. Reflect on what truly matters, and let go of the rest. And remember, it's not just about planning what to do, but also about creating an environment where you can do it without interruptions." He went on to share more wisdom: "Simplify your life, Lia. Don't spend time on things that don't add value to your goals. Meals, for example—do you need to eat five times a day? Or could you focus on fewer, more nutritious meals and save time? The same goes for social media and other distractions—ask yourself, do they help you, or do they hold you back?" Lia began to see the pattern. It wasn't about squeezing more activities into her day but about eliminating the unnecessary ones. "Tempus," she asked, "what about the time I spend commuting, or on chores I don't enjoy? It feels like such a waste." "Ah," Tempus replied, "that's where delegation comes in. If there are tasks that drain your time and energy, and if you can afford to delegate them, do so. Free up your time for what truly matters. In a city like Chronopolis, time is your most precious resource—spend it wisely." Over the next few weeks, Lia started implementing Tempus' teachings. She set aside dedicated blocks of time for deep work, minimized distractions, and planned her days with purpose. She delegated tasks that others could do better or faster, freeing up her own time for more meaningful work. And slowly but surely, she began to notice a shift. Her work became more focused, her progress more measurable. The time she once felt slipping away was now being used with intention, and she felt a sense of control she had never experienced before. One evening, after a particularly productive day, Lia returned to Tempus. "I understand now," she said. "The time was never missing—it was always there, waiting for me to use it wisely." Tempus smiled. "Indeed, Lia. Time is the one resource you can never get back, but you can always learn to manage it better. The difference between those who thrive and those who struggle is not in the hours they have, but in how they choose to spend them." And with that, Lia walked away from Tempus' home, no longer just a resident of Chronopolis, but a master of her time. She knew that every hour, every minute, held the potential for greatness—it was up to her to unlock it. In the end, the story of Chronopolis is not just about a city or a mentor. It's about each of us, living in our own version of Chronopolis, with the same 24 hours in a day. The question is, how will you choose to spend yours?

Let me take you deeper into the world of TRIZ by exploring its 40 Inventive Principles, which are like hidden keys that can unlock innovative solutions to almost any problem. These principles aren’t just abstract ideas; they’re practical strategies that have been used across countless industries to crack tough challenges and drive breakthrough innovations. Segmentation: Breaking It Down Have you ever faced a problem that felt overwhelmingly complex, like a tangled web you couldn’t unravel? That’s where the principle of Segmentation comes into play. The idea here is simple yet powerful: instead of tackling a massive problem all at once, break it down into smaller, more manageable parts. Imagine you’re working on a project with many moving pieces—a large marketing campaign, for instance. Instead of getting lost in the enormity of the task, you could segment it into smaller, focused areas like social media, content creation, and customer outreach. Each segment can be worked on independently, making the whole process more efficient and less daunting. Segmentation also applies to product design. Think about modern furniture—many pieces are now modular, meaning you can add or remove sections based on your needs. This flexibility doesn’t just make the furniture more versatile; it also makes manufacturing and shipping easier and more cost-effective. It’s a win-win situation, all thanks to breaking things down into more manageable chunks. Inversion: Flip It Around Now, let’s talk about Inversion, one of my personal favorites. This principle is all about flipping the script and looking at your problem from the opposite direction. It’s a bit like turning a puzzle piece upside down to see if it fits better. For example, consider the challenge of making a product more durable. The usual approach might involve using stronger materials or more robust construction techniques. But what if, instead of making the product indestructible, you designed it to be easily repairable? By inverting the problem—focusing on repairability rather than durability—you might find a solution that’s more sustainable, cost-effective, and customer-friendly. This principle isn’t just for physical products. It can be applied to services, processes, or even relationships. Imagine you’re struggling with a team that’s not collaborating well. The typical approach might be to enforce stricter rules or hold more meetings. But what if you inverted the problem and instead encouraged more autonomy, giving team members more control over how they collaborate? Sometimes, the solution lies in doing the opposite of what seems logical at first. Pushing Beyond the Obvious These principles, Segmentation and Inversion, are just two of the 40 that TRIZ offers, each one nudging you to think beyond the obvious. What makes them so powerful is their ability to shift your perspective, helping you see new possibilities that weren’t apparent before. Think of these principles as tools in a craftsman’s toolbox. Each tool has a specific purpose, and when used correctly, it can help you shape, refine, and perfect your solution. The more familiar you become with these principles, the more naturally you’ll start to apply them, even without realizing it. It’s like training your brain to look for shortcuts to innovation. Bringing It to Life Let’s make this more concrete. Say you’re tasked with improving a service that’s struggling to meet customer demands. Using Segmentation, you might decide to break the service down into smaller, more specialized offerings, allowing customers to pick and choose exactly what they need. This not only simplifies the service but also tailors it to individual needs, making it more attractive and efficient. Or, take Inversion—you might normally focus on speeding up delivery times. But what if you inverted that goal and instead focused on improving the customer experience while they wait? Offering real-time tracking, engaging content, or surprise discounts could turn the wait time into a positive experience, making customers more satisfied overall. Invitation to Innovate The beauty of TRIZ and its Inventive Principles is that they’re not just for engineers or inventors. They’re for anyone looking to solve problems in new and creative ways. Whether you’re trying to design a new product, streamline a process, or even improve your daily life, these principles can help you find innovative solutions. So, here’s a challenge for you: Think about a problem you’re facing right now. How might you apply **Segmentation** or **Inversion** to tackle it? Could breaking it down into smaller parts make it more manageable? Or could flipping the problem around reveal a solution you hadn’t considered? Let’s explore how these principles can lead to breakthroughs in our own lives. What problem are you going to approach with a TRIZ mindset today?

When I think about persistence and stubbornness, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with two distinct types of people: those who are relentless in their pursuit of success, and those who are simply stubborn. The persistent ones, like the Collison brothers who founded Stripe, are the type who don't just listen when you point out a flaw—they dig into it with an almost predatory curiosity. They want to know every possible problem because they’re committed to fixing it. They don't stop until they’ve tried every possible solution. It's not about clinging to a particular method or idea; it’s about being committed to the goal itself and being flexible about how to get there. On the other hand, stubborn people are different. When you point out an issue to them, you can see it in their eyes—they glaze over, and their responses become mechanical, like they’re defending a belief rather than seeking a solution. They don’t want to change direction, even when it’s clear they’re heading toward a wall. This rigidness often comes from clinging to the first idea that pops into their heads. They get attached to the method rather than the outcome, which usually leads to failure because they’re not adaptable. This difference becomes even clearer as challenges grow more complex. Persistent people remain focused on their ultimate goal, adapting their approach as necessary. Stubborn people, however, apply their “never give up” attitude indiscriminately, refusing to pivot even when the situation demands it. Their resistance to change isn’t just a minor flaw—it’s a fundamental personality trait, a sort of reflexive aversion to altering their ideas. It’s not the same as being foolish, but it often leads to foolish outcomes because they resist even when evidence mounts against them. Persistence, on the other hand, is a far more sophisticated quality. It requires not just the refusal to give up, but also creativity, resilience, and common sense. Persistent people keep trying different methods because they’re constantly thinking about what else might work. They are active, inventive, and when they encounter setbacks, they remain undeterred. They’re rational about their choices, focusing on the potential value of different paths rather than stubbornly sticking to one. However, even persistent people can seem irrational at times—usually when choosing their ultimate goals. But this irrationality isn’t a flaw; it’s often what drives them to tackle challenges others wouldn’t. They might choose a goal because it’s personally meaningful, or because they see something in it that others don’t. This focus on a key objective is crucial. It’s not about pursuing just any goal; it’s about finding one that is both motivating and meaningful. In essence, persistence is a rare and powerful blend of five qualities: activity, creativity, resilience, common sense, and a focus on the right goal. It’s these qualities that set persistent people apart from the merely stubborn. While anyone can be stubborn—children, drunkards, and fools alike—true persistence, with all its complexity, is what leads to the kind of success that seems almost magical. Here is a series of interesting post about luck and hard work, have a look

Living on "Autopilot" For most of our lives, we operate on autopilot. Each of us follows a series of classic life stages: we're born, we go to kindergarten, then school, later maybe university, and eventually, we find a job, start a family, and just kind of live life. But no one really teaches us how to live that life. We carry misconceptions about what life should be like, and these misconceptions prevent us from living the best, most fulfilling life we can. In this text, we’ll explore eight misconceptions and beliefs that might be holding you back. By addressing these, you can unlock a life that is richer, more interesting, and truly yours. If you take the time to reflect on these points and incorporate the lessons into your life, you’re guaranteed to see positive changes. If any of these resonate with you, I'd love to hear about it in the comments. Feel free to share your own misconceptions or thoughts about the ones we’ll discuss. My name is Vadim, an entrepreneur from Siberia, and I’m here to help you navigate this journey. Misconception 1: "I’ll Start on Monday" How often have we delayed something important—whether it’s a dream, a new habit, or a tough decision—until "Monday," "next month," or "next year"? It's so convenient to tell ourselves that now isn’t the right time, that better opportunities will come. "I’ll start working out after my vacation," or "I’ll quit this job I hate in a couple of years, once I pay off my debts." We convince ourselves that now isn’t the time, that we’ll tackle these things later. But here’s the truth: the perfect time never comes. There is no future and no past—there’s only the present moment and the actions we take now. Delaying things is just a trap that works against you. Time is limited, and our lives are brief. In cosmic terms, the average human lifespan of 75 years is nothing more than a blink of an eye. Will you be a spark that no one notices, or a blazing fire that leaves a lasting impression? The choice is yours. Misconception 2: "I Have Plenty of Time" Wake up! Time isn’t as abundant as you think. Take me, for example—I'm 28. In another 28 years, I’ll be 56. I’m already living through the most crucial part of my life, the period when most people set the course for who they’ll be and what they’ll do. The decisions I make now shape my future, and time is slipping by faster than we realize. Yes, you can change your life at any age, but the sooner you start asking yourself the important questions, the better. None of us knows when our time will run out. We might plan to live until 70 or 80, but an unforeseen tragedy could cut that short. We live under the illusion that we have all the time in the world, but the reality is that our time is incredibly limited, and we have no idea when it will end. Misconception 3: "It Won’t Work Out for Me" "It won’t work out for me" is one of the most dangerous beliefs you can hold. Whether it’s finding your dream job, building strong relationships, starting a business, or moving to a new city—if you believe it won’t work out, you’re likely using that as an excuse to stay in your comfort zone. It’s easy to stay where you are, especially if you surround yourself with others who share the same limiting beliefs. But here’s the thing: if even one person out of the 7 billion on this planet has achieved what you want to achieve, then it’s possible. And chances are, there are millions of people who have already done what you aspire to do. The key is to commit, make multiple attempts, and put in the effort required. You can become whoever you want to be, but it’s up to you to make it happen. It won’t be easy—far from it—but it’s definitely possible. Misconception 4: "I Know Myself" One of the biggest misconceptions we hold is the belief that we truly know ourselves. Sure, you might know what you like—your favorite coffee, your hometown, your friends—but do you really understand who you are inside? How often do you ask yourself the hard questions? Are you doing what you genuinely want to do, or have you convinced yourself that your current life is okay because "everyone else is doing it"? We often think we know others well, too—friends, family, colleagues—but the reality is, we can’t know others if we don’t truly know ourselves. We only see others through the lens of our own experiences and perceptions. So, take the time to study yourself, to understand your true desires, and to honestly answer the tough questions. This is the first step to changing your life for the better. Misconception 5: "To Make Money, You Have to Work Hard" Yes, hard work is necessary, but the key question is: where are you directing your efforts? If you’re working in a job where the highest salary is $100,000, but you want to earn $500,000, it’s unlikely you’ll reach your goal within that context. That doesn’t mean your work isn’t valuable, but if you want to earn more, you might need to explore different paths. If you dream of becoming a singer, an actor, or any other profession outside your current field, pursuing those passions might bring you the financial success you’re looking for. When you love what you do, you’ll have the energy and motivation to keep pushing forward, and the chances of becoming successful are much higher. It’s all about finding what you love, being disciplined, and persevering through the challenges. Misconception 6: "Health Isn’t the Most Important Thing" You can have all the money in the world, a loving family, lots of friends, and a great reputation—but if your health fails, none of that will bring you true happiness. Health is the foundation of everything. Without it, you can’t enjoy the good things in life. Sadly, the lives of some of the world’s wealthiest individuals remind us that money can’t always buy health. You may be lucky enough to recover from an illness and gain a new appreciation for life, or you may find yourself in a battle where the outcome isn’t certain. On the other hand, if you’re healthy but don’t have millions, you can still live a happy and fulfilling life. Take care of your health—it’s the vehicle that carries you from your first breath to your last. Misconception 7: "People Care What You Do" One of the most liberating realizations is that people generally don’t care what you do. Whether you try something new, fail spectacularly, or succeed beyond your wildest dreams, people might notice for a moment, but then they move on with their own lives. We tend to overestimate our importance in the eyes of others, which often leads us to hold back. Remember, everyone is too busy dealing with their own lives to pay much attention to yours. And if someone does spend a lot of time thinking about you, it’s usually because they’re dissatisfied with their own situation. The only person whose opinion truly matters when it comes to your life is yours. Misconception 8: "Now I Know Everything" The belief that you’ve learned all there is to know, especially in a certain field or aspect of life, is a surefire way to stunt your growth. The moment you tell yourself, "I’ve got it all figured out," is the moment you stop learning and evolving. In reality, our understanding of the world is shaped by our past experiences, but that doesn’t mean our version of the truth is the *only* truth. There’s always more to learn, more to discover, and more ways to grow. Final Thoughts Life is full of misconceptions that can hold us back, but recognizing and challenging them is the key to unlocking a fuller, richer existence. The journey to self-awareness and improvement is ongoing, and it requires us to be honest with ourselves and brave enough to take action. Remember, life is short—make it count by living intentionally, pursuing your true desires, and never stopping your growth. If you embrace these ideas, you’ll find that life can be much more than just going through the motions. It can be extraordinary.